| 26th February 2007 02:12 PM |
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| Starbuck |
one of the joys of fatherhood found its way into my mouth yesterday morning, so i thought i'd share.
my wife, my two boys and I were lying in bed sunday, with at least one of us not really looking forward to getting up out of the nice, warm cocoon constructed out of the clean sheet and down bedspread to begin the day of grocery shopping and snow shovelling that was to follow. mrs starbuck had just finished feeding baby starbuck and had handed him to me by plopping his butt in my face. i was turning him around to make a face at him when i felt a big yawn coming on. at the same time, he felt something else coming on, and sent about six gallons of projectile vomit into my awaiting piehole. i began to gag, then elder boy starbuck began to gag (see: Lard Ass in Stand By Me), then mrs starbuck began to laugh her patuckus off. choking, i told her to throw me a towel, and she responded by tossing me a washrag the size of her thumbnail.
after i got a real towel sponged my face off, i looked at the puke factory with an "oh my god! what did you just do to me?!" look. he smiled back, tooted and proceeded to paw at my nose. all was immediately forgiven.
thank you for your time! i now return you to your previously scheduled programming.
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| 26th February 2007 02:15 PM |
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| monkey_man |
That story should be published in every high school in the country. Best birth control there is. . . . |
| 26th February 2007 02:20 PM |
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| PartyDoll MEG |
Bucky..even in one of your very highly imaginative states..you could never make up a story like that!!!!
Oh dear... it makes me want to laugh and puke at the same time! |
| 26th February 2007 02:23 PM |
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| pdog |
I had a moment like that too. I was standing outside on the street, had the youngster up in the air, as an offering to the gods. He was looking down, i was looking up, then I heard him burp, and remembered i just had given him a bottle. My Whee's and whosshes of tossing him up in the air, went south real fast. He let out a big old bucket of spit up, into my awaiting mouth. It was a beautiful day, tons of people strolling the mission district street I lived on...
I can still see the look on peoples faces, and awake at night, in a fit of panic, reliving that fateful moment, to their laughter aimed at me... |
| 26th February 2007 05:16 PM |
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| fireontheplatter |
i saw no more double fisting your child for awhile or at least up grade the swill for budweiser.
or perhaps he needs a night or two off.
i come to you so silent in the night so stealthy so animal quiet.
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| 26th February 2007 10:40 PM |
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| tumbled |
GROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I can smell it from here
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| 26th February 2007 10:56 PM |
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| pdog |
quote:
tumbled wrote:
GROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I can smell it from here
Britney and Paris hear that alot too! |
| 27th February 2007 07:48 AM |
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| GotToRollMe |
quote:
pdog wrote:
I had a moment like that too. I was standing outside on the street, had the youngster up in the air, as an offering to the gods. He was looking down, i was looking up, then I heard him burp, and remembered i just had given him a bottle. My Whee's and whosshes of tossing him up in the air, went south real fast. He let out a big old bucket of spit up, into my awaiting mouth. It was a beautiful day, tons of people strolling the mission district street I lived on...
I can still see the look on peoples faces, and awake at night, in a fit of panic, reliving that fateful moment, to their laughter aimed at me...
Classic! Pdog, your powers of description are far beyond those of mortal men. Thanks for the morning laugh. 
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| 27th February 2007 07:55 AM |
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| glencar |
Life is sweet... |
| 28th February 2007 05:46 AM |
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| jostorm |
I wonder if that taste is comparable to the taste they leave in your mouth when they reach the "bad" teenage years and , when you have your first real fight with them while trying to point out "the boundaries", they suddenly shout at you : "I hate you and I didn't ask to be born!"
(It hasn't happened to me YET, but I'm prepared for it, as I did the same to my parents!)
That suddenly makes the long-forgotten taste of vomit seem sweet....
Enjoy their childhood while it lasts!
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| 28th February 2007 09:04 PM |
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| CraigP |
Nothing more attractive than a bitch the size of a pencil who makes herself puke because she's fat.
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| 28th February 2007 09:40 PM |
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| Starbuck |
quote:
I wonder if that taste is comparable to the taste they leave in your mouth when they reach the "bad" teenage years and , when you have your first real fight with them while trying to point out "the boundaries", they suddenly shout at you : "I hate you and I didn't ask to be born!"
(It hasn't happened to me YET, but I'm prepared for it, as I did the same to my parents!)
That suddenly makes the long-forgotten taste of vomit seem sweet....
Enjoy their childhood while it lasts!
thanks, jo...thanks for the upbeat comments...i feel so much better now.
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| 28th February 2007 09:45 PM |
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| pdog |
quote:
jostorm wrote:
I wonder if that taste is comparable to the taste they leave in your mouth when they reach the "bad" teenage years and , when you have your first real fight with them while trying to point out "the boundaries", they suddenly shout at you : "I hate you and I didn't ask to be born!"
(It hasn't happened to me YET, but I'm prepared for it, as I did the same to my parents!)
That suddenly makes the long-forgotten taste of vomit seem sweet....
Enjoy their childhood while it lasts!
When it happens it'll be well deserved, when my 5 year old threw a fit one time, " I tld him acting like that makes it really hard for me to lobe him... The fit did stop, and he began to reflect on his actions... I may pay dearly for this, but I can honestly say, my parents never did this, so it's a new approach... This can't be any more/less damging than getting hit on the ass with a belt, I hope! |
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| jostorm |
you're welcome, starbuck, enjoy it while they're little, mine's 13 now and it sometimes feels as if "I blinked and missed it", if you know what I mean, they grow up so damn fast...
pdog: great approach, if you can keep your cool and quietly discuss it with them, certainly at age 5.... Beating the shit out of children, like our parents did with us, certainly gets the message across that it is perfectly ok to hurt someone you love, which is pretty fucked up if you ever stop and think about it. Having said that, I do think that it is ok to give them a sharp slap on the bum and tell them off if they f.e. break lose while you're holding their hand and suddenly run across a busy street and almost get themselves run over and killed by a car, like my daughter once did when she was 4,I guess the secret is to then do it "not in anger" (not sure if I ever was any good at that, I think not...)
And here's a tip for those occasions when you're doing the weekly food shopping at the big supermarket: when mine was 3 or 4 she once threw herself on the floor and screamed hysterically, while fisting the ground in frustration, because I had said I wouldn't buy her a specific bag of candy. After ignoring her for a while, I eventually got a bit fed up and promptly threw myself on the floor besides her and threw an even bigger tantrum, rolling around in the isle. She snapped out of hers after five seconds flat,got up and helplessly and with an open mouth looked at me and all the other grownups staring at her mum, quietly held my hand when I got up from the floor, and never, ever threw another tantrum in the supermarket again. Mum:1, Kid:0, Embarassmentfactor: off the Richter Scale (but worth it!). |
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| Gazza |
quote:
jostorm wrote:
After ignoring her for a while, I eventually got a bit fed up and promptly threw myself on the floor besides her and threw an even bigger tantrum, rolling around in the isle. She snapped out of hers after five seconds flat,got up and helplessly and with an open mouth looked at me and all the other grownups staring at her mum, quietly held my hand when I got up from the floor, and never, ever threw another tantrum in the supermarket again. Mum:1, Kid:0, Embarassmentfactor: off the Richter Scale (but worth it!).
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| PartyDoll MEG |
Oh dear God, Jo!!! Another choke on my muesli moment...
Personally I can't imagine myself ever having the courage to scream,kick, and cry on the filthy grocery store floor..but hey it worked for you.. You Go, Girl!!
Mine are grown and gone and on occasion I do miss those "magical moments" that children create..but only on occasion...I'll save up for grandmadom
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