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| mac_daddy |
this is the kind of sh*t that always seems like a good idea at the time...
JULY 8--A teenaged couple having sex as they sped along a New Jersey road were seriously injured Monday night when their car crashed into a utility pole, according to the below police accident report. Cops arriving at the Vineland accident scene found driver Carl Nunez, 18, naked from the waist down and noticed passenger Nicole Dougherty's underwear on the auto's passenger seat. Investigators also discovered an open bottle of Corona beer--and the broken remains of a second bottle--in the crumpled Mitsubishi Mirage. According to the accident report, witness Nery Veliz told cops that he was driving behind the speeding Mitsubishi and saw "a white female who appeared to be naked climb on top of the driver and move as if they were having sex." The vehicle then veered off the roadway, Veliz reported, first striking a mailbox and then slamming into the telephone pole. Neither Nunez or Doughtery, 18, was wearing a seat belt, according to investigators. Nunez was cited for driving without insurance, though additional charges could result from an ongoing police investigation.
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0708043nunez1.html |
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| mac_daddy |
more from the news desk...
(is there a Paul Cunningham registered here..?)
Police: Stoned Student Steals Car From Airport, Gets Lost
POSTED: 8:43 am PDT July 12, 2004
CANAAN, Conn. -- A Delaware college student ate a bag of hallucinogenic mushrooms and drove around in a pair of stolen cars before arriving, confused, on a mountain in northwest Connecticut police said.
Paul Cunningham, 21, hiked to a nearby home Thursday night and asked to call 911, police said.
"I think I stole a car," Cunningham told a dispatcher. "I'm not sure."
Police said Cunningham, of Dover, Del., confessed that eating an entire bag of mushrooms, "probably wasn't a good idea." He allegedly told investigators that he had no idea how many laws he broke during a three-day excursion that took him 300 miles from home.
A student at Wilmington College, he told a state trooper that he bought the drugs in Dover on Monday, according to the Republican-American of Waterbury. The next day, he went for a drive and twice got lost in Connecticut.
He told police he remembers taking a train to LaGuardia Airport in New York, where he found a car with its keys in it. He's unsure where he went from there.
"I once again found myself lost in Connecticut," Cunningham reportedly told police.
After locking the keys in the stolen car, Cunningham allegedly stole a van from a Southbury rest stop.
In Canaan, he decided to climb Music Mountain to see what was on the other side, police said. Investigators believe the exercise cleared Cunningham's head.
"I want to correct my mistakes," Cunningham reportedly told Trooper Andre Roy. "In retrospect, this was a bad idea."
He volunteered a written confession, police said. He was arraigned Friday and was held on $2,500 bail. Both stolen vehicles were recovered.
http://www.nbc4.tv/news/3520190/detail.html |
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| jpenn11 |
Apparently, this sort of thing happens more frequently than one might expect:
Love Struck
2003 Darwin Award Nominee
Confirmed True by Darwin
"Why don't we do it in the road?" -Beatles
(3 March 2002, Sheffield, England) As Kim Fontana, 32, and Paul Cowley, 40, left the pub, they noticed that a streetlight was burned out, creating an attractive pool of darkness on the road. Unable to rein in their passion, they began to canoodle on the asphalt outside the pub.
Witnesses said the couple was lying right on the white line, kissing and cuddling. The passionate pair were warned of the danger of their chosen position not once, not twice, but three times -- by a car driver, a bus driver, and a pedestrian.
An off-duty paramedic honked three times and shouted, "You want to get up, or otherwise you�ll be run over." The man simply said "Cheers, mate," and the paramedic heard a female voice laughing. A bus driver swerved to avoid them, and drove past with wheels on the curb. A concerned pedestrian shouted to warn them that another bus was headed their way.
Despite these disruptions, Kim and Paul continued, oblivious to the approach of a small, single-decker Nipper bus. The bus driver mistook the undulating shape for a bag of rubbish in the poorly lit street, and was unable to stop in time. There was a dull thud...
Kim and Paul were struck and killed at midnight. Paramedics found Kim lying on her back with her jumper pulled up, and Paul between her legs with his trousers pulled down.
The only downside to this timely removal of lunacy from the gene pool is the fate of the bus driver. Despite the couple's own actions, and a police investigator's statement that "one can expect a pedestrian walking or running in the road, but to expect a driver to anticipate a pedestrian lying in the road is out of the ordinary" -- a judge felt that "his driving fell below the standard one would reasonably expect of a prudent, competent driver."
The bus driver was fined for careless driving and his license was revoked for six months. Fortunately, his employers consider him an excellent employee, and plan to give him other duties for six months. Relatives of the victims said they were glad the driver had kept his job.
www.darwinawards.com
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| jpenn11 |
Maybe they should give Paul a medal, since he didn't have a gun:
Shooting Blanks
2003 Darwin Award Nominee
Confirmed True by Darwin
(11 March 2003, Spain) Early one morning, police received a call warning that three robbers had invaded the bar of a Madrid brothel. The police dispatched several units, and confirmed that the call was true. Officers surrounded the building, and used a bullhorn to coax the offenders from the premises.
The robbers, understandably frightened, found themselves in an untenable situation inside a building surrounded by dozens of policemen. Their subsequent actions may have been influenced by the ready availability of alcohol. Instead of surrendering, they decided to go out in a blaze of glory, and tried to escape while shooting at everything in sight.
The policemen ducked, covered, and proceeded to shoot back at the running robbers. Two were fatally injured, and the third was wounded in his right leg.
Why was the gunfight over so quickly? The three robbers were carrying REAL guns loaded with FAKE ammunition. They were firing blanks, making enough sound and light to fool the police into shooting back, but not enough to actually help them escape.
Top o' the world Mom! |
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| Sir Stonesalot |
I used to have a girlfriend who liked to blow me while I was driving....not all the time, of course...but at least once or twice a week. I had a '72 Chevelle, 400 small block. She said it was the way the car rumbled and vibrated...it turned her on.
We'd be toolin' down the road, and next thing you know she'd be wackin' off. Then after she gushed on my seat(I spent a small fortune on seat covers!), she'd lean over and blow me.
God I loved that car.
The only other car I had that got me as much pussy was an orange '69 VW Bug. What is it about a Bug that chicks think is so hot? I had to modify the passenger seat to fold back all the way....after that, it was a pretty fun car to fuck in. But before I did that...you had to be a damn contortionist! And don't even get me started about the damn gearshifter!
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| egon |
I used to drive a VW golf.
And Believe me, NOTHING ever happens in a golf. |
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| charlotte |
Sir Stonesalot, I too had a '72 Chevelle and my friend had a '69 VW Bug, those cars were sex machines! The ladies on the Beach's of the SC and Florida coast went berserk!! |
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| Sir Stonesalot |
LOL!
Good taste Char...impeccable taste!
I am about to get a '73 Stingray...a red one...wonder what happens with one of those? |
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| telecaster |
quote:
Sir Stonesalot wrote:
LOL!
Good taste Char...impeccable taste!
I am about to get a '73 Stingray...a red one...wonder what happens with one of those?
Nothing happens. I had one. Oh wait, I was married at the time so nothing was happening anywhere
Nevermind |
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| Sir Stonesalot |
Shit, Tele...I'm depressed now.
I was hoping that Stingray would help get me unmarried! |
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| Factory Girl |
Stonesy, you're unmarried here in Rocks Off. |
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