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glencar wrote:


The Joey is a Phenomenal Writer

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glencar wrote:
I never said that! Well, not since I realized every good line you had was a theft from Maxy.

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gimmekeef wrote:
Heather Mills still looks like Felicity Huffman of Desperate Housewives to me...Mills is the Paris Hilton of rock wives....

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EELPIE wrote:

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mojoman wrote:


anal sex?

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Dr Iff wrote:
Thanks for that HTM. I can't believe Rupert Murdock reign of media terror has now reached the UK.

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Dr Iff wrote:
Thanks for that HTM. I can't believe Rupert Murdock reign of media terror has now reached the UK. He's probably the reason Bush is in the whitehouse now. How one man can wreck so much (politically motivated) misperception in the world($$$). That being said, Heather'll have to give me a more specific explanation for her actions than that. After the case is over perhaps.

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glencar wrote:
Actually, a newshound such as yourself should know that Murdoch is now backing Hillary Clinton.

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Dr Iff wrote:


As a tax dodge. Accidentally perhaps. When you've got that kind of money, you can afford to back every candidate. Why take a chance your party may not get elected? On some levels there really is only one party; money.
So I guess we better elect another republican then...right! I may not like Hillary, but I'll take any democrat over a republican. Nice try. And how would you know I was a newshound? This is getting creepy.
[Edited by Dr Iff]

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Riffhard wrote:
Try talking to a few Brits and Canadians and then tell me again that the US does not have the best system in the world. At least when we need an operation we needn't go on a goddamned six month long waiting list!

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Gazza wrote:


I dont know too many Brits who would prefer the US version myself, and I know quite a few Americans who feel the same.

We DO have private health as well, in case you werent aware and youre exaggerating the waiting list angle. Certainly worked Ok for my dad a month ago when he needed a potentially life saving one.

We've far from the best healthcare system in the world, though, for various reasons. Lots of countries' have a better and more efficient one than any of the 3 you mention above, I would imagine.

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Riffhard wrote:



I was specifically refering to the state run version of healthcare in the UK. Which was why I linked the article. This poor guy got screwed blue by that system. Hillary wants the goverment to take over healthcare for everyone! That is a recipe for disaster. Moreover it is the first of many steps that Hillary plans to socialize the entire medical system in the states. She also wants to socilize the oil industry ala Chavez. All in the name of helping children! Bullshit! She wants the goverment to run our lives! Typical liberal/socialist. I could cite article after article that shows this but, why bother really. I trust that when more people learn what this woman is about she will be thrown overboard. As will her insanely expensive and intrusive healthcare plan.


Riffy

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Ten Thousand Motels wrote:

I was warned early in life by a friend of mine. And he used to laugh when he said it.

"Don't get old, and don't get sick."

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Dr Iff wrote:


As a tax dodge. Accidentally perhaps. When you've got that kind of money, you can afford to back every candidate. Why take a chance your party may not get elected? On some levels there really is only one party; money.
So I guess we better elect another republican then...right! I may not like Hillary, but I'll take any democrat over a republican. Nice try. And how would you know I was a newshound? This is getting creepy. Oh I get it. The liberal slant. Are you at the right website?


[Edited by Dr Iff]Careful, that paranoia might turn into the real thing, someday soon!

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Gazza wrote:



he was right.

To quote the late, great Warren Zevon - "Don't Let Us Get Sick"

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Gazza wrote:



he was right.

To quote the late, great Warren Zevon - "Don't Let Us Get Sick"

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Dr Iff wrote:
LOL! Wealth distribution! Is that what keeps you awake at night? While your government spends 2.5 every fuckin week into a black hole called Iraq. That's over 400$ a week for every man, woman, and baby. But it's obviously not going to them. Where does this sum of money, greater the the GNP of most countries in the world, go to? You tell me. Maybe it's going to people like you to try and influence people like me. I'm certain there's enough to go around. I've lived in countries with national healthcare and guess what? I liked it better. Sure I waited. Like I don't do that now. It's amazing when you take capitalism out of the equation how the treatment changes. Doctors become, well, doctors, instead of businessmen. Warren Buffet, the world's 2nd richest person, pays a little over 16% income tax while his secretary making 60k pays close to 33%? This isn't wealth distribution, it's wealth COLLECTION. And please, I know this is where you start to try to tell me about all the hard work you've done to get to where you are...BULLSHIT! It isn't hard work unless you're making less than 15-20$ an hour for it, that's if you can get it. Clinton may tax capital gains, but that's money people make sitting on their asses. What this country needs is an FDR-style new deal. There's nothing I hate more than a whining rich person.

[Edited by Dr Iff]

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steel driving hammer wrote:
It's a very sad world we live in when Sir Paul McCartney and his wife are facing divorce and all anyone seems to want to do is make jokes about her false leg. Personally, I think it's prosthetic.

News reports have confirmed that Paul McCartney has separated from his wife Heather Mills-McCartney. Mrs. Mills-McCartney is said to be distraught over the split. "He has been my crutch for so long"! She said in an earlier briefing, "I have no idea why this has happened, I'm really stumped"

"She's running around in circles", according to a close friend, "she will need all the support she can get. It's not like it's easy to walk out on a relationship like this"

After his break up with Heather, Paul was asked if he would ever consider going down on one knee again. Paul said he would prefer it if we called her Heather.

It is not known whether a pre-nuptial agreement was signed prior to the marriage. Paul McCartney is one of the richest men in the world, and if an agreement has been signed it is believed that she won't have a leg to stand on.

Rumors abound over the split which have suggested that infidelity may have been the cause. "She's terrible" a source stated, "always trying to get her leg over".

Another source has suggested that her battle with alcoholism was the cause. "Macca couldn't handle it anymore" a friend said, "he would get home at night and find her legless"

Many have attributed this to a problem which started with the present that Paul bought her prior to the wedding. He gave her a new prosthetic leg for Christmas but that was just a stocking-filler.

A miner in Africa has an accident and loses a leg. He says to his mate "I'm fucked, who will want a one legged gold digger?" His mate says "try Paul McCartney"

Finally a poem by Sir Paul McCartney:
I lay upon a grassy bank
My hands were all a quiver
I slowly removed her suspender belt and her leg fell in the river

These jokes are funny but let's spare a thought for Paul please. Now she has left him, he's going to struggle to find another woman who can fill her shoe.


Lastly it has been announced that as part of the divorce deal Paul will be buying Heather a plane, although she will also be getting some Immac for the other leg...

**Update 2: Heather Mills McCartney has been signed up to star in the American version of Strictly Come Dancing. She'll be the one doing the pogo.

Paul bought her a spare wooden leg for Christmas. It wasn't her main present though, just a stocking filler

I think that the reference to her alcoholism may have something to do with the split. Apparently she has a taste for Special Brew and is said to be able to drink 50 cans in a session. 50 Cans !!! Good grief, that woman must have hollow legs!

Its say she is planning to change her name, whats the chance she will pick the name Eileen(I lean gettit?).

What has three legs and lives on a farm? The McCartneys.

It's a legal minefield for Heather Mills(..... Rest assured there's no 'arm in it - editor adds!)

Paul was upset with his wife Heather Mills because her favorite music was Hip Hop.

Poor Paul McCartney, I bet Heather is limping all the way to the bank.

Paul McCartney's divorce could cost him billions and he won't have a leg to stand….er, I mean she won't have a leg to… Divorce can be so complicated.

You would think with the billions of dollars Heather McCartney was going to get from Paul she would be living it up, but in fact she's not...... The other day reporters saw her eating at IHOP.

Q: What was Paul McCartney and Heather Mills favourite 70's Andy Fairweather-Low song?
A: Wide-eyed and Legless !

**Update from the Viz Site: I think Sir Paul McCartney should try to put his current predicament into perspective. In olden days, if you were unfortunate enough to be robbed by an omniped, it would almost certainly be a pirate. At least he's going to come out of this alive. - Stella Matlock

Ok and now for the olde Linda McCartney jokes:
Q: What do call a dog with Wings ? A: Linda McCartney.
Q: What do vegetarian worms eat?A: Linda McCartney..
What did Paul croon to Linda at the gravesite?The Magical Mystery Maggot Tour (is coming to take you away).What else did Paul sing?Yesterday (now all my problems are 6 feet away-I will remember all that clay) .What can be said about Linda McCartney?She kept abreast of current events.God: 'Linda, what's the matter?'Linda: 'Why has Princess Di got a halo and I haven't? 'God: 'That isn't a halo -- it's a steering wheel.'

New KFC product...portion of half-eaten wings.
When Linda died, Paul announced to the kids - 'Well I'm afraid your mum has passed away but to look on the bright side, we're having steak for tea'.

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Dr Iff wrote:
LOL! Wealth distribution! Is that what keeps you awake at night? While your government spends 2.5 every fuckin week into a black hole called Iraq. That's over 400$ a week for every man, woman, and baby. But it's obviously not going to them. Where does this sum of money, greater the the GNP of most countries in the world, go to? You tell me. Maybe it's going to people like you to try and influence people like me. I'm certain there's enough to go around. I've lived in countries with national healthcare and guess what? I liked it better. Sure I waited. Like I don't do that now. It's amazing when you take capitalism out of the equation how the treatment changes. Doctors become, well, doctors, instead of businessmen. Warren Buffet, the world's 2nd richest person, pays a little over 16% income tax while his secretary making 60k pays close to 33%? This isn't wealth distribution, it's wealth COLLECTION. And please, I know this is where you start to try to tell me about all the hard work you've done to get to where you are...BULLSHIT! It isn't hard work unless you're making less than 15-20$ an hour for it, that's if you can get it. Clinton may tax capital gains, but that's money people make sitting on their asses. What this country needs is an FDR-style new deal. There's nothing I hate more than a whining rich person.

[Edited by Dr Iff]

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