quote:

---

Saint Sway wrote:
hold on to your enormous read hats Taters....

I've got the a new Van Humiliation clip!!!!!

its a Milli Vanilli moment...

apparently the audio tape got sped up a little too fast during "Jump"....

full train wreck footage to come shortly...

oh, and be warned Eddie fans --- Eddie plays worse than any of his recent drunk trade show clips on this one. Nails on a chalkboard...

brace yourselves...

---

quote:

---

parmeda wrote:
Sorry boys... but I DO have a job without the luxury of posting on message boards all fricken day, lol


Ok...do you want me to lie, or shall I hit you with the honest-to-god truth?

In one word: Sad

Sad, my friends.

Let me start out in telling you it was a scary stroll from the parking lot to the UC! I absorbed every retro flashback from the early 80's within the first 5 minutes.... The only thought running through my mind was, "GROW THE FUCK UP ALREADY!" ...and it didn't get any better after each row of cars I passed! (Sorry Sway, I didn't take a close look at the makes and models...but, had I read your comment about the Camero's before I left...I think I would have pissed on myself.) Then, this shady prick approaches my son with an armful of knock-off T's... I roll my eyes and look at the guy, politely telling him, 'no thanks'... He starts following us trying to peddle this shit (almost begging!) and I whip around, flash open my jacket (whereas my beloved, big, bold, tongue-T blinds this jag-off and he takes a step back. I'm bold. I take a step forward and look him dead in the eye, "Hey asshole, do I look like I want one of those pieces of shit?" We walk off and about 20 yards later I hear, "Yeah? Keith sucks!" Usually, those are fightin' words. But I merely hurled my arm around, slapped and grabbed the left cheek of my ass and gave him a high-hard-salute.

What an ass....

My son and I finally wade through the tail-gaters (all of which looked like a circle-jerk was about to commence, btw...) and made our way inside. We head directly to the bar. I knew I needed a drink immediately. It was worse there, than it was in the lot! I haven't seen so much "big hair" in two decades. I grab my martini and get the fuck outta there.

Off to find our seats. Much to my surprise we were escorted to the Budweiser sky-box. Now, I have to give kudos to my vendor... but not before I give him some grief for never coming through for me to other events! (Oh, he's gonna owe me big time.) There were 10 other people with us (none of whom I knew), but I felt safe as they were all corporate types only there for the free ride much as my son and I were, lol. As soon as we settled in, the house lights went down.

"Omg, here it comes", I thought to myself. And this is when the "sad" part came into play.

Don't ask me what the first 2 or 3 songs were... I was too busy trying to place the faces with what I recollected they should have been. It was so hard for me to connect with what they were doing. It was actually painful to watch. What made matters worse was glancing up at the huge screen behind the stage trying to see if it was really THEM. In all fairness, I found myself NOT looking, and that's when I was able to establish and appreciate just how great a musician Eddie really is. That's when the songs began to blend.

Kids...the guy looks like walking death - but if you can get beyond that, it was Eddie at his best. He can play - I have to give credit were credit is due.

And Dave? Jesus... I've never seen anybody so in love with himself. It was almost comical. And yes, believe it or not, there were women flashing their tits at him and he ate it, AND his ego, up with all he could muster. At some points, you could sense a little tension between him and the VH's - and it took nothing more than a quick 'fuck-you-smiled-look' from Eddie that took Dave's spin down a notch.

Diamond Dave has been long lost... say hello to The Human Cubic Zirconia, folks.

Can't say too much about Alex - he didn't seem to change all that much.

Little Wolfgang - let me tell ya, he's still very wet under the ears... but give him some time. The kid was having the time of his life. Given the opportunity he's had handed to him; what kid wouldn't! It did take him a while to "unfreeze" from his spot on stage, lol (poor thing) but it was noticeable he was more at ease if Eddie was within an arm's length to him.

We didn't stay for the encores; I needed to get the hell out of there and wasn't in the mood to fight in the parking lot. Plus, the corporate tight-asses we were stuck with were about as much as I could take for one night.

In a nutshell. If you do choose to catch one of their shows...keep your eyes closed. And for god's sake don't encourage Roth's antics by flashing your tits...

Oh!... and the mega die-hard fans? Fuck 'em. They're imbeciles. I had more fun walking in the parking lot going in.

Musically, I don't think Van Halen is all that bad this time around. It's the baggage they tote around with them..

---

quote:

---

parmeda wrote:

In a nutshell. If you do choose to catch one of their shows...keep your eyes closed. And for god's sake don't encourage Roth's antics by flashing your tits...

---

quote:

---

Saint Sway wrote:
Some Guy,

can you confirm if that was actually "Jump" because when Eddie starts playing it sounds more like "Mr. Roboto"

or maybe its there new single: "Rue"

apparently the synth part is an audio file that was recorded at 44k, but was mistakenly played back at 48k, so it was playing faster than normal... you'll notice that Eddie and Wolfie try to catch up but get lost quickly... though I cant tell for sure with Wolfie, as he might of been that lost for the whole show. But then Eddie is way out of tune and just playing weird scrambled noise. Its like Sonic Youth on acid. Only its not intentional. His guitar tone is so out of whack. I think hes either trying to speed up a half step to catch up to the tape, but he's in the wrong key..... Just a train wreck. Painful to listen to.


Wow. What a "band"



[Edited by Saint Sway]

---

quote:

---

mojoman wrote:


where have all the good times gone?

---

quote:

---

PartyDoll MEG wrote:
And SV, my fine friend, if ever I was to flash my tits(and I WOULD have to be two sheets to the wind and back again)..I would have to be listening and looking at some total hunk of a man who was blowing me away with his artistry!!

---

quote:

---

Saint Sway wrote:


Wolfie?

---

quote:

---

PartyDoll MEG wrote:
Sway..ya have to do way better than that!!

---

quote:

---

doo doo doo Dude wrote:


How 'bout this hunk:

---

quote:

---

pdog wrote:
Not that I would ever have gone to see VH, but now, I'm sure of it, a free ticket, dinner and a blow job wouldn't get my ass to their shows...

---

quote:

---

PartyDoll MEG wrote:
Pammy...I give you much kudos for going!!!

As always a very entertaining read, but I think you have crushed Some Guy!!!

And SV, my fine friend, if ever I was to flash my tits(and I WOULD have to be two sheets to the wind and back again)..I would have to be listening and looking at some total hunk of a man who was blowing me away with his artistry!!

Carry on, Guys!!!

---

quote:

---

Saint Sway wrote:
oh no Wingers...

its worse than I thought

WTF is Eddie playing?? A dead cat??

this is sad


---------------------------------------
***WARNING: Do not watch if this if you are A) still worshipping Van Halen and sporting a mullet while spinning out in your camaro behind the Stop & Shop. or B) are over the age of 40, still living at home and still air guitaring in front of your Van Halen black light poster in your bedroom.
Because you will be crushed. You have been warned.
---------------------------------------


OK. here ya go.... (you may want to cover your ears first)

---

quote:

---

The jinn, my friend. wrote:

---

quote:

---

Saint Sway wrote:
oh no Wingers...

its worse than I thought

WTF is Eddie playing?? A dead cat??

this is sad


---------------------------------------
***WARNING: Do not watch if this if you are A) still worshipping Van Halen and sporting a mullet while spinning out in your camaro behind the Stop & Shop. or B) are over the age of 40, still living at home and still air guitaring in front of your Van Halen black light poster in your bedroom.
Because you will be crushed. You have been warned.
---------------------------------------


OK. here ya go.... (you may want to cover your ears first)

---