| 2nd December 2006 03:23 PM |
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| Joey |
..Twas the week before Christmas, I slept like a log.
I Suddenly awoke, I heard a sound through my fog.
I got out of bed with a yawn and a stretch.
Was hungover as hell, I felt I might retch.
Then I heard it again as I approached the stair.
Was it a lion, a tiger or a rabies-infected bear?
I ran with a dither, a pom-pastity klither!
A slither, a twither, a kink kinkily bo-bither!
I came to our tree, all festooned in light.
I smiled with glee at the delicious new sight.
There were presents from Santa in a pile so thick.
The cookies and milk were gone with a smack and a lick.
I went to the kitchen; it was there that I saw...
A bright light shinning from under the cellar door!
I slowly opened the door and crept fast down below.
The Stones were playing loud on my Subterranean stereo!
I rounded the corner and froze with a stare.
There was Santa, rocking to Brussels Affair!
I could tell by his laughter he'd been at it a while.
His face full of joy and a permanent smile.
He was dancing and singing and spilling his drink.
He was jumping and spinning, his face turning pink.
I stood there, mouth opened, and mindlessly leered.
When I noticed with a fright there was chiba in his beard!
Santa was drunk in the bar in my basement.
Hundreds of Stones CD's on the floor, not one in their casement.
I said "Santa slow down!" with concern in my speech.
As my own nasty hangover did temporarily teach.
I pleaded "Come on Santa you've got more presents to deliver!"
He barely looked up, drool leaving his mouth with a slither.
"What happened to Now Dasher, now Dancer, Now Prancer and Vixen...
On Comet, on Cupid, on Donder and Blitzen?"
With red eyes and rum breath he got to his feet.
He said "I've got a new catch phrase, and I'll often repeat:
"Now Wyman, now Taylor, Watts, Richards and Jagger!"
On Miss You, on Bitch, on Rocks Off and Shattered!"
I begged him to deliver the presents as he sat on an Elf.
He pointed out the window, "There's my sled, do it yourself!"
So I got in his sled with some beer and a map.
I got the deer flying with a whip and a clap.
We flew through the air as I loudly spat and cursed.
I have no idea where I'm going but I'll go to the Rocks Off members first!
**** I THANK YOU *******
***** THANK YOU ALL VERY MUCH ******
.... ** WHOOPIE !!! ** .....
Thank You
The Joey , Established 1999 and providing quality postings like this and many like it since day one .
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| 2nd December 2006 03:25 PM |
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| glencar |
maxy circa 1977 |
| 2nd December 2006 03:28 PM |
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| Joey |
quote:
glencar wrote:
maxy circa 1977
You make Joey say , ... " Huh " ?!
Please .... Blue .... do not hate me because I have talent.
Joe Sea ... Scroll ! |
| 2nd December 2006 03:30 PM |
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| glencar |
Your talent is just a memory, Joey. It's busted up on the shores of the North Platte River. |
| 2nd December 2006 05:07 PM |
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| Joey |
quote:
glencar wrote:
Your talent is just a memory, Joey. It's busted up on the shores of the North Platte River.
Funny !
Good Postin' |
| 2nd December 2006 06:01 PM |
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| pdog |
I'm thinking of stealing Jb's schtick. |
| 2nd December 2006 06:15 PM |
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| TampabayStone |
quote:
pdog wrote:
I'm thinking of stealing Jb's schtick.
You should! I already stole yours; just not as funny!
[Edited by TampabayStone] |
| 2nd December 2006 06:23 PM |
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| Bloozehound |
Does the Joey-tard like have a little folder on his pc where he keeps fiji joe and maxlugers posts?
If he wasn't so pathetic he would just be creepy
[Edited by Bloozehound] |
| 2nd December 2006 06:27 PM |
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| glencar |
quote:
Bloozehound wrote:
Does the Joey-tard like have a little folder on his pc where he keeps fiji joe and maxlugers posts?
If he wasn't so pathetic he would just be creepy
[Edited by Bloozehound]
Too harsh. Joey's just a harmless stalker. |
| 2nd December 2006 06:28 PM |
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| TampabayStone |
quote:
glencar wrote:
Too harsh. Joey's just a harmless stalker.
Joey?!
[Edited by TampabayStone] |
| 3rd December 2006 06:18 PM |
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| Joey |
" If he wasn't so pathetic he would just.... "
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| 4th December 2006 12:51 AM |
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| Starbuck |
 |
| 4th December 2006 01:07 AM |
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| erikjjf |
quote:
Joey wrote:
..Twas the week before Christmas
Joey?
 |
| 4th December 2006 09:33 AM |
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| Joey |
quote:
erikjjf wrote:
Joey?
FUNNY ! 
YES !!!! : JOEY !
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| 4th December 2006 10:05 AM |
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| WJ |
Is this a true story? |
| 4th December 2006 10:49 AM |
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| Joey |
quote:
WJ wrote:
Is this a true story?
Yes --- It is another " Joey Original " .
I Thank You for your time today !
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| 4th December 2006 10:50 AM |
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| Some Guy |
I fear this may have been lifted. |
| 4th December 2006 10:52 AM |
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| Joey |
" I fear this may have been lifted. "
...
[Edited by Joey] |
| 4th December 2006 11:10 AM |
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| Starbuck |
...inn...teres...ting....thr....zzzzzzzzzzzzzz
 |
| 4th December 2006 11:13 AM |
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| Joey |
quote:
Starbuck wrote:
...inn...teres...ting....thr....zzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Funny !!!!! |
| 4th December 2006 12:19 PM |
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| Joey |
Nank .. y ?!
........................
[Edited by Joey] |
| 4th December 2006 12:32 PM |
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| Starbuck |
joe...zzzzzzzz.....z.z.z.z...(schmunck) (cough.......).....zzzzzzz
 |
| 4th December 2006 12:34 PM |
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| TampabayStone |
 |
| 4th December 2006 01:12 PM |
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| Jumacfly |
quote:
TampabayStone wrote:
Where do you find all that stuff???  LOL |
| 5th December 2006 03:57 PM |
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| Joey |
Hello Baby Juma ................
What we drinkin' ?!
...
[cc:ss]
[Edited by Joey] |
| 5th December 2006 04:03 PM |
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| pdog |
Joey's cat just took a massive dump! |
| 5th December 2006 04:08 PM |
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| Starbuck |
and wher eha...ve you...been....late...ly??....zzzzz.....z.z.z........
 |
| 5th December 2006 04:11 PM |
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| Joey |
" Joey's cat just took a massive dump!"
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| 5th December 2006 04:11 PM |
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| glencar |
quote:
TampabayStone wrote:
Simply brilliant! |
| 5th December 2006 04:12 PM |
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| glencar |
If it wasn't for that picture & a brilliant second post, this thread would be where it rightfully belongs - in the dustbin of history. |
