All hell broke loose in Londontown today as FC Midnight Ramblers trounced The Oasis team Supernova Utd. by a score of 34-nil. Captain of the Ramblers, goalkeeper Sir Stonesalot, said that the score could have been even more one sided had the Ramblers not gotten drunk in a pub at the half, and forgotten to take the pitch for the second half. As it turns out, Supernova self destructed early in the 2nd half after missing the empty net on 6 consecutive shots. The rest of the half was marred by red cards for fighting, and unsportsman-like conduct.
The scoring started in the sixth second for the Ramblers(1-0-0), and continued until the referee mercifully ended the half. Jumacfly scored 14 goals on just 12 shots, and Scottish sensation ScotRocks added a ten spot.
FC Midnight Ramblers next opponent are Rod Stewart's Hot Legs. This is a very tough assignment for Ramblers as the Hot Legs are made up entirely of Swedish bikini models. "I think the key to this match will be if we can keep our cocks in our cups, and out of the bird's mouths.", says Sir Stonesalot. "I'm hoping that they at least get the ball into my end of the turf this time. Those lame-assed Oasis guys couldn't even get the ball passed the mid-field line. I'm gonna direct the team to let the girls have some corner kicks so we can have some close in action. We'll have to use remarkable self control. This should be a good learning experience, and we'll know if we are for real after this match. We'll have to learn not to let that lesbian stuff distract us..."
Of course, SS refers to the stunning 1-nil victory that Hot Legs posted over FC Tommy. The Hot Legs used a "lesbian dog pile" to distract the title contender Who team. While the Tommy's were all gathered around the naked, licking beauties, one of the bikini babes snuck behind the defense and knocked in a goal on the empty net. Time expired before the Tommys "finished" with the dog pile.
||Great job Ramblers-beat those bloody Oasis wankers silly!!!
||Funny you should say that jb...we didn't have to beat them senseless...they beat themselves senseless. We just drank ourselves senseless.
FC Tommy's match was more fun to watch than our match with the Supernovas. Oddly enough, the Tommy's did have one player who wasn't interested in the lesbian stuff as he was a deaf, dumb, and blind kid. But he spent the entire match marking a parking meter....but he sure played a mean pinball!
||Yeah SS, a resounding victory. However as you say, the next game against Hot Legs will take much skill. I think our best strategy would be to sit right back and let them get right on top of us and employ a physical man marking game...implementation of this strategy should give us plenty of chances to score...
Mark (No. 7 for FC Midnight Ramblers)
Need a road manager?
I only sign if I get to call the team the "little shower of shit". I could set up a few cross-pond and mainland friendlies if needed.
-tSYX --- Siddown! Siddown!
||Mark...Yeah, that's a brilliant ploy.
I'll sign up SDH. He's queer as they come. While we keep the opposition busy, he can put the ball in the net.
Xyzzy...I think our match with Hot Legs would certainly qualify as a friendly...very friendly...extremely friendly. And go ahead and call us your little shower of shit once....see what happens.
Sir Stonesalot (GK) wrote:
Xyzzy...I think our match with Hot Legs would certainly qualify as a friendly...very friendly...extremely friendly.
Well du-uh... If I sign up, I get full access to the sidelines - you guys'd have to still play the game while you marked your territory.
Sir Stonesalot (GK) threatened:
And go ahead and call us your little shower of shit once....see what happens.
Is this going to be anything like "Sing This All Together (See What Happens)"? Or more like "Gomper"?
Shall we be more accurate and say "Fight", followed closely by my stunning rendition of Ronnie's "Pretty Beat Up"?
-tSYX --- Alright, my little three-chord wonders, you're on!
||The probable championship game at this point will likely be FC Midnight Ramblers vs. Paul McCartney's team The Regards to Broadway. It is predicted Macca's team will be blown out anyway, managing to do a bunch of Beatles songs in between while getting their asses handed to them on a silver platter, then their fans all sing "No More Lonely Nights" to congratulate the team, then they all walk out with suitcases, glowing blue around the edges, right out of the stadium after becoming a box office bomb in their championship game.
||We're favored to go all the way to the Cup this year? Really?
Wow. I hadn't even considered that. I mean we just got the team together a few days ago...didn't even have time to practice before our first match.
I guess anything is possible.
I thought the team to beat was Piano Man Utd.(Elton & Billy Joel's team). The experts must feel that it's too difficult to play footie while wearing great big wigs.
All I can say is that we will try.
||Of course, the FC Midnight Ramblers (Stones team) is in a hard conference and division (is this football American or International we're talking about?) Let's check the league:
It's Only Rock n' Roll But I like it Conf.
60s Rock Elite Div:
FC Midnight Ramblers (Stones)
The Roadhouse Lizards (Doors)
The Electric Lady Gypsys (sic)(Hendrix)
The Strange Brews (Cream)
Rainy Day Women (B. Dylan)
Deaf, dumb and blind kids (the Who)
70s Rock Elite Div.
The Chain Lightning (Steely Dan)
The Hearts of Gold (Neil Young)
The Freebirds (Lynyrd Skynyrd)
The Kashmir Heartbreakers (Led Zeppelin)
The Trains in Vain (the Clash)
The Asbury Park Thunder Roads (Bruce Springsteen)
80s Rock Elite Div.
The Slash Jungle Childs o' mine (Guns n' Roses)
The Street w/no Name (U2)
The Cold Shot Crossfirers (Stevie Ray Vaughn)
The House Burners (Talking Heads)
The True Aimers (Elvis Costello)
The Panamanian Jumpers (Van Halen)
90s rock elite div.
The Teen Spirit (Nirvana)
The Even Flowers (Pearl Jam)
The Superunknown Black Hole Suns (Soundgarden)
The Sandmen (Metallica)
The other two teams, R.E.M.'s Religion Losers and Smashing Pumpkins Mellon Collies, were contracted due to their incessant whininess.
Pop's good Bad and the Ugly
The Hand Holding Lonely Hard Day's Band (Beatles)
The Scizophrenic Good Vibrations (Beach Boys)
The Go-Go Goers (Smokey & the Miracles)
Phil Spector's Merry Wall of Sound Crew
The Shoe Holes (Traffic)
The Cloud Niners (Temptations)
70s Pop Over-saturation
The Honky Cat Rocket Men (Elton John)
The Piano Men (Billy Joel)
The Tequila Hotels (Eagles)
The Wings at the Speed of Paul (Wings)
The Hot Legged Blondes (Rod Stewart)
The Jive Talkin' Aussies (Bee Gees)
The Elephant Man Buyin', Kiddie lovin', plastic surgery havin', crotch grabbin', white glove wearin' Thriller (Michael Jackson of course)
The Dirty Minded Doves (Prince)
The Skanky Cross Burners (Madonna)
The Sussudios (Phil Collins)
The Rio Pretty Boys (Duran Duran)
The Sweet Dreams (Eurythmics)
All teams folded considering none lasted at least 5 years once pop took over in the mid-90s again. and if they did it's because they're from the 80s (ie. Madonna, etc.)
Well, it looks like the IORR conf. will beat these petty, pretty, mascara-wearing, flashy, stylish pansies big time. So as you can see the favourites have to be the Midnight Ramblers.
||LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL Sir SS!!!!
i just come back today , after a week end without the board
( it was very hard!!)
How fun is this post!!!
i m happy to belong to the MRFC!!!
i was called by Macca to join his mellow team for a few bucks ,but,fuck, i'll stay with you my friends for this years champions league!!
i d like to thank you Ss and also Mark (aka the scott bullet) for your 14 assists, now i m looking forward our next match against the piano queers (Elton team)...
It won t be easy to play against 11 mans on high heels...
**Jumacfly number 14 of the MRFC**
ps: Well guys, what about a MRFC shirt???
||Dear Sir, can you list the entire crew of our soccer team??
i think xe got a good chance to win the league after have crashed the Supernovas...
it was very fun to tackle Liam...i would have done the same with Noel, but this wancker was sniffing the white lines during the game...
Cheers , mrfc rules!!!
||Jumacfly, I forgot about the Snot Nosed New Bitches on the Block div which has been winless in its history, featuring:
The Champagne Cocaine Novas (Oasis)
The No Talent Attached Bye-Byes ('Ny Sync)
The Marshal Mathers' Dim Ladies (Slim Shadies-Eminem)
The Rob Thomas Collaborators with Older Guys (Matchbox 20)
The Implant Virgins (Britney Spears)
The Puffy Sean Puff Diddy Combs Daddy P's (you know that rapper, whatever his name is)