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Topic: I want to buy a radio station..... Return to archive
08-05-02 01:25 PM
Maxlugar ..are they expensive?

And what about all the regulatory stuff.

Is the FCC a pain to deal with?

I'm thinking I can serve our Dark Lords more effectively if I just get off my ass and buy a radio station.

Thanks a lot!

08-05-02 01:44 PM
nankerphelge Your better bet is to buy a boat and run a station just outside the territorial limits of the US. You can avoid all the hassles of the FCC and other annoying regulatory agencies. You'll need a VP in charge of chiba tho -- I'll see if I can get some time off...
08-05-02 01:49 PM
Nasty Habits Dark Lord Ragul-Xam --

If you actually open a radio station, no matter where it is in America, I will come and work for you. Feed me coffee and bourbon speedballs and I will DJ all day and all night long. For room, board, beer, gauge and records will I work.

That's I work for right now, so it won't be any change.

What are your call letters?


Tell us more of what the world would be like if Maxy ran the radio . . .

Dr. Nasty Fever

08-05-02 02:09 PM
Joey "And what about all the regulatory stuff.

Is the FCC a pain to deal with? "

I tried to buy " Radio Hanoi " when I was a P.O.W. in the Hanoi Hilton in 1968 ---- My Viet Cong captors said I had a great " announcing voice " but stated that I lacked the proper " language facilities " and were concered about my Pro LBJ tendencies ..................then there were the daily beatings and constant torturing and tormenting that severly limited my train of thought and proper exploring of any legal channelings .....................What the Hell was the question here anyway ?????

Developing ............

Confused again ...........

This is a thread that should be discussed on Tuesdays at the earliest ....................

Fading Fast ............

Jo Jo

08-05-02 02:11 PM
Maxlugar KMAX!!!!!!!!!!

THAT'S IT!!!!!!!!!!

Holy Shit! You've done it again little buddy!

"Hellloo evera' body out there! This is your Captain, Max A. Lugar spinin' all of side four of Love You Live tonight bay-bay!! That's right! ALL of side four only on your favorite Rock and Roll radio station, 108.5 KMAX!!"

Oh that's great, now I can't do my real job!


Someone help me buy this station so Nasty habits can spim platters and drink coffee and Bourbon speedballs for us all!


Your Dark Lord, RAGUL-XAM!!!

08-05-02 02:19 PM
Nasty Habits Spimming platters on the radio is one of my fery vavorite things to do.

08-05-02 02:40 PM
Maxlugar That's it! You're fired Nasty Habits!

Never make fun of the boss!

And take your coffee and Bourbon speedballs with you!

On second thought, leave those....


08-05-02 02:52 PM
Joey Another Tricky Day ......................for Joey !

Another dull and nagging pain ...........for Joey !

What the papers say ......just seems to bring down heavier rain ....................................for Joey !

The world seems in a spiral ....and life a worthless TITLE !!!!! But BREAK OUT AND START A FIRE YOU ALL .....................IT'S ALL HERE ON THE VINYL !!!!

NO CRISIS --- THIS IS TRUE !!!!!!!!!

This is no social crisis ................just another tricky day ..................................for Joey !

H.R. Joeykins !

08-05-02 04:46 PM
Nasty Habits Hey - hey - hey - hey - hey

It ain't like that - It was a cryptic personal reference to the kind of idiot I turn into after too much bourbon and too much coffee.

Drinking, smoking, and flashing on the air made me switch my consanants and say incredibly weird, stupid shit on the air - it was a major draw to my radio show.

One time I was trying to talk about the weather and how it was storming like fuck in Columbia, MO, but not in Jefferson City, which was 30 miles away but also part of our listening constituency.

Drunk and stupid and high as a kite, I would say profound stuff like, "Outside here, it is raining. Here elsewhere it is not. Rockaboogaboogabooga!"

On the air typos were my specialty.

08-05-02 05:19 PM
Riffhard Maxy,I would love to work at KMAX!As you know I am a trained radio professional.In fact at this very moment I'm on the air!I would leave WRAT in a second if you give the word.There is a little concern on my part about a contract,but I'm sure we could work that out.My numbers speak for themselves.I kill K-Rock and Q-104.3.They got nothing on me baby.If I could find some midget lesbians who could shoot flaming ping pong balls out of their lower orafices I'm sure I could beat up on Opie and Anthony too!You get the midget lesbians and I'll bring the ping pong balls and lighter fluid!Oh yeah,I also bring my Stones CD collection.If it's ok with you I'd like to keep the airshift I work now.PM Drive 3-7pm.It's just easier for me to continue with the rock and roll lifestyle that I have come to expect and enjoy!

Thank You for your consideration.

08-05-02 06:46 PM
Scot Rocks Hey I have often had that thought as well, buying a radio station and so I could blast all the music I like around the country and giving them a bit of education. You get the feeling after hearing some of the trash over here - we don't even have a rock station!!! - and u think to yourself if I make a bit of money I am gonna create a station and blast the Stones out all day... I am dreaming now lol,

The International waters idea, brings me back to that Simpsons episode, where Homer took Mr Burns boat out to Int. Waters and well lets just say, alcohol, monkeys fightin' and Pirates were involved, a classic lol. Nothing to do with the thread but I thought I would mention it anyway.


08-05-02 08:48 PM
nankerphelge If you do buy the station Max, I hope you'll give consideration to my idea for a show called Point/Counterfuckingpoint

The whole gist of the show is that you bring on a guest that likes, say .. oh I dunno .. N'Sync and they go head to head with me. They say "N'Synch dances great" or whatever and I then I mock them (and let callers call in and mock them) and then we play Stones songs for a while.

I think it would work -- I think people will really like it. We can also bring in special guests like that Gallageher Oasis fuck and let him spout off and then as the counterfukcinpoint, we can select someone from the audience to come on down and beat his sorry ass but good!

It's a sure fire winner.

08-05-02 09:08 PM
Scot Rocks Those are great ideas Nanky, I would pay to listen to those senarios.
08-06-02 08:16 AM
Maxlugar Nasty Habits, was your radio name Dr. Johnny Fever by any chance.

Shit I want to do this.

Riffy, find out how much radio stations cost and see if any are available on Long Island and you can name your time slot!

Nanky has some great ideas. I think maybe we could all hang at the station and who ever feels like playing some songs or saying stuff can just get up and walk to the mic.

102.3 WBAB won't know what hit it! As a matter of fact we should move right next door to 102.2.

"This is 102.2 KMAX rockin' your world Bay-bay!!!!! Good mornin' all you rockin' cats out there! This ones called Monkey Man.........."

And so spake Maxy....

08-06-02 08:32 AM
stonedinaustralia max - i used to work for a radio station for a couple of years but i couldn't stand the sell-out factor- now i'm hardened to the commercial realities of modern life can i have a job too?... fuck that... can i buy into the deal??

I can provide exclusive southern - hemisphere reports (as a sideline, i could have running battle with fiji joe on what's happening on the flip side of the equator and the front side of the international date line - a niche market, i know, but the punters are out there)...or, more, i'll quit my job, liquidate all my assets and move over to your side...

KMAX - "so far out, you'd have thought you'd died and gone to heaven - where Bush Doctor is on continuous rotation"
08-06-02 08:43 AM
scope Love it. KMAX, the most Stones music played anywhere in the world. And of course, just out of curiousity, the boys would just have to stop by and visit when they're in NY.

And a question for Riffhard...what station are working at? Would love to tune you in.

And one more thought. Anyone know if it's more economical or easier to start one of those satellite radio stations? The ones where you can tune a station in on your car radio and listen no matter where in the country you are.
08-06-02 11:25 AM
Nasty Habits Actually my radio name was Dewey Freejack -- Unpack all the references in that . . . If you can!

Somebody's going to have to sell some KMAX advertising or this thing is going to go down quicker than Mick Jagger on a supermodel.

08-06-02 11:35 AM
Sir Stonesalot Can I do the morning shift? I'd like to get work out of the way early so the rest of the day I can just fuck off and get fucked up.

How the hell could you have a radio station that plays all Stones without Sir Stonesalot? You just CAN'T!

Can I have a chick co-host?

"Ooooohhhhhhh YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH! That was Midnight Rambler again...this time from the B-Stage, Pitts-burgh 1999....It was Luxy's turn to introduce the next version of MR, but her mouth is full of my nuts right now....SO! Latch on, once again, to Midnight Rambler...this time from LA, 7/13/75! OW! Hey easy on the scrote chick! Dig IT!"

I could have special guest Jenna Jameson...even Brittany Spears! Man, I could bust Britt's hyman on air!!! Think of the ratings for that!

So, Brit-hunny, you tried to sing (Can't get no)Satisfaction...well chickypie, I got 7" of pure white satisfaction for ya right here! BAM! See that was easy! I know, you can't believe you were denying yourself this kind of pleasure...I had the same thought. Now, pull your panties back up and get the fuck out of my DJ booth, you little fucking whore. And don't EVER try to sing another Stones song, ya dumb little cunt!"

Can I cuss a lot? I cuss a lot, and I hate censorship.
08-06-02 11:40 AM
Maxlugar We need a smarmy salesman type. Hows about Joey or Steelie? Can they sell time? Or would it only be asking for trouble sending them on the road together and sharing all those hotel rooms? Should KMAX offer insurance for "domestic partners"?

Also, we need a saucy, big busted receptionist with big blonde hair. How big is Gypsy'

Developing hysterically.........

Maxy, KMAX morning guy.
08-06-02 11:48 AM
Nasty Habits Am I hired back? If I am, I should like to have the 7-11 p.m. shift following Mr. Riffhard.

If not, why in the hell did you ever hire and then ENCOURAGE a guy to drink too much coffee and too much bourbon while on the job - of COURSE he's gonna lip to the boss.

Sir Stones brings up an interesting point - is this an All-Rolling-Stones-All-The-Time kind of a thing or is it more of a Rolling-Stones-And-Music-That-Goes-Along-with-the-ideals-typified-by-the-music-of-the-Rolling-Stones kind of a thing?

I'm wondering whether Joey would work best in sales (good!) or as the newscaster (better!)

08-06-02 11:51 AM
Sir Stonesalot Oh. You got the mornings already...OK, I'll do the lunch shift then. That works for me too...sleep late, party into the musty darkness...

Can I still cuss a lot during the lunch shift? And bust Britt's hyman?
08-06-02 11:57 AM
Nasty Habits You guys should definitely do a morning show together. Whether or not you would feel weird about committing sex acts in front of each other or not would dictate the hymen piercing factor.

08-06-02 12:16 PM
Maxlugar No, no S. Stonesalot, I was writing my post when you were writing yours.

The mornin's are yours! I'll do the late night shift and play rarities and Jeff Beck stuff.

I'll let you know when you should start.

I think we should play mostly Stones and have lots of all Stones weekends but we should limit our selves. We should play other stuff but only cool other stuff.

Venus Fly Max!
08-06-02 01:09 PM
Joey "I'm wondering whether Joey would work best in sales (good!) or as the newscaster (better!) "

Joey is definitely the Les Nesman type !

Oh the humanity ...................." As God as my witness , I really thought that Turkeys could fly . "

What is that golfer's name again ????? You know , the elderly Latin gentleman on the Senior Circuit ..............what's his name " CHI CHI RODGUIZE " ???????

Joe .................

Fly .................

Joe Fly

08-06-02 01:47 PM
Scot Rocks Good thing we got plenty of lawyers here as it looks like u will be needing them!!!!!!lol

btw this is a great thread!!!

08-06-02 03:33 PM
Sir Stonesalot Hey Maxy! I just had a great idea....why don't we work it out so that your shift overlaps part of mine....say from 6A-7A...isn't that when most people are getting ready for work? We can make people piss themselves in the shower. We can do crank wake up calls to people who just got off of the night shift...but mostly we can just friggin' rock people on their way to another dreary day!

Oh boy this will be fun.
08-06-02 06:06 PM
Maxlugar Right on Stonesalot.

We need to get Bill Wyman to take a shift.

He knows all about the Stones!

08-06-02 07:47 PM
Sir Stonesalot Hey we need to hire the mysterious "Monkey Man of India" as our security guy.

Never know when we'll need to dish out a vicious hand scratching to some unruly listener who keeps requesting Bon Jovi.

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