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| Sir Stonesalot |
I've had a case of the Blahs lately. Nasty weather, music heroes dying, my gov't pissing on the Constitution, my Eagles and Lions sucking like Hoovermatics, and other personal things that I won't get into here...it's just weighing me down. The Blahs. I hate 'em.
So at times like these I turn to things that always cheer me up. Music. Friends.
So I decided to do a salute to people who died. I put together a compilation featuring dead people. I've listened to it a few times, and it's really cathartic. It's also very strange. While I was putting this together, I found myself thinking about several Rocks Off regulars. I was picking songs with particular people here in mind. I don't know why that happened, it just did.
I call this compilation "The 7th Sense-I Hear Dead People". It's a take off of the movie "The Sixth Sense"...you know, I see dead people. Well, I can't see dead people, but thank Ganesh I can still hear them.
Here's the song list:
1. 20th Century Boy-Marc Bolan(For Nanky)
2. A Certain Girl-Warren Zevon(For Gazza)
3. Breed-Nirvana(For everyone that said he didn't deserve to be on that best guitarist list)
4. Crazy-Patsy Cline(For Joey)
5. Crazy Baldhead-Bob Marley(For Marko)
6. Instant Karma-John Lennon(For JB)
7. In Dreams-Roy Orbison(For Jaxx)
8. I Wanna Be Loved-Johnny Thunders(For Parmeda)
9. Cry Cry Cry-Johnny Cash(For Motherbaby)
10. Johnny Appleseed-Joe Strummer & The Mescaleros(For Cardinal Fang)
11. Johnny B Goode-Peter Tosh(For MaxLugar)
12. Let's Get It On-Marvine Gaye(For Gypsy, Luxy, Angiegirl, and all the rest of our Rocks Off hotties)
13. Little Sister(For Nasty Habits & SIA)
14. Lover Man-Billie Holliday(For FPM)
15. Move It On Over-Hank Williams(For Fiji Joe)
16. Witchcraft-Frank Sinatra(For Factory Girl)
17. My Way-Sid Vicious(For Martha My Dear)
18. Voodoo Child(Slight Return)-Jimi Hendrix(For Gerardo, duh.)
19. Santeria-Sublime(For SirMoonie)
20. Sheena Is A Punk Rocker-The Ramones(For Boomy)
21. True Love Ways-Buddy Holly(For Lady Jane)
22. The House Is Rockin'-Stevie Ray Vaughn(For Martha)
23. People Who Died-Jim Carroll Band(For all the artists that appear on this disc. Yeah, I know Jim Carroll ain't dead, but this song is just too appropos to leave off.)
If you didn't get a song dedicated to you...please don't be offended. It doesn't mean I don't like you or anything. To be honest, I don't know why I thought of some of the people that I thought of.
By now, I'm sure you know what is coming next. The contest. Since I got the blahs, you all can help me get out of 'em. The contest is this...make me laugh. A joke, a funny anecdote, a funny picture...whatever. If you make me laugh, you get the disc.
I'll leave this contest open till high noon eastern time on Monday.
Good luck, have fun, and thanks for being my therapist. |
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| VoodooChileInWOnderl |
Hey Marc that's the coolest idea, probably the list can be improved, even by you if you make it now, I know everything we do can be better later LOL
I'm laughing about the one for Marko  and I'm deeply indebted by adding Voodoo Child for me, that's cool bro, one of my fantasies is playing Voodoo Chile and Voodoo Child (slight return) on the b-stage with ronnie playing a 5 strings-bass, Charlie wild on drums and me playing both songs
I just want to add track 24 for the great and cool Cardinal Fang... "I'm the slime" or "Dinah-moe-humm" by Frank Zappa |
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| LadyJane |
Stonesy....you've brought a huge smile to my face!!
I'm a hopeless romantic and Buddy Holly's True Love Ways is a favorite. I feel like we should meet at the Starlight Ballroom for an evening of dancing ala Fred and Ginger.
Sorry about your blah's...I'm afraid I've had them also. I don't know if I can make you laugh...but hopefully knowing that you made me feel better will make you smile.
Thanks for thinking of me! I'm touched!! 
LadyJ.
PS....Great selection of tunes!!!
PPS....Hubby is on his way out the door with a shotgun. Please be careful...
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| VoodooChileInWOnderl |
Track 24 of course also for Ruby Friday from Germany!!! |
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| Sir Stonesalot |
Well LJ, hubby needs to understand that I wear bulletproof armour, LOL!
You know, I can't explain why I thought of you when I put that song on there. I just KNEW you liked that song. Like I said, this is a bit strange how this happened.
Gerardo...I put Johnny Appleseed on there for Fang because he got me that CD, autographed no less. I can't listen to Joe Strummer without thinking of THE Cardinal Fang. |
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| VoodooChileInWOnderl |
Well... the song "I'm the slime" also fits with Maxlugar haha
I am gross and perverted
I'm obsessed 'n deranged
I have existed for years
But very little had changed
I am the tool of the Government
And industry too
For I am destined to rule
And regulate you
I may be vile and pernicious
But you can't look away
I make you think I'm delicious
With the stuff that I say
I am the best you can get
Have you guessed me yet?
I am the slime oozin' out
From your TV set
You will obey me while I lead you
And eat the garbage that I feed you
Until the day that we don't need you
Don't go for help...no one will heed you
Your mind is totally controlled
It has been stuffed into my mold
And you will do as you are told
Until the rights to you are sold
That's right, folks.. Don't touch that dial
Well, I am the slime from your video
Oozin' along on your livingroom floor
I am the slime from your video
Can't stop the slime, people, lookit me go |
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| VoodooChileInWOnderl |
That's great and I'm a Mezcalero too!! |
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| KeepRigid |
30 years ago around this time, some well-meaning friends were trying to light up Gram Parsons in the desert. Now why ain't he on this thing? |
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| VoodooChileInWOnderl |
Am I the winner with this one... hehe I'm seeing you... you're laughing!!!
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| sirmoonie |
You are too cool sometimes, El Stoney.
This joke should make you laugh: The President of the United States is asking FRANCE for help in Iraq! Who writes this stuff, I swears I do not know. |
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| Factory Girl |
Hey Sir Stonesalot, I love you!! Mr. Frank Sinatra was a class act to end all...class acts.
My Joke:
Lady puts an ad in the newspapers trying to meet a guy.
A few days later- a Guy rings her doorbell. This guy has no arms or legs.
The lady says to this guy-"How do you meet my criteria?"
Guy responds-" I don't have any arms- I won't beat you.
I don't have any legs-I won't run away."
Lady says-"What abou the third criteria? Are you good in the sack?"
Guy- "how do you think I rang the doorbell???" |
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| VoodooChileInWOnderl |
LOL that's the same guy of this joke, the cruelest joke I'v ever heard
Kids Hey Mrs. Smith... Would you let your son play with us???
Mrs. SmithHey Kids... don't be cruel, you know my son has no arms and has no legs
KidsYes, we know it Mrs. Smith. but we need someone for a third base
Laugh track please |
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| Sir Stonesalot |
Keep...
There's lots of dead people...probably enough for a volume 2.
If I were a betting man I's say that Mr. Parsons would certainly fit in well with dead people like, John Lee Hooker, Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison, Muddy Waters, Howlin' Wolf, and others.
Yes yes? |
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| steel driving hammer |
Great list!
Hope you get well soon!
I like this sort of stuff. There should be a board game to buy w/ all of these, but with some true, some not true then you try and guess which are true!
These are all true....
1) Butterflies taste with their feet.
2) A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
3) In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all of the world's
nuclear weapons combined.
4) On average people fear spiders more than they do death.
5) Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.
6) Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.
7) It's possible to lead a cow upstairs... but not downstairs.
8) Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
9) It's physically impossible for you to lick the tip of your elbow.
10) The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year
because when it was built, engineers failed to take into account the weight
of all the books that would occupy the building.
11) A snail can sleep for three years.
12) Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears
never stop growing. SCARY!!!
13) The electric chair was invented by a dentist.
14) All polar bears are left-handed.
15) In ancient Egypt, priests plucked EVERY hair from their bodies,
including their eyebrows and eyelashes.
16) An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
17) TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters
only on one row of the keyboard.
TERRIBLY TRUE TRUISM'S
1. A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired.
2. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).
3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
4. A backward poet writes inverse.
5. In democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism it's your count that votes.
6. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.
7. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
8. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.
9. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
10. Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.
11. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
12. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
13. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
14. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
15. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
16. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
17. Every calendar's days are numbered.
18. A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and 'taint mine.
19. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
20. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
21. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
22. The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
23. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
24. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
25. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
26. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.
27. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
28. Santa's helpers are subordinate Clauses.
29. Acupuncture is a jab well done.
30. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.
[Edited by steel driving hammer] |
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| Gazza |
there's a postman from Belfast who left his job to embark on a career as an Elvis impersonator called "The King" - but unlike all the other tedious Elvis impersonators, his two albums are a bit different because he covers songs by artists who have died (or groups who have members who have died) - the albums are called "Gravelands" and "Return to splendor"....!
As Elvis didnt cover these songs it actually works out really well because theres no Elvis version to compare it to and you can just imagine Elvis covering "Come as you are", "LA Woman", "Whole lotta rosie", "Whisky in the jar", "The House is rockin'" and...."Sympathy for the devil".
Its actually fucking brilliant listening, to be honest!
Thanks for "associating" me with this great lookin' compilation Marc - by the way, your Stones/England t-shirt will be in the mail early next week
[Edited by Gazza] |
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| gypsy |
Aww, thanks Stonesy. That is a great compilation. You are the best at that! I'm sure you're good at other things as well. Yes, I'm trying to win this contest by 'sucking' up to you.
I think we've all got the blahs...isn't that normal when the seasons change?
I haven't heard any good jokes in a long while. But, I do have a funny story about this one time my sister and I were fighting when we were young. We were arguing over clothes...and my mom was at work...my poor dad had been out of town on business all week...so, he comes home, all tired and worn out on a friday night...just ready to go to bed...poor guy...and he walks in the door, and my sister and I are screaming and yelling "She took my shirt and wore it to school!"
"Dad! She steals all my clothes!" and on and on and on.
So, the dad just snaps, and yells "You two should have been blowjobs!" And we just turn dead silent and look at each other. Then, we scampered off to my room, trying to figure out what a blowjob was...and why he said that.
So, hours later, my mom comes home from work, and we tell her what he said, and she sends us to our rooms, and gives our dad a huge lecture...which we didn't get to hear. It was actually a few years before we finally figured out what he meant. But, by then, we thought it was really funny...and we still do.
Well, that's all I have. Sorry. |
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| sirmoonie |
I can only HOPE that something got LOST in the translation there, Voodie.
Gypsy, I'm glad you were an intercourse. |
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| VoodooChileInWOnderl |
That joke was deleted automatically, now is just on Sir's PM
I know it was too much, but the things you have to do for that CD |
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| gypsy |
Thank you, sirmoonie. I am glad too!
SS, I'm at work right now...I just finished a series of exams on a very sweet lady (the same age as my mom) dying of cancer. I am so depressed now.
I know we're in the same field, and we're surrounded by the same things...so, I feel you...you can't help but be affected by it. Hell, if we weren't, we wouldn't be normal.
I love ya, Stonesy...and all you other crazy RO'ers as well! |
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| Child of the Moon |
That's a wonderful compilation, my friend. If only they sold that bad boy in stores. Makes me wanna sit down at the old CD burner myself tonight... if I had one here. |
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| Night Clerk |
Well, what's funnier than a Keith story?
This is from one of the Chicago shows during the Voodoo Lounge tour:
Keith steps up to the mic and after greeting the crowd, he says something to the effect "there's a chick here tonight by the name of Lisa and she's hanging with a guy named John. So Lisa, John has something to ask you". Keith adjusts his guitar and puts out his cigarette and mumbles almost to himself "I don't know why I had to do that. I don't even know these people". |
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| steel driving hammer |
quote:
Night Clerk wrote:
"I don't know why I had to do that. I don't even know these people".
True story my brother?
I have both CHI '94 shows and haven't noticed.
I'll have to check it out again, thanks!
But I've still yet to update to a better Tape player to remaster my tapes onto disc.
I like these little comments about show btw... |
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| parmeda |
"Well won't you listen baby
To what I wanna say
I'm so crazy 'bout you
I don't wanna play..."
What a great song SS! I am so flattered...mmwwhhaaa, dear!
But, I DO WANNA PLAY...your contest, that is, lol!
And the only way I could possibly make you laugh hysterically this week would be to "lose"...lose at our bet *sniff*...I can see your face and hear that 'cackling' roar from the depths of your gut...and I'm too fuckin' close behind yer ass to let that happen! It's going down to the wire, baby. The gloves are off and I'm smashin' my chest up to yours
Look me in the eye with a straight face now...
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| marko |
Tony,i got the other chicago-94 show on dvd.(pal)....
I think i´m gonna listen i´m the slime...i love those
lyrics! |
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| Sir Stonesalot |
45 minutes left.
Make me laugh damn it. |
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| jb |
Great list SS...generally speaking, bald headed people are very bright . |
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| Joey |
" Great list SS...generally speaking, bald headed people are very bright . "
You make Joey laugh like Hell !!!!!!!!
Actually , when I think of Stoney , I think of Telly Savalas ( sic )
Then again , when I think of Josh , I think of James Garner ( circa 1978 ) .
I think of Max and his misguided love for Jeff Beck .
I think of Jeff Beck and realize why Rod Stewart once stated that Beck is his " own worst enemy " .
I think of my Undefeated Huskers and wonder who can possibly beat them this year besides Oklahoma and / or Miami .
I think of Gypsy and her ****** Blank Friggin Stare ***** and laugh uproariously for it is the unbelievable humor that keeps your young Joecee coming back to this most prodigious of message boards .
I think of Steely Dan and their back-to-back-to-back gigs they played over the weekend and ask myself , " Just how much money DID they make these past three days ???? "
I think of all the booze I drank on Friday evening and wonder how I made it home that night .
I think of the horrific hangover I had all day Saturday and wonder how in the Hell I managed to complete six hours of yard work ( cutting the lawn , fertilizing , trimming , laying down mulch , etc ....................)
I think of our fair city's brand spanking new 20,000 seat arena and wonder why they named it after a bankrupt company and how long before they turn the whole thing over to Warren Buffet ???????
I think of the massive shit I have to take right now and hope the toilet seats are fairly clean here at the office .
I think ................I hope ...............I excrete !
Developing ..........................................Literally
Shiver ..............................................
Jercee ! |
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| Mother baby |
quote:
Sir Stonesalot wrote:
Make me laugh damn it.
I can't. Have your wife tickle your anus with one of those electrical vibrating dildos. There's usually quite a few attachments. |
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| FPM C10 |
Funny you picked Lady Day for me, I was just listening to her for the first time in years - "Sweet Hunk of Trash" with Louis Armstrong and "Gimme A Pigfoot and A Bottle of Beer" were the songs that really stuck to my ribs.
A joke -
A guy dies and goes to heaven. St. Pete is showing him around. They come to an area where there are elephants and a river everyone is wading in and sitar music playing. What's this, the dead guy asks. Oh, this is where the hindus go.
Then they come to an area where the men are all dressed in black and the women wear white bonnets and a barn is being raised in the background. This, says St Pete, is where the Amish go.
An area where everyone faces mecca as the muezzin calls the faithful to prayer is pointed out as where the muslims go, and so on.
Finally they come to a building with no doors or windows. What's THAT? asks the dead guy. Oh, that's where born-again Christians go. They think they're the only ones here. |
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| Joey |
I thnk of Fleabit and how closely he resembles Paul Williams !
I think I shall play " Stripped Companion " in my Home CD Player tonight and every night .
I think .................................
I hope ..................................
I have to pee .
Jacky ! |
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