| 20th December 2006 12:50 PM |
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| Bitch |
Women dont need help when it comes to shopping, but men definately do!
First tip: Do NOT give money. Its a lazy, thoughtless gift. We dont like getting money, even if we can use it, because it will just go towards bills and theres no lasting gift.
Second tip: Jewelry. Every woman likes it, and it doesnt have to elaborate or expensive. Gold always works, and silver. If you dont know about anything she wants, then go for a bracelet. One size fits all.
Third tip; if she doesnt wear jewelery, go for a watch. Simple and classic is best. Again, one size fits all.
Fourth tip: Buy a special card, NOT a boxed card, and write something cute inside.
Fifth tip: Make sure its wrapped in shiny paper. Stores will wrap for you if you ask.
Sixth tip: Tell her to close her eyes when its time for the giving, and plant a nice big kiss on her lips while her eyes are still closed. Then put the gift in her handa and tell her to open her eyes. At this point shes already happy.
Good luck men!
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| 20th December 2006 02:29 PM |
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| Lazy Bones |
seventh tip: never look to internet message boards for shopping tips. |
| 20th December 2006 02:31 PM |
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| PartyDoll MEG |
All you guys need to do for Christmas...
I can't get on You tube at work.....but here it is on another site.....
http://www.break.com/index/snl_a_sp...istmas_box.html
[Edited by PartyDoll MEG] |
| 20th December 2006 02:39 PM |
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| SheRat |
quote:
Bitch wrote:
Women dont need help when it comes to shopping, but men definately do!
Perhaps, but women definitely need help when they do things like presume to speak for the entire gender.
quote:
First tip: Do NOT give money. Its a lazy, thoughtless gift. We dont like getting money, even if we can use it, because it will just go towards bills and theres no lasting gift.
It's better than wasting money on some gift that I'll stuff in a drawer and eventually give to Goodwill...for instance...
quote:
Second tip: Jewelry. Every woman likes it, and it doesnt have to elaborate or expensive. Gold always works, and silver. If you dont know about anything she wants, then go for a bracelet. One size fits all.
I hate gold. And I don't wear bracelets.
quote:
Third tip; if she doesnt wear jewelery, go for a watch. Simple and classic is best. Again, one size fits all.
I don't wear watches and if I did, the only kind I'd want would be a big fat silver wallet in a leather wristband.
quote:
Fourth tip: Buy a special card, NOT a boxed card, and write something cute inside.
This is the first sensible "tip" that's been given. However, I, personally, don't think that a card satisfies the "present" requirement, no matter how cute.
quote:
Fifth tip: Make sure its wrapped in shiny paper. Stores will wrap for you if you ask.
I'll agree with this.
quote:
Sixth tip: Tell her to close her eyes when its time for the giving, and plant a nice big kiss on her lips while her eyes are still closed. Then put the gift in her handa and tell her to open her eyes. At this point shes already happy.
I don't know about this. If I open the present and it's one of those "next-best thing to the real thing" pocket vaginas, I'm not going to be too happy.
(Bitch: I'm sure you copied this from somewhere, please don't take personal offense, I's just adding my two cents for amusement)
[Edited by SheRat] |
| 20th December 2006 02:46 PM |
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| Dan |
I prefer announcing to the whole family on Thanksgiving that I am converting to Islam and refuse to celebrate any infidel holidays. Then when it's all over tell them my New Year's Resolution to become a better athiest.
My dad's side of the family is all Christian Gawd freaks and my mom's side is athiest Santa freaks. Don't really feel comfortable around either of them. |
| 20th December 2006 03:14 PM |
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| SheRat |
quote:
Dan wrote:
I prefer announcing to the whole family on Thanksgiving that I am converting to Islam and refuse to celebrate any infidel holidays. Then when it's all over tell them my New Year's Resolution to become a better athiest.
My dad's side of the family is all Christian Gawd freaks and my mom's side is athiest Santa freaks. Don't really feel comfortable around either of them.
howe does the atheist santa freak thing work? |
| 20th December 2006 03:37 PM |
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| Fiji Joe |
Dudes...women go crazy over kitchen appliances...gifts that keep on giving...nah I sayin'?...but if you're going to go the jewelry route, go with gold...diamonds are ridiculously over-valued |
| 20th December 2006 03:40 PM |
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| monkey_man |
Women love flat screen TV's and stereo equipment. You just can't go wrong there! |
| 20th December 2006 03:52 PM |
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| Stones Security |
Nothing says Happy Holidays like a nice vacuum cleaner!
Why did the woman cross the road?
(Hey! Who let her out of the kitchen???!!!) |
| 20th December 2006 03:58 PM |
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| Joey |
" Tell her to close her eyes when its time for the giving, and plant a nice big kiss on her lips while her eyes are still closed. Then put the gift in her handa and tell her to open her eyes. At this point shes already happy."
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| 20th December 2006 04:04 PM |
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| SheRat |
quote:
Joey wrote:
" Tell her to close her eyes when its time for the giving, and plant a nice big kiss on her lips while her eyes are still closed. Then put the gift in her handa and tell her to open her eyes. At this point shes already happy."
who is that? |
| 20th December 2006 05:15 PM |
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| monkey_man |
quote:
SheRat wrote:
who is that?
http://www.novogate.com/board/968/233668-1.html |
| 20th December 2006 05:19 PM |
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| GotToRollMe |
Just so everyone knows, I don't wear a watch, so you can just take that Cartier back and get me something else.
I'm not into time, man. 
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| 20th December 2006 05:44 PM |
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| Joey |
quote:
SheRat wrote:
who is that?
My New Wife !!!!
See how HAPPY she is to be ' Mrs. Joeykins '  |
| 20th December 2006 06:11 PM |
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| Bitch |
Haha I can see these ideas are NOT being taken seriously!!
I made that up myself, I take full blame for it!!
Tough crowd here!
ok let me add the
eithth tip:?
Very sexy lingeree from Victorias Secret |
| 20th December 2006 06:32 PM |
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| LadyJane |
I just got back from the madness and I gotta tell you....if you've waited....you are in DEEP trouble.
Valentine's Day stuff is out.
All Winter apparel is on the sale racks. Spring clothes abound. Not good for Buffalo in December.
Asked for boxes at Pier 1. They laughed.
I agree that money is tacky.
However, GIFT CARDS, are acceptable. Be generous...wrap it up pretty.
Also a good suggestion gentlemen...gift certificates to a nice salon...for a massage, manicure, pedicure..the works.
Good luck
LJ.
[Edited by LadyJane] |
| 20th December 2006 08:51 PM |
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| parmeda |
quote:
Fiji Joe wrote:
Dudes...women go crazy over kitchen appliances...gifts that keep on giving...nah I sayin'?...but if you're going to go the jewelry route, go with gold...diamonds are ridiculously over-valued
WRONG! ...on both points, Feej.
If you were my husband and gave me a kitchen appliance as a gift, I'd wedge it so far up the crack of your ass you'd have stainless steel eyeballs, honey
...and I'd prefer diamonds over plain gold any day  |
| 20th December 2006 09:12 PM |
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| Starbuck |
a few years ago i got the mrs a $50 gift certificate to victoria's secret. "the gift that keeps on giving...."
she came home with a nice pair of wool pajamas. tops and bottoms.
 |
| 20th December 2006 09:15 PM |
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| Egbert |
quote:
Bitch wrote:
Sixth tip: Tell her to close her eyes when its time for the giving, and plant a nice big kiss on her lips while her eyes are still closed. Then put the gift in her hand and tell her to open her eyes. At this point shes already happy.
Huh-huh huh-huh huh-huh huh-huh huh-huh
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| 20th December 2006 09:25 PM |
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| Bitch |
quote:
Fiji Joe wrote:
Dudes...women go crazy over kitchen appliances...gifts that keep on giving...nah I sayin'?...but if you're going to go the jewelry route, go with gold...diamonds are ridiculously over-valued
You ARE joking right? Kitchen appliances are out! |
| 20th December 2006 11:25 PM |
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| SheRat |
quote:
parmeda wrote:
...and I'd prefer diamonds over plain gold any day
Indeed.
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| 20th December 2006 11:47 PM |
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| Maxmeister |
quote:
Starbuck wrote:
a few years ago i got the mrs a $50 gift certificate to victoria's secret. "the gift that keeps on giving...."
she came home with a nice pair of wool pajamas. tops and bottoms.
Life is all about valuable lessons. Wool sucks. Lingerie, thongs, teddys work way better than the certificates as you've learned.
I've had a VS credit card for years. As I was taught back in my Boy Scout days......always prepared.
Rick |
| 21st December 2006 12:40 AM |
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| Bloozehound |
Santa says to stuff a two-headed dong and a lesbien lover into her stocking
she'll love you for it
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| 21st December 2006 04:08 AM |
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| F505 |
American girls want everything in the world you can possible imagine |
| 21st December 2006 06:14 AM |
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| SweetVirginia |
French girls they want Cartier,
Italian girls want cars.... |
| 21st December 2006 09:54 AM |
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| Madafaka |
Xmas gifts? This is the Santa's work! |
| 21st December 2006 09:55 AM |
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| egon |
beer is always good |
| 21st December 2006 09:57 AM |
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| GotToRollMe |
I prefer a shoebox full of 20's, but that's just me.
Hey Egon, speaking of gifts...have I mentioned that I really like that scrolling .GIF image you've got there?...
[Edited by GotToRollMe] |
| 21st December 2006 10:19 AM |
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| GotToRollMe |
All kidding aside, I can only speak for myself but I think most women feel this way: Guys, don't give her a "joke" card. My ex gave me what used to be known as a "studio card" on our first Christmas together (I don't think they even make 'em anymore). I could've saved a lot of time (17 years worth of time, to be exact) if I'd just gone with my instincts after that, but nooooo....
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| 21st December 2006 10:31 AM |
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| egon |
quote:
GotToRollMe wrote:
I prefer a shoebox full of 20's, but that's just me.
Hey Egon, speaking of gifts...have I mentioned that I really like that scrolling .GIF image you've got there?...
[Edited by GotToRollMe]
i made you one already. didn't you see it? |
