||While we're waiting... how will the Stones market this tour?
1) STAR STAR TREK
The Rolling Stones captain their own starship, the USS Blimprider and get into all sorts of adventures. Stars Mick Jagger as the shrewd businessman and snappy-dressing captain in bad standing with Earth for several convictions of unlicensed dancing on the bridge; Keith Richards as the security officer offering No Security as his communiques are often incomprehensable; Ronnie Wood as alien life form first mate known for downing grog at the helm; and Charlie Watts as the robotic head of engineering who quietly holds the whole ship together, providing immaculate work but not really caring about it.
2) ER MINI-SERIES
NBC graciously welcomes several guest stars for special August episodes of the drama ER. When George Clooney is recalled to solve the case of two hospital patients (Mick Jagger and Billy Preston) who have traded STDs, matters are complicated when he exits the hospital with both diseases and a Batman mask while humming "When The Whip Comes Down". The hospital staff is baffled in an unfolding side story when Keith Richards and Ronnie Wood trick Charlie Watts into checking into rehab in their places by telling him they'd be holding rehersal for a new jazz band in the main ward.
3) TOUCHED BY AN ANGEL
On the award-winning CBS drama, Ian Stuart visits Earth to bother the Stones. When reminded that he has always done this no matter how bad they actually were, he mutters and returns to heaven. Features Nicky Hopkins as the quiet angel of Humility.
Superman is puzzled by a tall strange woman, her face obscured by her long hair and pasty makeup, hanging around the bar selling kryptonite. When he follows her home, he discovers that it actually is Mick Taylor, circa 1969. Nothing comes of this time warp, since Superman sends Taylor home and destroys it, but it comes back to haunt him Keith Richards accientally drops a chunk of the 'nite out of the blimp in the season finale, beaning and killing Superman.
5) SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE
Scandal rocks the rapidly failing late-night comedy show and brings its ratings a boost when Mick Jagger licks Ronnie Wood's lips on live TV.
Hey, wait a minute...
Any more? Hey, don't knock it - it's better than what's on TV now...
-tYSX --- Never mix Aspirin, Diet Pepsi and trace amounts of alcohol late at night or you *will* start posting like this.