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Topic: Elton John auctioning all his stuff Return to archive Page: 1 2
09-24-03 04:19 PM
gypsy Just found this on peoplenews.com:

Celebrities: they are just not normal. Evidence A: Elton John cannot sleep unless he has personally trimmed the wicks of every candle in his house. And with the amount of candles Elton must have in his mansion, this ritual must take some time. (Daily Mail)
09-24-03 04:20 PM
Joey " My dad trains boxers. "

What's his favorite fight ..........Zaire' '74 or Manilla ' 75 ???????????????????????????

What year did he get out of the 'Nam ??????????

Am I still in his will ??????????

Developing ......................like a rock !

The Joe Sea Scrolls !
09-24-03 04:28 PM
gypsy I think Zaire '75. I'll have to ask him.
He was in Vietnam in '65 and '66.
09-24-03 04:28 PM
steel driving hammer I can't sleep until Letterman finishes monologue.

That George W. Bush joke thats not really a joke part is the best!
09-24-03 04:38 PM
Joey " He was in Vietnam in '65 and '66.
"

Me too ........................82nd Bravo Company ?!?!?!?!?!

DaNang ?!?!?!?!?!

Saigon ?!?!?!?!?!

Parvo ?!?!?!?!?!?
09-24-03 04:47 PM
sirmoonie Quick! First one to post a picture of ole Elt in the donald duck suit, gets a big coochie smoochie!
09-24-03 05:03 PM
mac_daddy pucker up moonie !!!

09-24-03 05:09 PM
sirmoonie Smoooooooocccchhhhhhhhhhh!

Actually, I can only see the Courtney Love one. The others have that damn "X".
09-24-03 05:10 PM
sirmoonie Courtney doesn't look very good in duck.
09-24-03 05:20 PM
mac_daddy well hit this page and scroll down, and you will find all the pics I tried to post. the page came up when I ran "elton + donald duck" through google. I have no idea what the text of the page says, and I couldn't care less. The pictures made me laugh, though...
09-24-03 05:25 PM
mac_daddy here's the courtney pic...


I would rather stay home and pick lint from my belly button than attend this show.
09-24-03 05:46 PM
mac_daddy JACKASS OF THE MONTH

ELTON JOHN

Can a man who has donated $20 million of his own money to benefit AIDS research really be the Jackass of the Month? Can 30 million Elton John fans really be wrong? Can the second biggest-selling artist of all-time really suck? In a word - yeah.

Frickin' Elton John. Granted, you can't take anything away from Elton John in the early seventies - "Rocket Man," "Levon," "Someone Saved My Life Tonight" - all well and good. At one stage between 1972 and 1975 he had seven consecutive number one albums, all of which rest comfortably as classics. But somewhere down the line, he became a narcissistic, self-absorbed, soft-rock hit machine. His voice has dropped an octave and he gives the impression that nothing is beneath him. Old Elton will do anything for cash, and you would too if you spent $400,000 a week on flowers and clothes. Objectively speaking, he is celebrating his twenty-fifth anniversary of completely sucking. This is a man who has sung duets with the Backstreet Boys, Shania Twain, RuPaul, The Spice Girls, and Rosie O'Donnell - and that's just in the last two years. Name a good Elton John song since 1975. Come on, you can do it. Hard, isn't it? That's because - hello! - they're aren't any.

Certified as the second best-selling solo artist in U.S. recording history behind only Garth Brooks, and one of the world's richest rock stars, with an estimated fortune of over $250 million, Elton had to obtain an emergency $40 million loan as the result of his $400,000-a-week credit card habit. How does one spend four hundred large every week? Here's how Elton does it:

* Two full-time florists instructed to fill his two English homes with as many as 220 flower arrangements a week.
* Mind-blowing spending sprees of up to $870,000 in a single day.
* $2.3 million apartment in Atlanta - in addition to his $6.3 million, 37-acre estate in England, plus other residences.
* Catering bill of $200,000 for his 50th birthday party.
* Fabulous designer rug collection (that's rug as in "wig," not as in "Persian.")
* A fleet of luxury cars with an annual maintenance cost of $429,000. Elton rarely drives, but that doesn't mean he shouldn't have over 20 cars, including four Bentleys, an Aston Martin DB7, a Rolls-Royce Corniche and a Jaguar XJ220 worth more than $600,000.
* $412,000 Versace shopping excursion.
* $545,000 trip to the Cartier jewelry store.
* World-class collection of art, furniture, lamps, eyeglasses and jukeboxes.

What a complete jackass. But take a closer look at Elton's career and judge for yourself:

2000. After being honored at the Grammy Awards with a lifetime achievement award, Elton is quoted backstage as saying, "It's kind of bullshit, this show, isn't it?" Elton had every right to complain, having just completed a searing version of "Philadelphia Freedom" with the Backstreet Boys. Elton also coyly insinuated that he had slept with all of the boy bands by saying, "I've slept with all the boy bands." Fellow lamo piano man Billy Joel was even surprised at the prima donna's reaction. "Elton seemed to have an agenda, and frankly, it surprised me," Joel said. He asked Elton to explain his actions and Elton inexplicably responded by making Joel feel his pacemaker. Joel said, "He made me feel his pacemaker. He's got a pacemaker in his chest. So I felt it, and I said, 'Okay, I came here for Elton.' Now I can't wait to go back to New York."

2000. Elton disses United Nations Secretary-General Kofi Annan Annan by canceling an appearance at the U.N. where the singer was to be dubbed a "messenger of peace." How could Elton turn down an opportunity to be named a "messenger of peace," an honor bestowed on such luminaries as Magic Johnson? I'll tell you how - he cancels at the last minute and has his publicist issue a statement citing Elton's inability to devote "sufficient time to honor this commitment in the proper manner and give it the support that it deserves." Disgruntled U.N. employees were heard slandering Elton as the "messenger of crap" and the "ambassador of ass."

2000. Elton has another episode 15 minutes into a preview performance of "Aida," the Broadway musical that he had scored. Elton was understandably angry beyond belief because of the rhythmic dance music used in some of his songs. "They didn't listen to what I had to say …" John told Good Morning America, "and I wrote the music and it's my bloody name on the billboard, and I don't want to be associated with something I did not write." After hearing the interpretation of several of his songs containing the dreaded "techno-music" the month before, Elton said he told producers, "'I don't like it. I didn't write it, and you know, it's my music in there, and please change it." But did they change it? No, they didn't. You know what happens when you don't listen to Elton, don't you? Well, he and his entourage cause a scene, that's what. Members of the audience said Elton got up and left the Palace Theatre with four young men, climbing over people to get out. "I was so incensed," he said. "And I just walked out, I walked calmly out, and I smiled on my way out and I got out in the street and went, 'Rrrrhhh.'" Everyone knows that when Elton goes "Rrrrhhh", he really means business.

1999. While performing at a 10th birthday bash for gay rights group Stonewall, Elton finds himself in hot water when his act includes a raunchy skit featuring six male dancers dressed up as boy scouts performing a striptease. While John sang the Pet Shop Boys' song "It's a Sin" on the stage of London's Royal Albert Hall, the dancers took off their scout uniforms and caps, eventually stripping down to their shorts. According to the BBC, the dancers also knelt on the floor, clutching their groins. "We are disappointed a star of Elton John's caliber participated in something that was so lacking in taste," a spokesman for the Scout Association told Reuters in reference to a routine performed by Sir Elton A spokesman for the singer said the skit was "a bit of high camp in the great British tradition of comedy like Benny Hill. It was meant to be a bit of fun for an appropriate audience."

1999. As defined by VH1, the term "diva" applies to any female singer who can be identified simply by her first name. Elton was named "honorary male diva" at the VH1 1999 Divas Live concert affording him the opportunity to perform with Cher, Whitney, Tina, and Brandy. Honorary male diva - for the love of God.

1997. Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, "Candle in the Wind" returns AGAIN! There have been a lot of bad songs in the annals of rock and roll history, but how many of them have been worldwide hits three different times spanning three decades? How about none. Housewives across the globe weep hysterically as Elton croons "Candle In The Wind" at Princess Diana's funeral, starting a phenomenon that ends with the single being released as a charity record. It rapidly became the biggest-selling single of all time, overtaking Bing Crosby's "White Christmas." Not coincidentally, it is also named the single Worst Song of the Rock and Roll Era as seen by Mollen Magazine.

1997. Elton throws himself a 50th birthday bash to the tune of $200,0000 - including $80,000 on his outfit alone. He arrived on a golden throne in the back of a 30-foot truck decked out in red velvet, wearing a 3 1/2-foot-high silver-spangled wig, silver brocade coat and breeches, and a 15-foot ostrich feather train, toted by two half-dressed man-servants. The party featured, among other things, a grand piano made of caviar.


Mollen's 20 Worst Songs of the Rock and Roll Era

1. Elton John, Candle In The Wind, Princess Di Version 1988
2. Elton John, Candle In The Wind, Live Version 1997
3. Elton John, Candle In The Wind, Original Version 1973
4. Bryan Adams, Have You Ever Loved a Woman 1995
5. Rod Stewart, Love Touch, 1985
6. Elton John, Can You Feel The Love Tonight 1994
7. Elton John, Bennie And The Jets 1974
8. Elton John with Dionne & Friends, That's What Friends Are For 1986
9. Elton John, The One 1992
10. Elton John, Blue Eyes 1982
11. Billy Joel, Downeaster Alexa, 1987
12. Elton John, Philadelphia Freedom 1975
13. Elton John, Club At The End Of The Street 1990
14. Elton John, I Don't Wanna Go On With You Like That 1988
15. Elton John, Little Jeannie 1980
16. Elton John, Nikita 1986
17. Elton John with RuPaul, Don't Go Breaking My Heart 1994
18. Elton John, The Bitch Is Back 1974
19. Paul McCartney, Spies Like Us, 1986
20. Elton John with Rosie O'Donnell, White Christmas 1999

1997. Elton gets into a public snit with Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards. It appears that Keith told an interviewer that Elton's Vegas-style stage antics and "songs for dead blondes" were irritating him. Although Keith was merely putting into words what millions of music lovers felt in their hearts, Elton was none too pleased to hear of it. A hysterical Elton retorted, "I just think he's an asshole, and I have for a long time." John went on to declare that the Stones should have dropped Richards like a bad habit "10, 15 years ago ... because he's held them back. He's so pathetic, poor thing. It's like a monkey with arthritis, trying to go onstage and look young."

1994. Elton releases his Duets album, featuring such legendary performers as RuPaul, who shares the mike with Elton on their version of "Don't Go Breaking My Heart" - #17 on Mollen's list of the 20 Worst Songs of the Rock and Roll Era.

1994. Elton begins lucrative second career as a cartoon songwriter by releasing the putrid "Can You Feel The Love Tonight" (#6 on Mollen's list of the 20 Worst Songs of the Rock and Roll Era) for Disney's Lion King soundtrack.

1992. How can a career renaissance be spurred by a song as bad as "The One," #9 on Mollen's list of the 20 Worst Songs of the Rock and Roll Era?

1990. Releases "Club At The End Of The Street," #13 on Mollen's list of the 20 Worst Songs of the Rock and Roll Era, which made "I Don't Wanna Go On With You Like That" sound like "Hey Jude" by comparison.

1989. Elton throws a 40th birthday bash for his manager, John Reid, and 300 close friends. Guests were greeted by a six-foot-high ice sculpture carved to resemble Reid's Scottish family crest, surrounded by a bounty of shrimp and oysters on the half shell. A buffet dinner was served in the backyard garden, where the Scottish games continued with a brace of bagpipers presenting the blindfolded Reid with an oversize cake topped with a living mannequin dressed in a kilt.

1988. A very bad year indeed, as Elton inflicts both a live and a studio album on an unsuspecting public. The lamely titled "Reg Strikes Back" features the insufferable "I Don't Wanna Go On With You Like That," #14 on Mollen's list of the 20 Worst Songs of the Rock and Roll Era.

1988. "Candle In The Wind" rears its ugly head again when Elton, dressed as Mozart, complete with powdered wig and tails, releases the even more irritating live version, which bolts to #2 on Mollen's list of the 20 Worst Songs of the Rock and Roll Era.

1987. Quoted as saying, "I still want to run with the George Michaels, the Bon Jovis, the Def Leppards." 1986. Releases "Nikita," #16 on Mollen's list of the 20 Worst Songs of the Rock and Roll Era. "Oh, Nikita, is it cold?" Elton's positively painful cold war love song.

1986. Teaming with future Psychic Friend's Network spokeswoman Dionne Warwick, "I Just Called to Say I Love You"-era Stevie Wonder, and Gladys Knight, releases "That's What Friends Are For," #8 on Mollen's list of the 20 Worst Songs of the Rock and Roll Era.

1985. Performs at Wham!'s farewell concert. Enough said.

1984. Inexplicably marries Renate Blauel - a woman. ''We are trying for children,'' Elton says. ''It just hasn't happened yet. I simply want to be a family man - I was an only child, and I didn't like that very much. Please God that we can have one.''

1982. Releases "Blue Eyes," #10 on Mollen's list of the 20 Worst Songs of the Rock and Roll Era. "Blue Eyes. Baby's got blue eyes." Mollen Magazine is offering a $100,000 reward* to any reader who can offer proof that someone they know actually likes this song. * $100,000 reward not valid in the continental United States, Hawaii, Alaska or any foreign country.

1980. Releases "Little Jeannie," #15 on Mollen's list of the 20 Worst Songs of the Rock and Roll Era. Something about this song reeks of pedophilia. "I want you to be my acrobat. I want you to my lover. Who would treat you cruel? Little Jeannie, I'm so in love with you." Yikes.

1977. Elton commits the biggest crime of his career by declaring his retirement from music, only to continue to recording and performing. 1975. Releases "Philadelphia Freedom," #12 on Mollen's list of the 20 Worst Songs of the Rock and Roll Era. Do I hate this song? Yes, I do!

1974. Releases "Bennie And The Jets," #7 on Mollen's list of the 20 Worst Songs of the Rock and Roll Era. Bennie! Bennie! Bennie! Bennie and the Jets! Hey, Elton, B-B-B-Blow me. God, does this song suck. What the hell is it about? Not that good rock songs need to be about anything, but B-B-B-B-Bennie and the Jets? Later, Elton insists on performing song dressed in a giant Donald Duck suit.

1973. Releases the original version of "Candle In The Wind," #3 on Mollen's list of the 20 Worst Songs of the Rock and Roll Era. Intended to be an homage to Marilyn Monroe, this tuneless dirge would come back to haunt the listening public in the decades to come. We should have seen it coming and tried to stop it then. By the time Princess Diana died, it was too late.

Your talent burned out long before your career ever did, pal.

Send your comments to: [email protected]

http://www.mollen.net/eltonjohnjackass3.htm
09-24-03 06:06 PM
steel driving hammer I'd bet Keith would sure get a kick out of that Mac!
09-24-03 06:40 PM
Prodigal Son Though I disagree that Philadelphia Freedom, Bennie and the Jets and The Bitch is Back are awful songs, I think he's right. Elton has been nothing short of useless and a flaming head case for the last 25 years. Remember, this man had horrible cocaine and alcohol addicitons. He had to go to the only centre in the world for drug, alcohol and bulemia rehab! That'll fuck you up for life. But nonetheless, Elton admittedly lives up to the title "The Bitch is Back."
Although he didn't write this lyric it can apply nowadays:
"I can bitch, I can bitch cause I'm better than you/It's the way that I move/The things that I do."
[Edited by Prodigal Son]
09-24-03 07:21 PM
sirmoonie I'm confused. Is this good or bad? Where would Ashcroft stand on this?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/3136808.stm

Hmmmmmm.....

Who are the real Americans here?

Hmmmmm.....

Hmmmmmmm?

Hmmmmmmm....
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