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| Riffhard |
This is the craziest damned thing I have ever read! The scary thing is that it's true apparently. If you believe the ramblings of drunken vodka whore whose career was over shortly after Arthur 2! Read it weep(from laughter!)
Riffhard
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DAFFY DIARIES OF DISASTER FOR KOOKY COUPLE
By ANDREA PEYSER
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October 22, 2003 -- THAT explains it. From the wreckage of the Liza Minnelli-David Gest love nest, urban archeologists have unearthed a secret Diary of Fabulous Love, co-written by the "It" couple.
Stained with crumbled Mallomars and Metamucil, riddled with shards from broken bottles of Absolut and chocolate Slim-Fast, this diary answers a question that's keeping a stable family man like Michael Jackson up at night, asking his preteen playmates - what went wrong?
March 16, 2002. Liza writes:
Dear Diary,
Hooray! Gesty and I are finally, officially Wifey and Baby!
Such a beautiful ceremony - I cried and cried. Didn't even mind when David wrestled me for the Maybelline! His eyes are gorgeous enough without pilfering my stash.
I told Liz Taylor to shut up about him, already. Her marital track record sucks worse than mine. And she hogged the hors d'oeuvres. Get your own sausage, honey!
Baby and I ended our first night of wedding bliss in the most romantic way - David hid my Skyy, and I bitch-slapped him.
Aug. 28, 2002. David writes:
Diary,
She's out of control. This morning, she tries to make a phone call without my permission. What's next? Pick out her own clothes? Hey, I know Luther Vandross!
Last night, I commanded her to cool it on the Grey Goose. So she bitch-slapped me. I took seven Vicodin and called it a night.
Nov. 28, 2002. Liza writes:
Dearest Diary,
Thanksgiving was divine! Just Baby, me, 146 of our nearest and most marvelous. And Mr. Cristal. He sure knows how to chase away those goblins.
But David was in a nasty mood. He said something really hurtful about Mia Farrow. She so hates to be reminded about that ungrateful adopted daughter she allowed to scrub her floors. I hear Woody's got money problems now. Didn't seem to cheer anyone up.
I had to calm David down best as I could. I bitch-slapped him as usual.
June 10, 2002. David writes:
D,
London is a nightmare. Not only is she drinking nonstop, she ate Chinese food. Makes her breath smell like moldy garlic.
And she's hitting me. Really bad. Me! I'm a personal friend of James Ingram! My head hurt so bad from the bitch-slapping, I took 12 OxyContin and turned in.
March 4, 2003. Liza writes:
OK, Diary,
I have to come clean. David and I are having a few teensy, weensy problems. I mean, I have gone from a dress size of Whale down to Sea Lion with his help. But the more he nags me about drinking, which, I swear, I've practically stopped, the more I want to dive off that wagon. It's his fault! So I bitch-slapped him. What would you do?
June 2003. David writes:
Last night, she wailed my butt like a little girl. You should see the red marks. She's so mean. I'm a battered, pill-popping husband. Me. I'm also a personal friend of Raoul Felder. I'll make her pay.
June 2003. Liza writes:
David was so bad, I just had to teach him a lesson. Hurts me more than him.
Do you think our marriage can be saved?
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| Riffhard |
OK so maybe it's not really true but,I'm sure the truth would be even stranger! Truth is stranger than fiction ya know!
Riffhard |
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| Joey |
Riffy , I haven't laughed this hard since I got back from ' Nam .
Thanks .
You are much loved by the Jacky !
Skee !
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| gypsy |
It's like you stole mine and Joey's diaries. |
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| Joey |
" It's like you stole mine and Joey's diaries. "
WHO you " BitchSlappin' " woman ?!?!?!?!?!
This Moody Bastard !
[Edited by Joey] |
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