|Ten Thousand Motels
||A ridiculous rock 'n' roll notion, or a new trend in tribute bands?
Friday, July 28, 2006
Plain Dealer Columnist
COURTESY OF THE GERMSREUNION OR ABSURD TRIBUTE ACT?: Punk nihilist legends the Germs, who hit the Agora Tuesday, have reformed. Uh, well, not exactly. The band has an actor, Shane West playing the role of Germs singer and visionary Darby Crash -- who died of a heroin overdose and took the band with him in 1980.
I've seen the future of rock 'n' roll. It's an absurd tribute act.
I came to that realization after hearing the Germs were coming to Cleveland -- Tuesday at the Agora, 5000 Euclid Ave. 8:30 p.m. $15. Call 216-241-5555.
You know, those Germs -- the Los Angeles punk nihilist legends who broke up in 1980.
Well, they didn't just break up. Their run died when a heroin overdose claimed the life of Germs singer, leader and punk icon Darby Crash.
Hey, no problem! The band is back anyway -- with Shane West playing the role of Crash.
Maybe West can pull it off. He's an actor who not only plays a doctor on "ER," but also plays Crash in a soon-to-be-released biopic, "What We Do Is Secret."
At first, I found the idea absurd. Then I realized it's just another step in the Absurd Evolution of the Tribute Act.
Why bother doing something new when you can take liberties with the past? What a 21st-century idea!
So, I was hanging out with a buddy, Frank, and we began talking about starting our own tribute act. With a "new" twist, of course.
Why pay homage to one band when you could combine two very different bands and end up with something truly original? For instance:
AC/DC Talk: Christian takes on AC/DC songs: "Highway to Heaven" and "Heaven's Bells."
UTupac: Uplifting Irish anthems about thug life in the 'hood.
REMinem: Politically correct folk songs about spousal abuse.
Pink Floyd's The Wallflowers: Bland visions of a totalitarian future with a softly lighted laser show.
Minutemen at Work: Politically charged punk about vegemite sandwiches.
Dead Boyz II Men: Anti-social foreplay music.
Blood, Sweat and Tears for Fears: Synth-pop for horns.
Too Much Joy Division: Comedy rock about committing suicide.
Lynyrd Cohen: Poetic love songs about guns and rednecks.
BB King Diamond: Chicago blues-metal devoted to Satan and sung in Swedish.
Steely Danzig: Ponderous musicianship crossed with ponderous grunting.
After I brought up the idea with my co-workers, they started forming their own tributes: Barry Whitesnake; Three Dog Night Ranger; Gang of Four Tops; Grateful Dead Kennedys; Kajagoogoo Dolls; The Notorious B.I.G. Audio Dynamite.
If you have any ideas, let me know. Or better yet, let me know when your absurd tribute band is playing out. I'll be there.
To reach this Plain Dealer columnist:
[Edited by Ten Thousand Motels]
||What's blues metal?
||Who's Petkovic to talk? Didn't he used to front the now-forgotten post-punk band "Death of Samantha"?