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Topic: Britain's most stupid laws Return to archive
7th November 2007 12:50 PM
steel driving hammer Wed Nov 7, 12:19 PM ET

LONDON (AFP) -

Queen Elizabeth II's speech in the British parliament Tuesday may have been routine but at least nobody got bored to death. That would have been against the law.

Dying in parliament is an offence and is also by far the most absurd law in Britain, according to a survey of nearly 4,000 people by a television channel showing a legal drama series.

And though the lords were clad in their red and white ermine cloaks and ambassadors from around the world wore colourful national costumes, at least nobody turned up in a suit of armour. Illegal.

Other rules deemed utterly stupid included one that permits a pregnant woman to urinate in a policeman's hat and murdering bow-and-arrow-carrying Scotsmen within the city walls of York, northern England.

A law stating that in Liverpool, only a clerk in a tropical fish store is allowed to be publicly topless, was also ridiculous, said a poll of 3,931 people for UKTV Gold television out Tuesday.

Nearly half of those surveyed admitted to breaking the ban on eating mince pies on Christmas Day, which dates back to the 17th century and was originally designed to outlaw gluttony during the rule of the Puritan Oliver Crowmell.

The laws and other regulations were culled from published research into ancient legislation that has never been repealed although subsequent statutes have rendered them obsolete.

Respondents were given a shortlist and asked to vote.

Most ridiculous British law:

1. It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament (27 percent)

2. It is an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the British monarch upside-down (seven percent)

3. In Liverpool, it is illegal for a woman to be topless except as a clerk in a tropical fish store (six percent)

4. Mince pies cannot be eaten on Christmas Day (five percent)

5. In Scotland, if someone knocks on your door and requires the use of your toilet, you must let them enter (four percent)

6. A pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants, including in a policeman's helmet (four percent)

7. The head of any dead whale found on the British coast automatically becomes the property of the king, and the tail of the queen (3.5 percent)

8. It is illegal to avoid telling the tax man anything you do not want him to know, but legal not to tell him information you do not mind him knowing (three percent)

9. It is illegal to enter the Houses of Parliament in a suit of armour (three percent)

10. In the city of York it is legal to murder a Scotsman within the ancient city walls, but only if he is carrying a bow and arrow (two percent)

7th November 2007 01:10 PM
Highwire Rob Would that be a bow and arrow under your kilt or 'ave you just climbed over the wall to see me?

Funny stuff. But one has to admit that their marijuana (minor) possession laws are much more sensible than ours in the U.S.
[Edited by Highwire Rob]
7th November 2007 02:16 PM
jostorm I would venture as far as saying that the most stupid law in the Uk at this moment in time is the law protecting our "human rights". Not that I am against protecting human rights, quite the opposite, but it has gone too far or been placed in the wrong "pecking order".

Of the top of my head this week alone I can recall five cases where "human rights " threw a spanner into the path of "justice" being acomplished.
The most poignant one was a case in which one African immigrant who had been raping 6 women in the UK,got imprisoned, then escaped bail and raped two more women, was finally caught and brought to justice to be sentenced. When the authorities tried deporting him back to whichever hole he came from, the Law Lords said this deportation would breach his human rights. So he will remain in this country, in prison for some years, his human rights will force someone to grant him bail and he will rape again. Go figure!
I'm for granting people conditional human rights at birth, once you act like a predator or vermin, your human rights should come after those of your victims, and you have only got yourself to blame.... I'm not for capital punishment,far from it, but the law in the UK is a joke, and becoming more and more so, as we become more and more American in our perceived right to compensation for X,Y or Z....
7th November 2007 03:10 PM
jostorm
quote:
Highwire Rob wrote:
Would that be a bow and arrow under your kilt or 'ave you just climbed over the wall to see me?

Funny stuff. But one has to admit that their marijuana (minor) possession laws are much more sensible than ours in the U.S.
[Edited by Highwire Rob]



Sadly, the reclassification of Marihuana is currently under review and Gordon Brown is nothing but a tedious, puritanical Scot, so I am sure weed will be reclassified as a more "dangerous" drug very soon....Oh well, pass the brownies, Brown!....
7th November 2007 03:24 PM
steel driving hammer I live in Champaign Illinois and this is our law...

Champaign - One may not pee in his neighbor's mouth.

http://homepages.nildram.co.uk/~jimella/laws01.htm

At least in England, you got the Stones.
7th November 2007 04:04 PM
jostorm
quote:
steel driving hammer wrote:
I live in Champaign Illinois and this is our law...

Champaign - One may not pee in his neighbor's mouth.

http://homepages.nildram.co.uk/~jimella/laws01.htm

At least in England, you got the Stones.



I'll try and remember that for when I come and visit....

God, they're a LOT funnier than the stupid British laws, I almost wet myself just now....Brilliant read, thanks!

My favourite by far is:
"Alabama: Boogers may not be flicked into the wind"

The whole thing makes you smile. All these laws must come from a time when life was so much simpler. I can imagine an elderly lady picking up her husband at the barber shop and being particularly annoyed at the kangaroo being tied up inside. (Since when do they have kangaroos in Alaska???)So she goes and complains, and, hey presto!, they pass a law to avoid other little old ladies being annoyed....
Those were the days!
8th November 2007 03:18 PM
GhostofBrianJones Have you read about this school in the UK which forbids
classmates from hugging each other? I was reading it the
other day. Sir Michael Wilshaw I think that is right is the
Headmaster. He thinks it will bring on inappropriate sexual
activity. I think the guy is a loose cannon.
8th November 2007 03:36 PM
Blowey Three hamsters per colon is just a crazy, crazy law.

You gotta move to the U.S of A!!!!!

Wh-wh-wh-wh-what?!?!?!

Sure! Here ya go!:

www.questcenteromaha.com
8th November 2007 10:26 PM
JohnDoey
quote:
Blowey wrote:
Three hamsters per colon is just a crazy, crazy law.

You gotta move to the U.S of A!!!!!

Wh-wh-wh-wh-what?!?!?!

Sure! Here ya go!:

www.questcenteromaha.com



You know something son ...............


You are what we call around these parts a reeeeaaaal Lil Macky !!!!!!!!!


9th November 2007 03:34 AM
Shmoey
quote:
Blowey wrote:
Three hamsters per colon is just a crazy, crazy law.

You gotta move to the U.S of A!!!!!

Wh-wh-wh-wh-what?!?!?!

Sure! Here ya go!:

www.questcenteromaha.com



amen to that my Bon Jovian prince
you make Shmoey giddy- tis friday kins!!!!!
Jacky!

9th November 2007 03:54 AM
jostorm Well, someone's got far too much time on their hands. Blowey, or Schmoey or whomever you are:

You will NEVER achieve Joey's status or be even a fraction of the nice gentleman and amusing poster that Joey is. You're simply an impostor, or even two. And you don't even have a fingerlight! Or reside in Omahaha!(Although I hope your Gi-tract is healthier...)

So booooo-hoooooo!
9th November 2007 03:58 AM
Shmoey you make Shmoey cry and shit liquid

ronnnnie!!!
9th November 2007 04:02 AM
jostorm
quote:
GhostofBrianJones wrote:
Have you read about this school in the UK which forbids
classmates from hugging each other? I was reading it the
other day. Sir Michael Wilshaw I think that is right is the
Headmaster. He thinks it will bring on inappropriate sexual
activity. I think the guy is a loose cannon.



Yes, crazy! Give people a little bit of authority and sooner or later their real and very ugly face will shine through.I think the reasoning behind the ban was that the girls were late for every single class, because hugging their friends "hello" and "goodbye" was such a lenghty ritual....
Having a 14 year old daughter myself, I understand where he's coming from, but the logical thing to do would be to treat them like adults, punish them when they're late and let them draw their own conclusions, not "ban hugging", how ridiculous!
9th November 2007 04:13 AM
speedfreakjive i cant believe the one about being topless in Liverpool - surely fiction
9th November 2007 04:42 AM
jostorm
quote:
speedfreakjive wrote:
i cant believe the one about being topless in Liverpool - surely fiction



I can!
You can see all these young girls pushing prams through Liverpool who are mothers at about 15, just imagine at what age they'd get pregnant if there wasn't the topless ban!
9th November 2007 05:15 AM
speedfreakjive
quote:
jostorm wrote:


I can!
You can see all these young girls pushing prams through Liverpool who are mothers at about 15, just imagine at what age they'd get pregnant if there wasn't the topless ban!




haha, true
9th November 2007 08:46 AM
Blowey
quote:
jostorm wrote:
Well, someone's got far too much time on their hands. Blowey, or Schmoey or whomever you are:

You will NEVER achieve Joey's status or be even a fraction of the nice gentleman and amusing poster that Joey is. You're simply an impostor, or even two. And you don't even have a fingerlight! Or reside in Omahaha!(Although I hope your Gi-tract is healthier...)

So booooo-hoooooo!



Good morning jostorm, Rocks Off Member.
9th November 2007 10:15 AM
Shmoey Good morning jostorm
are we weeding today?

******ABRUPT END OF TRANSMISSION, AS GARY COLEMAN WANTS HIS BREAKFAST IN BED TODAY******

ronnnnnnnnie!!!!!!!!!!!!!
10th November 2007 02:36 PM
GhostofBrianJones I think there is a book(s) on stupid laws in the USA like
the ones being posted here. Are there books on laws like
that in the UK? I really like to read stuff like that, it
can be so stupid it is hilarious. And some they forget to
erase from the books which is even more stupid.
10th November 2007 03:09 PM
Ten Thousand Motels "Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law."
10th November 2007 06:28 PM
MrPleasant There is only one law: opposites attract. Try to be very happy, the day after you will be very sad.
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