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Topic: Anyone Heard Mick Sing "Hemorrhoid Blues?" Return to archive
November 18th, 2005 07:23 AM
RedLight It's on the ultra-rare "Drunken Milwuakee Soundcheck" bootleg.

The lyrics start out as:

I've got hemorrhoids on my butthole...
hurts me when I gots to sit down

I've got hemorrhoids on my butthole...
my woman treats me like a clown

I've got hemorrhoids on my butthole...
I'll find my medicine downtown


can't remember the rest of it
November 18th, 2005 07:46 AM
Jair I dont believe you.
November 18th, 2005 09:56 AM
gotdablouse Yes, it souns like you're the one who could be...drunk.
November 19th, 2005 08:56 AM
Jair Then, listen to this, please:


Last Friday afternoon I went to my home earlier than the usual, because I felt it was about to rain, and I wanna walk to my dog in the park just outside my house, check the "bimbo-girls" etc etc etc... Then, there we go, me and my dog, Nietzsche, talking together - 01 BIG happy family, after all


I was there about ten minutes when, out of blue, a male guy got my attention. He was very much alike John Malkovich, the actor. I thought to myself: Damn, lookaaa that! It looks John Malkovith himself!!! Veeeeeeeery aliked. Geez!


Well, I thought again, it can't be him, here at this end of the world. But...damn, I was very very very impressed. Amazing!!!


I've decided walk a few steps behind the guy. He was dressed very elegant & nicely, using also a New York Knicks cap and a huge sunglass, walking very calm and slow, watchin'all around and, at the same time, playing with a dalmatian puppy.

Then I decided call the guy, just to check:

- JOHN, I said, in a high tom voice.

Immediatelly he turned in my direction and...and...and he REALLY WAS Malcovich. Here. In my city. Walking the dog in the same park as me.




Then he said:
- What do you want?

And me:
- What do you think? Is really you...JOHN MALCOVICH??!!
I LOVE YOU!!! I LOVE YOUR WORK, ITS AMAZING, FANTASTIC, YOU ARE...

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, thanks, but keep quiet, please, he replied.


Then, we had the following conversation:


JAIR: What the hell are you doing here?


MALKOVICH: Ohhh, just visiting a friend for a few days.

(Having said that, he moved his head to a S-Class Mercedes, in which were a guy in the wheel, apparently, waiting for John).

JAIR: Hum, I see...

JOHN: Do you want an autograph?
JAIR: Nah! Forget it! Keep cool.
JOHN: Okkkkkkkkeeeeeyyyyyyyyy...May I ask you a big favor?

(Then, I thought: Oh-oh! He will ask me for a blow-job,
But he said:

Dont tell anyone I'm here, please?! Next week I'm leaving your city and backing to Chicago.

JAIR: Chicago???

JOHN: Yes, Chicago, in United States, never heard about it?

JAIR: Oh yes, Chicago, of course, I have friends over there...Puggie, for example, but you're wearing a Knicks cap...

JOHN: Ohhh, dont worry, actually I dont give a shit to basket. Its just to people dont recognize me.

JAIR: Ohhh...right, right, alright John! But it seems didn't work to me, huh? Wel, anyway, its a honor have you here in my hometown. Hope you're enjoying the visit!

JOHN: I am, I am. It's amazing here. Lots of trees, huh? Thank you. And take care.

JAIR: Yes, you too. Cool!!!



Then, my dog, Nietzsche, who was quiet all the conversation, looked right into my eyes and said, kinda mad:

Jair, you stupid fuck!!! Why didnt you accept the autograph??? You could sell it at ebay, you moron!!!


November 19th, 2005 08:59 AM
Poplar
November 19th, 2005 09:01 AM
Jair
quote:
Poplar wrote:




November 19th, 2005 09:58 AM
glencar I saw John Lithgow on the streets of NYC a few weeks back & he was perturbed that no one recognized him right away. He made sure to look around just so people would see him. He's very tall.
November 19th, 2005 03:25 PM
Jair
quote:
glencar wrote:
I saw John Lithgow on the streets of NYC a few weeks back & he was perturbed that no one recognized him right away. He made sure to look around just so people would see him. He's very tall.




Hmmmm...I hardly seem famous people here....wonder why...
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