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| Voodoo Scrounge |
Hi
My girlfriend of 3 years just left me. I didnt do anything wrong and I love her so much. She is four years younger than me and says that she didnt want to get too serious anymore.
Some female advice on what she is thinking would be greatly appreciated and also some advice on how to get over this.
I feel like my heart has been torn out with a spoon!
Its not often that guys like me get emotional, but at the moment I am really considering just packing in. I even started thinking of ways to kill myself1 This is how bad I feel. |
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| Jumacfly |
Hi mate
Hang on!
Life is not over, you got many many things to live...try to focus on yourself to be as cool as possible, the most important is to feel good right now, I know it s hard times but you still got Stones, Football, your friends, us ( )...
The doc recommends the listening of "It won t take long" several time a day, very appropriate tune isn t it?
be strong and beautiful too (but not in the James Blunt way of course)
cheers
jU
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| Voodoo Scrounge |
Thanks Ju.
I try really hard to think of all the good things in my life, then I just get back on a downer.
You know what really upsets me the most? and Im sure its the same with all breakups, but I cant stand the thought of her with another man. It tears me up inside. |
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| stonedinaustralia |
keep this in mind...
I been double-crossed now for the very last time and now I'm finally free,
I kissed goodbye the howling beast on the borderline which separated you from me.
You'll never know the hurt I suffered nor the pain I rise above,
And I'll never know the same about you, your holiness or your kind of love,
And it makes me feel so sorry.
Idiot wind, blowing through the buttons of our coats,
Blowing through the letters that we wrote.
Idiot wind, blowing through the dust upon our shelves,
We're idiots, babe.
It's a wonder we can even feed ourselves.
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| Voodoo Scrounge |
We never had one argument in our three years together.
I never once even thought about cheating on her or flirting with another girl.
She has remained faithful to me.
She was my first and only true love.
I treated her like a queen.
So why does she want to leave me?
I feel like Im being punnished and I havent done anything wrong! |
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| Jumacfly |
quote:
Voodoo Scrounge wrote:
You know what really upsets me the most? and Im sure its the same with all breakups, but I cant stand the thought of her with another man. It tears me up inside.
you re welcome.
Are you sure she's got a new guy?
It's a classic projection, I lived the same situation a few years ago.
But I knew she left me for another guy.Of course it's quite dramatic but well what can you do for that?
Strictly anything, becuz it's her decision and now she feels free to do whatever she wants.
The good side of the problem is that you can also do what you want.
You will live a few hard days.
Take time for you.
Then will come the time to call your friends to clean up your mind.
Having fun is the best therapy, even if it's easier to say that than to do it.
just my 2 cents off.
see ya
jU
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| Voodoo Scrounge |
quote:
Jumacfly wrote:
Are you sure she's got a new guy?
It's a classic projection, I lived the same situation a few years ago.
But I knew she left me for another guy.Of course it's quite dramatic but well what can you do for that?
Strictly anything, becuz it's her decision and now she feels free to do whatever she wants.
The good side of the problem is that you can also do what you want.
I know that she hasnt got another guy, but if she is not with me then shewill eventually find someone and thats a horrible thought |
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| Factory Girl |
Listen to Let It Loose from Exile. Its such an emotional song.
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| Jumacfly |
quote:
Voodoo Scrounge wrote:
I know that she hasnt got another guy, but if she is not with me then shewill eventually find someone and thats a horrible thought
that s quite possible, let's face it.
but she may need time to forget you too.
you ll be in her heart forever as her first lover.
but you know, if we call that "first love", it s becuz you will live many other great love stories!
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| Zeeta |
Just get loaded for 'bout 2 weeks - by that time you'll have forgotten all about the little minx.
Also, it's a cliche but a true cliche 'time heals'.
So I reckon 2 weeks inebriated should see you right! |
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| Jumacfly |
quote:
Zeeta wrote:
Just get loaded for 'bout 2 weeks - by that time you'll have forgotten all about the little minx.
Also, it's a cliche but a true cliche 'time heals'.
So I reckon 2 weeks inebriated should see you right!
To help VS Im ready to send the pipe in England! |
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| stonedinaustralia |
quote:
Zeeta wrote:
Just get loaded for 'bout 2 weeks - by that time you'll have forgotten all about the little minx.
Also, it's a cliche but a true cliche 'time heals'.
So I reckon 2 weeks inebriated should see you right!
sound advice |
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| FotiniD |
quote:
Zeeta wrote:
Also, it's a cliche but a true cliche 'time heals'.
True as hell.
It hurts, it stings, life seems pointless, meaningless and boring, there's a nasty feeling that just won't quit in everything you do...
And THEN you wake up one morning and it feels a little better. And then a little more. Until you keep the good memories in your heart and you move on.
There's no telling what's in her mind - sometimes people are just on different timeframes. You may think it's all lovely and wonderful and perfect, and the other person is already on a different level altogether. Some people are afraid of intimacy, especially at younger ages and when things are looking good. Strange creatures we are, aren't we? But it happens. I don't think there's anything you could have done or anything you can do if a person's made up their mind. It sucks and it's unfair, but hell, that's the way it is.
And I know it all sounds bogus now and you may feel like you won't recover, but trust us, you will. Hang on, have faith, fill your hours with something that makes you feel a little better (friends, fun, walks, music, food, whatever does it) and try not to think about it. Don't add more drama to it. Try to see the larger picture.
It's hard, but it's possible.
You'll be OK. |
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| TampabayStone |
quote:
Voodoo Scrounge wrote:
I know that she hasnt got another guy, but if she is not with me then shewill eventually find someone and thats a horrible thought
Hang out with your friends, it won't be any fun for awhile, but it's good for you. It's ok to talk to them about it, but give yourself like a week and then just stop. It's no good to keep rehashing it over and over and your friends will soon tire of it anyway. You can't think about what she is up to, it really does not matter anymore. There is no telling what is going on in her head, but it is you you need to worry about. Many of of have been through this and it will get better. You muscle your way through it and you will be proud of yourself and know you can do anything.
TBS |
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| Some Guy |
Don't call her or do a drive by, give her and yourself some time. Exercise hard, run or start running. Either way you will be better off. And don't call her!
And Swingers is a great movie now, baby.
[Edited by Some Guy] |
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| Ten Thousand Motels |
Ha! Voodoo Scrounge I'm sorry you're feeling bad. We've all been through it though. I learned, although rather late in life, not to give a shit anymore about stuff like that. Just remember life's not a waltz...it's a square dance. |
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| not bound to please |
Be grateful that when time does heal - you had a good relationship and will not feel deadness towards her.
At least you didn't have kids and messy stuff like that. Your only chains will be memories, and you need not let those become chains. It's just a chapter in your life. It shall get better, and as the cliche goes - a door closed opens another...
Do you do any sort of art? That will help.
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| Some Guy |
quote:
not bound to please wrote:
Be grateful that when time does heal - you had a good relationship and will not feel deadness towards her.
At least you didn't have kids and messy stuff like that. Your only chains will be memories, and you need not let those become chains. It's just a chapter in your life. It shall get better, and as the cliche goes - a door closed opens another...
Do you do any sort of art? That will help.
good advice. |
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| Saint Sway |
Voodoo Scrounge,
I know this a tough time for you. But...
believe me when I tell you this....
your next girlfriend will be younger and hotter and greater in every way!!
and you will flaunt her in that bitches face. Big time!
and as sad and awful as you are feeling now, nothing will feel greater than that.
hang in there!
to paraphrase Some Guy: "soon that bitch will rue the day!"
trust me. |
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| Some Guy |
And don't call her. |
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| TampabayStone |
quote:
Some Guy wrote:
And don't call her.
If you listen to anything, listen to that. And as someguy said before..no drivebys. No drunk dials (not even to tell her off)!!!! |
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| StickyFishFingers |
Mate sorry to hear about your pain. I've been there too just like everyone else here probably has also. It's hard to not offer advice that doesn't sound like/or is a cliche' but the fact of the matter is the cliche's often are the best advice as you will no doubt realise later down the track.
Some suggestions I have for you and this is based on my own experience - it's ok to feel sorry for yourself but not to the point where you may harm yourself - don't let that happen coz life will get better and the cool thing is you'll reach a point where all of a sudden one day you'll realise how cool it is to be a bachelor again & be excited about all the possibilities that will come your way in the next chapter of your life. Secondly don't listen to too many sad songs - it's an easy temptation to but honestly sad songs when you're feeling really down are not a positive thing. I made this mistake when it happened to me years ago - every day i constantly played Aerosmiths 'What it takes' & the Beatles 'Fool on the hill' bad mistake. And finally - get all the things your ex left behind, & any possessions you have that remind you of her eg photos of her etc - either get rid of themm burn them if you have to or pack it all up & ask a good friend to midn it for you so that it's out of sight. I once heard a psychologist say that this is a good thing to do when a relationship ends because as soon as you do the emotional scars start healing. You'll get over it mate - even if right now you don't want to. Hang in there dude. Listen to some rockin' Stones and try and be cool. |
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| parmeda |
quote:
Voodoo Scrounge wrote:
I feel like my heart has been torn out with a spoon!
Its not often that guys like me get emotional, but at the moment I am really considering just packing in. I even started thinking of ways to kill myself1 This is how bad I feel.
Oh, Scrounge...heed the advise of some wonderful suggestions for you to overcome these feelings.
I can only add this: It's her loss, not yours. And I am a firm believer of "What goes around, comes around...". It may not happen soon enough to your liking, but it will. It always does. If she only left because she doesn't want to "get serious"...bullshit, there's more to it than just that. Let her run and she should pray the door doesn't hit her in her ass on the way out...
It saddens me to even read your pain. But this is a good thing that you've decided to do, by airing it all out.
Don't do anything foolish.
Your life is more precious than anything.
Grieve, and take your time...but stay in close contact with your family and friends, AND US TOO!...and you will see that time does heal the pain.
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| Saint Sway |
Scrounge,
you are standing on the threshold of being able to go out and bang as many hot young chicks as your heart desires.
SEIZE THE DAY!!! |
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| sirmoonie |
quote:
Voodoo Scrounge wrote:
......and also some advice on how to get over this.
One word: Get completely fucking ripped every day for a month and sleep with every woman you can. In the end, you won't even know where to find a clean pair of socks, much less worrying about your Ex.
This is a tried and true method, I'm surprised so few people know about it. |
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| Saint Sway |
BANG EVERYTHING!!!! |
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| Ten Thousand Motels |
quote:
sirmoonie wrote:
.... and sleep with every woman you can.
You'd make Wilt proud. |
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| Some Guy |
Man up! |
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| Saint Sway |
DON'T CALL!!! |
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| not bound to please |
quote:
sirmoonie wrote:
One word: Get completely fucking ripped every day for a month and sleep with every woman you can. In the end, you won't even know where to find a clean pair of socks, much less worrying about your Ex.
This is a tried and true method, I'm surprised so few people know about it.
use protection - and have a bucket nearby!
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