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Topic: nsc .. Men Rules from Australia(may be offensive to gays, those with no sense of humour and to Marty Return to archive
October 31st, 2005 04:12 AM
Daethgod Reg Reagan from the footy show has some interesting thoughts on men:
1. If you are over 30 and you have a washboard stomach, you're gay. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and rather you've been sucking-off the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet.

2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaayming Fag. A cat is like a dog, but Gay: it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog..."Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here!" Now think about how you call a cat..."Bun-bun,come to daddy, snookums!"
Jeeezus, you're the poster boy for GAY.

3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby-dummies, or any such nonsense, rest assured,
you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks bar-b-q ribs, crab-claws, raw oysters, craw-fish
guts, pickled pigs feet, or titties. Anything else and you are in training to suck El-Dicko and
undeniably a Fag.

4. If you refuse to have a shit in a public toilet or piss in a parking lot, you're in a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his toilet; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.

5. If you drink decaf coffee with skim milk, you like a high hard one in the poop-chute. Coffee
is to be had strong, black (or with thick, wholesome milk) and full-aroma. A pussy-eating man
will never be heard ordering a "Decaf Cafe Latte with Skim" and he will never, ever know what artificial sweetener tastes like. If you've had NutraSweet in your mouth, you've had a dick in there too.

6. If you know more than six names of colours or four different types of dessert, you might as well be handing out a free pass to your arse. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap as well as all the names of all the players in the NRL, Super
12 Rugby, Cricket, PGA, NBL, and Supercar series. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a "fresier" is, you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than
denim, you are faggadocious!

7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget're hungry for man sausage. A man
only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at slow-arse Volvo drivers or to cut the mother***ker off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat his
hamburger, hold his beer, or, if he's a wog, talk on his mobile phone.

8. If you enjoy romantic comedies or French films, mon-frere, vous sonnez le Gay, oui? The only time it is acceptable to watch one of those is with a woman who knows how to reward her man. Watching any of the above films by yourself or with another man is likely to result in
SHC (spontaneous homosexual combustion), which is what happens to fags when they flame out too quickly. So follow the rules and beware. Or keep that sh*t to yourself, you flamming faggot!

9. If your name is Marty, Brent, Josh or Nat then stop living in denial. You're a dung punching arse bandit from way back and everyone knows it.
October 31st, 2005 05:04 AM
corgi37 Oh Daeth, that is Soooooooo Sydney. Did you get my sms? Egon is in town.
October 31st, 2005 06:36 AM
Daethgod yer i know its Sydney, some dude emailed it to me, but i pissed meself

egon ?
nah i didnt get your sms..

now when are these Stones boys gonna announce an Oz tour ???

u know something dont ya ...
ya holding out ...??


October 31st, 2005 06:55 AM
Jumacfly LOL!!!
french films !!
is it me Marty??
October 31st, 2005 07:46 AM
corgi37 wrote:
Soooooooo Sydney

and the winner is.......Siderney (Sydney)
October 31st, 2005 02:41 PM
rocker Gawd that is funny! Im so glad that this board doesnt censor this stuff. A breath of fresh after the constant barragment from the homsexual agenda activists.

P.S. i want those two chicks on Exile's posts. Those ta ta tongues are so delectiable, their so respectable
November 1st, 2005 06:17 AM
corgi37 As Sgt Schultz would say: "I know nothing!"

And i dont.

And i am getting concerned. Meeting up with Egon tomorrow hopefully. Sounded cool on the phone. Then again, voices can be deceiving. If i never post again - avenge me!!!!!
November 1st, 2005 10:26 AM
Jumping Jack Josh?
November 1st, 2005 11:01 AM
Monkey Woman ROTFLMAO! Aussie men sound like a bunch of er, gay obsessed dudes!
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