| August 5th, 2004 02:23 AM |
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| parmeda |
For your Birthday, beer...and in your honor...
BEER DRINKING RULES
*You are officially cut-off if you break any of these rules. There are no exceptions!!*
Rule 1001 - NO SPILLAGE
Spilling any amount of beer will get you cut off and thrown out! You better come up with one hell of an excuse to get out of this one...especially if it's my homebrew!!
Rule 1002 - NO DUAL OPENERS
Anyone accidentally opening another beer, before finishing their current beer, is cut off.
Rule 1003 - NO WARM BREW
Bringing warm (non-refrigerated) beer just pisses people off!!
Rule 1004 - NO PRETENDERS
You either can or can't handle your beer -- 'nuff said.
Rule 1005 - NO FREELOADING
You may show up once without bringing your own supply. After that, you are cut off!
Rule 1006 - NO QUITTERS
My favorite rule...if you pour it, you drink it!! People who leave half full bottles or pints of beer for me to clean up the next day should be shot, hung, stabbed, and then tortured!
Rule 1007 - NO GHOSTING
Forgetting where you left your beer is only forgiven if you don't break the "5 second rule." Remember where it is in 5 seconds or less and you may continue to indulge.
Rule 1008 - NO ILLEGAL PUMPING
You know the type - this is the person who takes so long to finish their beer that it has become warm and flat. They try to sneak over to a bush or a sink and dump it out so they can go get a fresh refill. Please refer to Rule 1006.
Rule 1009 - NO HYPER-PUMPERS
Take it easy on the keg, you only need to pump it once or twice while the tap is OPEN...get it?
Rule 1010 - NO CAROUSING
Under no circumstances may you hit on your buddy's spouse, UNLESS your buddy says it's okay!
Rule 1011 - NO MINE SWEEPING
There is no excuse for losing track of your beer and grabbing the closest beer as if it were yours...get your own!
Rule 1012 - NO "AHH SHITS"
An ahh shit is what most of us say when we open the freezer and discover that we left the beer in there too long! We've all done it, but three "Ahh Shits" and you're outta here!
Rule 1013 - NO BUTTING
Accidentally or purposely dropping a cigarette butt into an otherwise good beer will get you thrown out and chastised until the end of time!
Rule 1014 - NO BRING & SWITCH
If you bring it, you drink it. Don't bring in some cheap-ass, knock off, $4.85 a case beer, and drink the other good beer in the house first.
Rule 1015 - NO SLAMMING GOOD BEER
No slamming of quality ales or lagers! Good beer is meant to be enjoyed. You may however slam a Bud or a Coors (first beer only ) just to get the taste of the day out of your system. Then enjoy a real beer.
Rule 1016 - GIVING HEAD IS FOR CHICKS
If you pour a beer for someone too quickly, you just became "beer-bitch" for the night. Oh, yeah, and you're cut-off.
Rule 1017 - NO TAPPING
The act of "tapping" your bottle of beer atop the bottle of another person's beer, thereby causing a pressure reaction and a volcanic effect, thereby ruining a good beer. This rule may be violated only if you can buy a case of said beer for less than $5.00.
Rule 1018 - VOMITING
**Vomiting In Bounds** A beer drinker who vomits in a toilet, in bushes, or other area designated by the Host as "in bounds" shall not be penalized in any way, and shall receive kudos and honoraria if he continues drinking after vomiting in bounds.
**Vomiting Out Of Bounds** A beer drinker who vomits on carpet, upholstered furniture, or other area designated by the Host as "out of bounds" shall be subject to penalties, including but not limited to: being dragged through own vomit, being stripped naked and left in the front yard, and paying for the cost of cleaining. Nevertheless, a beer drinker who vomits out of bounds and continues drinking may receive kudos and honoraria at the Host's discretion.
Rule 1019 - NO UPDATING
There is no walking around saying "I'm so wrecked, this is my 8th." If you're sober enough to remember how many you've had, then you havent had enough!
THE BEER PRAYER
(not a rule, but worthy of the list)
Our lager,
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be Thy drink,
Thy will be drunk, (I will be drunk),
At home as I am in the tavern.
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillages,
As we forgive those who spill against us,
And lead us not to incarceration,
But deliver us from hangovers,
For thine is the beer,
The bitter and the lager,
Forever and ever, Barmen!
- author unknown
[Edited by parmeda] |
| August 5th, 2004 02:28 AM |
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| stonedinaustralia |
all the best beer
love your work
SIA |
| August 5th, 2004 05:08 AM |
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| beer |
Parmeda! Thanks, LOL!
I turn 27 on this fine day. The cursed age of many rock stars. thankfully I aint one of 'em, cuz i'd certainly be doomed.
SIA, as your attorney, I advise you to have a drink or two.
Cheers! |
| August 5th, 2004 05:12 AM |
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| Gazza |
27? You're wise beyond your years, young man.
Have a great birthday |
| August 5th, 2004 06:50 AM |
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| Ten Thousand Motels |
Happy Birthday & Drink 'em up!
 |
| August 5th, 2004 07:07 AM |
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| egon |
Beer,
Happy Heineken! |
| August 5th, 2004 08:46 AM |
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| L&A |
Happy B...day, Beer  |
| August 5th, 2004 08:59 AM |
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| mac_daddy |
happy bday, beer - and many happy returns.
your present will hit the mail today
(great post, parmeda - classic stuff.)
[Edited by mac_daddy] |
| August 5th, 2004 09:29 AM |
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| Joey |
HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jacky ! |
| August 5th, 2004 10:19 AM |
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| Angiegirl |
Congrats Beer, have a great day!! |
| August 5th, 2004 10:19 AM |
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| Lazy Bones |
I'll raise one for ya. A mug, that is!!
Happy Birthday, Beer!
[Edited by Lazy Bones] |
| August 5th, 2004 11:13 AM |
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| nankerphelge |
Happy B'day beer ol' boy!
And to all the recent B'days I missed -- FPM, SS, Joey, TomL |
| August 5th, 2004 11:34 AM |
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| Joey |
quote:
nankerphelge wrote:
Happy B'day beer ol' boy!
And to all the recent B'days I missed -- FPM, SS, Joey, TomL
Hi Nanky ! |
| August 5th, 2004 01:04 PM |
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| stewed & Keefed |
Happy Birthday, Beer  |
| August 5th, 2004 01:05 PM |
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| jb |
Always liked this guy-Happy Birthday Beer!!! |
| August 5th, 2004 04:58 PM |
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| gypsy |
Happy Birthday to one of my favorite people at RO! Have a great one, fellow Leo. |
| August 5th, 2004 11:08 PM |
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| Water Dragon |
Many happy returns, Oh-so-Kind Beer...or as Coleridge might say:
"The happiness of life is made up of minute fractions - the little soon forgotten charities of a kiss or smile, a kind look, a heartfelt compliment, and the countless infinitesimals of pleasurable and genial feeling."
I pray for you a most enjoyable New Year!
Best regards,
W.D. |
| August 6th, 2004 01:44 AM |
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| MarthaMyDear |
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BEER!!! ENJOY A BEER!!!
lol............. LOL!!!!!!!!! :P Seriously,
though... Have fun and ENJOY your birthday!!! Glad to have
another Leo around these parts!!! Anyways, take
care, have fun, be safe, and CHEERS!!! ROCK
ON!!!
*** Martha *** |
| August 6th, 2004 07:06 AM |
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| Factory Girl |
Happy Birthday, beer!
Hey, MMD-I like your avatrar!
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| August 6th, 2004 07:24 AM |
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| LadyJane |
Happy Birthday, beer!!
You keep us all laughing!
LJ. |
| August 6th, 2004 07:48 AM |
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| Irina |
Happy Birthday, Beer!
My best wishes to You and
..... link to some funny site (about beer and not only )
- have some fun
http://www.fionasplace.net/Cookerysayings.html
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| August 6th, 2004 10:05 PM |
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| beer |
A sincere thanks to you all. You guys are the best friends i've never met! and Rocks Off is the best Stones site ever.
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| August 6th, 2004 10:24 PM |
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| gypsy |
Hey beer! Happy Birthday...again! I'm just hanging around the house...washing all of my clothes from my vacation.
Saw that you just posted...okay, I'm stalking you...but just for your birthday, so don't get used to it.
Luv ya! |
| August 6th, 2004 10:26 PM |
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| Bloozehound |
beer, i found this on another board enjoy, lol
http://riecilla.servebeer.com/index.php? |
| August 6th, 2004 10:35 PM |
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| beer |
Ha!
Gypsy, i just got a giant poster of Keith and Brian. Gonna hang it up tonight. I still think your site is without doubt one of the best i've ever seen. Keith (and Anita of course) are lucky to have someone as dedicated as you! |
| August 6th, 2004 10:54 PM |
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| gypsy |
Awww. You are so sweet. Thank you. When I got home, there were a few magazines I'd ordered from ebay that arrived. I'm scanning them now. So, hopefully they'll be added soon.
I got an email from Amazon saying that they shipped "Before They Make Me Run" by Kris Needs the other day...so it should be here soon...I hope it's better than that "Satisfaction" book that came out earlier this year.
I'll let you know of course.
I've been going through all those stills I took from all my videos now that I'm home. I've got a LOT to send to Voodoo of Stu and Nicky. I managed to get a few of Anita and Keith arguing at Mick and Bianca's wedding. |
| August 6th, 2004 11:17 PM |
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| VoodooChileInWOnderl |
Never is too late to say FELIZ CUMPLEAÑOS Mr. T
I'm gonna have a cold cold beer in your honor and play some Mick Taylor live stuff |
| August 6th, 2004 11:48 PM |
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| beer |
Voodoo! as a fellow fan of one of the absolute best guitar players ever, Mr. Taylor, I just gotta ask, has the Stones version of "Red House" recorded at Nellcote, ever been found? I heard that jimmy miller had tapes! |
| August 7th, 2004 09:28 PM |
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| MarthaMyDear |
quote:
Hey, MMD-I like your avatrar!
THANK YOU,
FG!!! I talked to him once at an old job of
mine (a coffeehouse I worked at here in L.A.) and he is
REALLY nice and talkative, not intimidating, and fricking
GEEEORGEOUS!!! lol........................... lol. L
lol..... But, we DO know that already...
lol... LOL!!!!!!!!! :P LOL!!!!!!!!!! I recently bought a big
silver pirate ring in celebration of his hottness, a big
silver keith ring that's on the finger next to it, etc., the
Pirates DVD, and a little framed postcard of him sitting on
a stove that I'm gonna put above my stove in my new place...
Now I can't stop thinking about this cute, little terry
cloth purse that says Mrs. Depp on it I just saw but I think
I'll stop right there...
LAUGHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh,
boy... lol...... LOL!!!!!! Ok.... Getting older but NOT
growing-up... I guess I'll rent Peter Pan tonight, or some
shit,... LOL!!!!!!!!!!! Ok.... lol. LOL!!!!!!! :P
Gotta run but let me know if you hear any Johnny news and
visa-versa, ok.?!?!?! I'll post any Pirates
news here if I hear any, etc.!!! Anyways,
take care, PEACE, and DO ROCK ON!!! PEACE!!!
lol............ PEACE!!!
*** Martha *** |
| August 8th, 2004 10:56 AM |
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| Gazza |
>HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BEER!!! ENJOY.... A BEER!!!
maybe I should change my name to Blowjob
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