| September 12th, 2005 01:59 AM |
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| corgi37 |
Well, as I mentioned before, there is a dickhead who “writes” for Melbourne’s biggest selling Sunday paper. He is a total turd. His name is Pete Best. Have a guess who his favourite band is? And, have a guess who he despises?
Anyway, I feared he would review A BIGGER BANG. And, right on the money, he did. To my eternal surprise, he gave it a good rating. But, not before laying a few kicks. Not before he could mention his beloved Mop Tops. I mean, what the fuck have the Beatles got to do with ANY new release by the Stones? Go figure. Well, he always does. He cant resist it.
Bit of back ground on this pimple. He used to play in a band called (ahem) “Pete Best Beatles” around 15 or so years ago. Original, huh? It was a covers band, of course. For the paper, he reviews mainly albums by older bands. Hence, his frequent mention of the Liverpool 4. Cant wait for his review of Paul McCartney’s upcoming record. The prick will be gushing all over his computer.
As I said, the review was good. Well, the total was. He gave BB 3 ½ stars. Yet, actually doesn’t PRAISE any song. Well, anyway, read for youselves.
And, I cant help laughing here, but please read some of the shit he refers to! I wasn’t going to, but I just had to add some comments of my own. This guy is priceless! In the past, I’ve sent him some heated letters, but I cant be bothered now I am old. He knows he’s an idiot.
QUOTE:
“Mick and Keith – it’s Keith’s (REALLY?) band, but his pillion passenger has been known to make some valuable contributions (ER, YEAH, JAGGER’S CONTRIBUTION IS ONLY MINOR TO THE STONES SUCCESS. ALL SONGS REALLY WRITTEN BY KEITH, I ASSUME)– long ago retreated from the frontiers of rock n roll.
When they manned them in the late 60’s, rock music had become the repository of contemporary thought. But the Stones were made of simple stuff. They stole a few scenes mostly, such as at Altamont, by accident. (WTF DOES HE MEAN?? THEY STOLE A SCENE? I JUST DON’T GET IT? IS HE SAYING ALTAMONT WAS STAGED? OR, THEY WERE FORTUNATE TO BE THERE?)
They were cheats, really. Guarded and businesslike. (OH, I GET IT. THE STONES HAVE SURVIVED AND THRIVED FOR OVER 40 YEARS BY CHEATING. BUT, THE BEATLES NEVER DID, DID THEY? YES, THE STONES ARE SO UNORIGINAL.)
They borrowed ideas (LIKE PLAYING COVERS IN HAMBURG BROTHELS?), which they tried to sell off as cynicism (Let it Bleed trumps Let it Be) or parody (Their Satanic Majesties Request out-psychodelics Sgt Pepper’s). (OK – GOTTA STOP IT HERE. LET IT BE WAS RELEASED AFTER LET IT BLEED, BUT RECORDED BEFORE. THIS CLOWN DOESN’T EVEN KNOW THE HISTORY OF HIS OWN FREAKING BAND!) But while it was only rock n roll and we liked it, they pretended to be somewhat more (THEY DID? WHEN?). This from a crew lacking the simple courage to withstand Ed Sullivans demand the censor the words to Lets spend the night together. Jagger happily complied. (GROAN – THIS OLD CHESTNUT. WHAT ABOUT THE PISSING INCIDENT? WOULD YOU LET YOUR DAUGHTER MARRY A ROLLING STONE? AT LEAST THE BAND WERE NOT TOO CHICKEN SHIT TO TOUR.)
But Richards rhythmic grunt pushed some of the songs beyond the ordinary; indeed some of them are genre-defining (GEE, THANKS A LOT). No one can argue that the rocky grit of Jumping Jack Flash, Under my thumb, Honky Tonk Women and Brown Sugar are the essence of rock n roll (YEP, YA GOT IT IN ONE. UNDER MY THUMB IS SOOOO MUCH MORE IMPORTANT THAN SATISFACTION – DWEEB).
So, here it is, after 8 years, the latest Stones album. It’s American and European reviews have breathlessly likened it to Exile on Main St (more thoughtful fans always reckoned they bettered that immediately with Goats Head Soup). (OK, OK, GOTTA STOP IT HERE. I CANT TYPE. FALLING OFF CHAIR LAUGHING. OH YEAH, THE VAST MAJORITY OF US THINK EXILE SUCKS AND GOATS HEAD IS VASTLY SUPERIOR. YUP. UH-HUH. AND LENNON IS LIVING WITH ELVIS IN A MUD HUT ).
It’s simple. It’s a little rude – Jagger would wear the Warning” Course language sticker like a badge of courage (OOOOH, ISNT HE NAUGHTY, MR. BEST!!).
It’s predictable and it mostly chugs along on the undiminished energy of our Keef (YEAH, KEITH PLAYS MANY PARTS, LIKE MACCA. BUT KEITH DID IT OUT OF NECCESSITY – NOT BEING SO TIGHT HE DIDN’T WANT TO PAY SESSION MUSICIANS, LIKE SIR PAUL.).
It’s bloody terrific”. (WHAT??? WHAT DID YOU SAY?? THINK I’M GONNA FAINT!).
UNQUOTE:
So, there ya go. This fuck knuckle gets paid for this! Not one mention of one song. Not even a song title! Hey, not even what is fast becoming a cliché, a note of “Sweet Neocon”. After the history lesson, his deeply thought out verdict, his considered opinion, after much analysis, his review is…
“It’s bloody terrific”.
After 14 paragraphes, 1, a total of 1, describes, reviews, critiques the album. 3 words!
Bet he listened to the 1st 30 seconds of each song.
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| September 12th, 2005 04:27 AM |
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| exile |
Dont you hate reviewers who think they are rock historians, and spell out their own 'version' of rock history.
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| September 12th, 2005 05:57 AM |
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| M.O.W.A.T. |
Yeah, and I bet he goes around to all the bars and tells chicks "Yeah, really! I'm THAT Pete Best who was kicked out of the Beatles!" just to impress them. |
| September 12th, 2005 07:20 AM |
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| egon |
i think i'll cancel my trip down under |
| September 12th, 2005 07:53 AM |
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| Daethgod |
".... but his pillion passenger..."
wtf !!!
Mick should sue the toolbox
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| September 12th, 2005 10:44 PM |
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| corgi37 |
No, dont cancel Egon.
Come down, and you, me, and Daeth can "accidently" bump into the guy.
Exile can fly down for the bumping. |
| September 12th, 2005 11:58 PM |
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| exile |
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| September 13th, 2005 01:00 AM |
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| West 8 |
I wonder if music critic Jim Farber had anything good to say about this album? I din't know if he still reviews music, but I know he had very little positive things to say about the last few Stones albums |
| September 13th, 2005 01:45 AM |
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| Mottrush |
I spotted this on the weekend Corgi. A mate of mine was so angry with this loser's review that he wrote a 5 page response to the fucker!!
No doubt will fall on deaf ears!!
Cheers,
Mottrush |
| September 13th, 2005 02:18 AM |
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| stonedinaustralia |
quote:
Mottrush wrote:
A mate of mine was so angry with this loser's review that he wrote a 5 page response to the fucker!!
good
i'm glad someone made the effort |
| September 13th, 2005 07:22 AM |
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| corgi37 |
He never replies. Hides behind his John Lennon posters.
But, please, fellow Aussies, just wait for Macca's album. You'll swear Christ has come back. Macca's last one got an amazing reveiw.
I still cant get over the Exile Vs Goats Head reference.
And am still puzzled by what he meant about Altamont. Like, was it staged? Is that was he's trying to say by "stealing a scene". Or, is he saying the Stones were "lucky" a guy got knifed?
Hey, i'd like to see this 5 page letter ya mate sent! |
| September 13th, 2005 07:24 AM |
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| Gazza |
This thread is hilarious
I'd love to see how you guys would have reacted had he followed that article by actually panning the album!
[Edited by Gazza] |
| September 13th, 2005 07:40 AM |
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| Daethgod |
easy dude
we would have all marched down to the Newspapers offices.. decked out in our Stones merchandise and given him a good ass kicking..
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