Elton John Admits To Ownership of Female Child Pornography
Written by Jalapenoman
Story written: 27 September 2007
Elton John admitted ownership of a photograph of two naked girls that is considered pornographic by British authorities. "It's art!" said the musician when asked about the picture. "It is from the collection by award winning photographer Nan Goldin and is titled Klara and Edda Belly Dancing."
Authorities, however, beg to differ. This is not the first time one of this artists work has been considered pornographic and has been removed from a gallery. In fact, it was the gallery (the Baltic Center for Contemporary Art) that notified the police about the picture.
When told that Elton John possessed child pornography, long time rival Keith Richards was surprised. "What? Has the pansy finally decided that he likes girls? Even liking little girls is better than his tastes for the boys. Were the girls in the picture blondes?" (the last was obviously a reference to Richards' remarks a few years ago about John's writing songs about only dead blondes: Marilyn Monroe and Princess Diana.)
Another group that was shocked by the news was the Federation of Anglo Gays (F.A.G.). Group spokesman Bruce Pinkston was "personally appalled to hear this. I just don't know if we want to keep this man as our honorary chairman and poster boy any longer. First he quits wearing the weird hats and sunglasses, and now he starts putting pictures of naked girls up on his walls. Is he a homo or a hetero? Don't give me any of this bi-sexual crap!"
Upon hearing the news, Michael Jackson asked if the artist had any pictures of little boys available.
27th September 2007 01:10 PM
pdog
27th September 2007 01:43 PM
gimmekeef
More tabloid rubbish....as if Keith would comment....
27th September 2007 02:30 PM
mrhipfl
quote:gimmekeef wrote:
More tabloid rubbish....as if Keith would comment....
pssst, it's a joke news article.
27th September 2007 03:03 PM
glencar
Why would EJ have girl porn?
27th September 2007 03:22 PM
Maxlugar
The measuring cups are down below.
27th September 2007 03:25 PM
pdog
quote:glencar wrote:
Why would EJ have girl porn?
Naked artwork isn't porn... Is LZ's concert movie kiddie porn? You see Plants kids naked... WTF? I know the difference between art and porn...
I really hope this isn't a real attack or accusation, even if it is Elton John...
This is like covering up the boobs on a statue...
27th September 2007 04:00 PM
oldkr
theres nothing vaguely pornographic about the image - just an over-zealous cop and a randy journlist making waves all to promote an art show!
OLDKR
27th September 2007 04:09 PM
glencar
quote:pdog wrote:
Naked artwork isn't porn... Is LZ's concert movie kiddie porn? You see Plants kids naked... WTF? I know the difference between art and porn...
I really hope this isn't a real attack or accusation, even if it is Elton John...
This is like covering up the boobs on a statue...
I haven't seen the images yet. No matter what, EJ is definitely creepy. I'll never forgive him for his anti-KR remarks. Sassy yes but so off the mark@!
27th September 2007 04:29 PM
oldkr
well keith does move somewhat like a crippled spider on stage... to be fair, and elton does write songs about dead blondes...to be fair
OLDKR
27th September 2007 04:31 PM
glencar
Yes, now he does. But when EJ said it, Keef still could move. It showed blatant ignorance of howe a guitar player should stand. And writing songs about dead blondes would have been more acceptable if the songs weren't so gd maudlin! To be fair..
27th September 2007 05:30 PM
Gazza
quote:glencar wrote:
I haven't seen the images yet. No matter what, EJ is definitely creepy. I'll never forgive him for his anti-KR remarks. Sassy yes but so off the mark@!
Keith started it, in all fairness!
27th September 2007 05:30 PM
glencar
quote:Gazza wrote:
Keith started it, in all fairness!
Really? I don't remember.
27th September 2007 05:31 PM
Gazza
quote:glencar wrote:
Yes, now he does. But when EJ said it, Keef still could move. It showed blatant ignorance of howe a guitar player should stand. And writing songs about dead blondes would have been more acceptable if the songs weren't so gd maudlin! To be fair..
Keith was also wrong, to be fair. Elton only wrote the music to those dead blondes songs. Bernie Taupin wrote the lyrics.
27th September 2007 05:35 PM
Gazza
quote:glencar wrote:
Really? I don't remember.
he did, yeah. I think it was an interview in Q around the time BTB came out (which would be the right timeline as Princess Di had died a few weeks earlier). Elton responded with the 'arthritic monkey' line, saying how he admired Jagger but that the Stones should have kicked Keith out years ago.
I hope he wasnt suggesting that Keith's alleged incompetence was drug-inspired. A bit rich coming from a man who at the height of his coke haze, found the wind outside his hotel a bit too strong for his liking and phoned his management asking if they could "do something about it".....
27th September 2007 05:40 PM
glencar
Well, to be fair, the Four Seasons does say that they'll do anything for their guests!
27th September 2007 05:41 PM
pdog
quote:Gazza wrote:
found the wind outside his hotel a bit too strong for his liking
So.. the inspiration for candle in the wind?
27th September 2007 05:45 PM
Gazza
quote:glencar wrote:
Well, to be fair, the Four Seasons does say that they'll do anything for their guests!
LOL..no it was HIS management, not the hotel's management.
27th September 2007 10:05 PM
oldkr
quote:Gazza wrote:
Keith was also wrong, to be fair. Elton only wrote the music to those dead blondes songs. Bernie Taupin wrote the lyrics.
Fair point!
OLDKR
27th September 2007 10:20 PM
guitarman53
I like some of Elton John's music, but I never liked him as a personality in a rock performer, he doesn't even look like a rock performer if you go by the original concept as a rebel, tall & thin, especially thin, rock 'N' Roll originally was rebel music, Elton John looks like he works in a fish & Chips shop, when he first came out in the 70's, there were rock artists who really looked like rock stars, thin, not a short overweight piano Player, especially along side Bowie/Alice Cooper/Stones, etc, but his music was great, but he just never looked like a rock rebel, the same could be said about Phil Collins.
He's always a queen who shouts his (her) mouth of, Bowie is another rock artist who didn't like him, called him the Liberace of Rock.
He should get in touch with Pete Townsend as to how to deal with all this press, he went through the same thing, doing research on child molestation, & being accused of it.
27th September 2007 10:30 PM
Riffhard
quote:Maxlugar wrote:
The measuring cups are down below.
Quite possibly the funniest video I have ever seen in my life! I have watched it three times in a row, and I have laughed harder every time!
He should get in touch with Pete Townsend as to how to deal with all this press, he went through the same thing, doing research on child molestation, & being accused of it.
Yeah, BUT!!! Elton is gay and Pete Isn't... Oh wait a minute, Nevermind!
28th September 2007 12:30 AM
sirmoonie
Some posters were born faggitized, others had their faggitude thrust upon them. I learned that from the jean 6.
28th September 2007 12:30 AM
guitarman53
quote:pdog wrote:
Yeah, BUT!!! Elton is gay and Pete Isn't... Oh wait a minute, Nevermind!
comical, very funny, I really don't think Townsend is gay, but the way you worded it, is very comical.
28th September 2007 12:32 AM
sirmoonie
I mean the Jena 6. Them black guys with the stuff. All up in.
28th September 2007 01:13 AM
mojoman
eltons got pics of keith naked?
28th September 2007 01:14 AM
mojoman
wait.........this belongs under the anal sex thread!!!
28th September 2007 08:18 AM
Maxlugar
quote:Riffhard wrote:
Quite possibly the funniest video I have ever seen in my life! I have watched it three times in a row, and I have laughed harder every time!
quote:guitarman53 wrote:
I like some of Elton John's music, but I never liked him as a personality in a rock performer, he doesn't even look like a rock performer if you go by the original concept as a rebel, tall & thin, especially thin, rock 'N' Roll originally was rebel music,
erm..well you could make the same argument that being in your 60's, playing corporate gigs and charging a week's salary for a concert ticket isnt exactly 'rock n roll' or 'rebel music' either....
[Edited by Gazza]
29th September 2007 03:47 PM
gimmekeef
Hey nothing wrong with being gay..My issue with Reggie is he's a flaming fag....Anyone who would wear that Donald Duck get up deserves anything he gets....
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