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| Ten Thousand Motels |
Paris Hilton Named Worst Dressed
By Sarah Hall
Ah, for the days when "Paris" was synonymous with romance, beauty and fashion...
These days, thanks to a certain brazen blonde, the word evokes images of socialites abusing farm folk, amateur pornography and, according to style maven Mr. Blackwell, unforgivable fashion blunders.
Paris Hilton, Tinseltown's ultimate party girl, earned top billing on Blackwell's 44th annual list of Worst Dressed Women.
"Grab the blinders, here comes Paris," the fashion guru crowed about the saucy celebutante. "From cyber disgrace to red carpet chills--she's the vapid Venus of Beverly Hills!"
No word on what the star of Fox's The Simple Life and a certain, ahem, home movie thought about being named crown princess of the Ten Titans of Fashion Terror. However, it can't be denied that she was in scandalously good company.
Trailing just behind Hilton in the number two slot were the "Kissin' Cousins of Couture Crime," better known as Madonna and Britney Spears, who tied for second place.
"So many tacky trends, so little time," Blackwell surmised of the duo's fashion preferences.
It wasn't clear if he was referring specifically to Spears' recent wedding attire of choice, i.e. ripped jeans and a baseball cap. Or perhaps he meant the time Spears donned a skimpy bridal gown and proceeded to make out with a tuxedo-clad Madonna (news - web sites) at the 2003 MTV Video Music Awards. Or the time...well, it's safe to say he had plenty of material to work with.
Country diva Shania Twain (news) was Blackwell's pick for third ("buckled bombs and country-fried kitsch") and Something's Gotta Give star Diane Keaton (news) captured his vote for fourth ("dowdy, dumpy and frumpy!").
Rounding out the top five was another ditzy blonde vixen of reality television fame, namely Jessica Simpson (news), star of MTV's Newlyweds.
"Forget putting her stylist on suspension--just clean out that closet and hire a magician!" Blackwell advised.
Other particularly delicious zingers were reserved for number six, Celine Dion (news), who was dubbed a "half-sequined scarecrow, half gaudy acrobat," and number eight, Melanie Griffith (news), henceforth to be known as a "botox'd cockatoo in a painting by Dali!"
Blackwell was careful to explain that his barbs only apply to the stylistic decisions made by the stars and do not carry over to the women's professional lives.
"These women may be fabulously talented, beautiful and charismatic, but when it comes to pulling it all together fashion-wise, they all resemble Humpty Dumpty after the fall. Hopeless!" Blackwell stated.
The sharp-tongued critic did have a few positive words to offer the fashionably challenged masses.
"[D]espite the fiascoes that litter the landscape, there was some great fashion news to celebrate in 2003--unlike years past, coming up with 10 Terrors was much harder than usual," Blackwell said. "After all, if someone like the Duchess of York can look fit and fabulous, hope springs eternal for us all!"
Blackwell also weighed in on the lucky women he felt distinguished themselves as the Fabulous Fashion Independents of 2003.
Nicole Kidman (news), Katie Holmes (news), Sarah Jessica Parker (news) and Oprah Winfrey (news) were just a few of the lucky ladies he deemed to be raising the fashion bar for the remainder of the A-List.
Here's a complete look at Mr. Blackwell's 44th annual Worst Dressed List:
1. Paris Hilton
2. Tie: Madonna and Britney Spears (news)
3. Shania Twain
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| Jumacfly |
is she the worst banged too?? |
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| glencar |
She should never wear much. She's a bit caught up in herself but her show IS a huge hit. |
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| Joey |
" is she the worst banged too?? "
Hey !!!! That's my future wife you are talking about .
Paris is one HELL of a lay .............just ask anyone .
{ CA - RACK }
Triple Ronnie !
Ja- Ja- Ja- Jacky Hilton !
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| Jumacfly |
i ve seen it on french tv, just a few seconds ...it s a hit?? let s throw our tv by the windows!! like Keith and Bill used to do!!! |
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| glencar |
Joey! I thought you were "in transit" as it were. Paris didn't screw any of those razorbacks, did she? |
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| mac_daddy |
worst dressed..?
that's because she was wearing clothes...
when she's freeballin' (like getting out of that car), or just plain naked (as in everybody's fave vid), she is an absolute winner!!!
Just ask Joey... |
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| telecaster |
I have come to the decision that Paris is so stupid she is actually apealling |
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| Joey |
" I have come to the decision that Paris is so stupid she is actually apealling "
She is a very personable young lady who enjoys the pleasures of sex immensely ..................
..................and we are destined to be married someday .
What ?!?! Ok , sure :
www.zairgit.com/filez/parishilton.wmv
Jacky Hilton !
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| egon |
joeyster!
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| Joey |
Thanks Egon .......................that's my Princess there ..............!
It's her signature pose . She was born with it !!!!
Class .
J.
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| Factory Girl |
Nicole is sexier. |
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| glencar |
Nicole's a skank. She does whatever Paris tells her. But still, I'm sure Nicole is fun. |
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| Factory Girl |
Nicole is a shrewd opportunist.
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| glencar |
Tonight is the series finale. 8:30PM EST. |
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| Joey |
" Tonight is the series finale. 8:30PM EST. "
Bless You Blue !!!!!!!!
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| LadyJane |
I like Nicole. She just seems a bit more down to Earth.
And Paris, although a total space cadet, is a very pretty girl.
LJ. |
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| glencar |
Joey, I'm here to please. I'll be taping as duty calls but I'll be watching it several times. I love Paris but you can marry her. |
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| Joey |
" Joey, I'm here to please. I'll be taping as duty calls but I'll be watching it several times. I love Paris but you can marry her. "
She's yours on Thursday nights ! No ! Wait !!! Stoney has Thursdays ...............better make it Wednesdays .
J the Y !
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