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A Bigger Bang Tour 2006

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Topic: Tune into Fox News right now! LOL! Diamond Dave! Return to archive Page: 1 2
16th June 2006 04:42 PM
Riffhard God this guys a joke. He has hit the wall. Most men age gracefully. Not so for DLR.



Riffy
16th June 2006 04:43 PM
Saint Sway he keeps on grinnin
16th June 2006 04:46 PM
Some Guy I caught the tail end, Thanks what did he say about a reunion??
16th June 2006 04:50 PM
Saint Sway
quote:
Some Guy wrote:
what did he say about a reunion??



"He who knows how will always work for he who knows why."

and then he laughed and grinned like a mental patient
16th June 2006 04:51 PM
Some Guy he looked allright to me.
16th June 2006 04:51 PM
Saint Sway then he said

"It doesn't get better, it doesn't get worse, but it sure gets different!"

then he laughed at his own joke and grinned like a mental patient
16th June 2006 04:52 PM
Some Guy Did he mention Eddie?
16th June 2006 04:54 PM
Saint Sway
quote:
Some Guy wrote:
Did he mention Eddie?



he said

"Money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it. "

then he laughed at his own joke and grinned like a mental patient in the psych ward of the looney bin
16th June 2006 04:56 PM
Saint Sway
quote:
Saint Sway wrote:

"Money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it. "

then he laughed at his own joke and grinned like a mental patient in the psych ward of the looney bin



then he added:

"You've got to constantly reinvest your enthusiasm for livin' large, marge, so large you need a barge!"

then he let out a "bow zee bow zee bob!" and grinned like a freak suckin on laughin gas
16th June 2006 04:57 PM
Some Guy Sway you are tripping me out dude! Truly funny! Unless its true.
16th June 2006 04:59 PM
Saint Sway honest to God he actual said THIS:

"What I did with Eddie Van Halen is as familiar as the McDonald’s arches or the Nike swoosh. You can’t get through a sporting event, or at least a contact sporting event, on television without hearing me sing some verb to you, whether it’s Jump or whatever. Song’s like Hot For Teacher are as familiar as homeroom. Although now when I get spanked by a ruler it costs me a hundred dollars extra. Oh, there’s the drum roll. And, at this point in time the Devil should be runnin’ with me. Boom, shheee! Oh, there it is again. Actually, the ice cream truck should be playing my song. That’s how familiar it is, somewhere between Ms. Nelson’s third period homeroom and the ice cream truck."

then his eyes bulged out of his head and he grinned like The Joker on Crystal Meth
16th June 2006 05:02 PM
Some Guy Reunion talk?? Whats up?? This could be huge!
Bo Zee Bo Zee Bop Zitty Bop.
16th June 2006 05:04 PM
Saint Sway
quote:
Some Guy wrote:
Reunion talk?? Whats up?? This could be huge!
Bo Zee Bo Zee Bop Zitty Bop.



he answered that one dead on. He said:

"I have a very belligerent enthusiasm or an enthusiastic belligerence. I’m an intellectual slut."

then his head spun around and he grinned so wide that Michael Anthony fell out of his mouth.
16th June 2006 05:05 PM
Some Guy I am laughing!!
16th June 2006 05:09 PM
Saint Sway he's got some solo dates coming up. He plugged em pretty nicely too. He said:

"'DLR Band' means Dave, Lowery, and Ray. I named it that because it sounds more like a band then 'David Lee Roth,' which just sounds like a person. When you hear 'David Lee Roth'--you think of a person. When you hear 'DLR Band'--you think of a band. Just like when you hear 'Eddie Van Halen' you think of a person, and when you hear 'Van Halen'--you think of David Lee Roth."

then he let out a huge ass grin and started banging a set of cymbals together like one of those battery operated toy monkeys
16th June 2006 05:10 PM
glencar This show is usually rebroadcast at 1AM EST. I'll skip it though.
16th June 2006 05:12 PM
Some Guy I am gonna fall right out of my fucking chair!
16th June 2006 05:15 PM
Saint Sway
quote:
Some Guy wrote:
Reunion talk??



he said:
"People ask me, "so what about Van Halen today?" I tell 'em "hey I'm not in it, I don't give a shit." They say "so what about Valerie Bertinelli?" I say, "same answer."

then he winked and grinded a cement brick in between his teeth until it turned into a diamond!

16th June 2006 05:17 PM
Some Guy Good times man!
16th June 2006 05:24 PM
Saint Sway
quote:
Some Guy wrote:

Bo Zee Bo Zee Bop Zitty Bop.



right back at ya:

""Hippitty bip-bop-bop-boppin' down in Glen Ellen Regional Park baby! That's right, Van Halen in Glen Ellen - makes sense to me see! I'm talkin' a full moon, a sea of faces, oceans of beer, have no fear! Heard ya missed me, I'm back! Diamond is here."

then he did a back flip and started laughin like a Hyena on trucker speed
16th June 2006 05:28 PM
Some Guy That is funny, but you must admit a Classic Van Halen album and tour would be bigger than Star Wars.
16th June 2006 05:28 PM
glencar Time's long past for them.
16th June 2006 05:29 PM
Saint Sway
quote:
Some Guy wrote:
Good times man!



they asked him about returning to radio. He said:

"I remember being on the very first 'Joan Rivers Show' and I remember it vividly 'cause she was saying, 'At the Van Halen shows these days, people are holding up signs saying 'Screw David Lee Roth!''--and I'm thinkin', 'Is that advice?'"

then he laughed so hard that 8 of his ribs burst out his skin and he picked them up off the floor and started simultaneously juggling them while tap dancing!!!
16th June 2006 05:31 PM
Saint Sway
quote:
glencar wrote:
Time's long past for them.



not according to Diamond Dave!

"We took these two little people with us on tour, Jimmy and Danny, as my bodyguards. They're probably 3 1/2, 4 1/2 feet tall. We had 'em in 'S.W.A.T." uniforms. If nothing else, I can wake up in Tunafish, Wyoming, nine in the morning, hung-over; even if I'm miserable, I can look out the door to the hallway and there goes a midget in a bath towel holding the hand of a girl he was with last night--and I know I'm in rock 'n' roll!"

then his head shook so hard from laughing and grinding his teeth that his comb over flew off!
16th June 2006 05:32 PM
Some Guy No shit dude I have been laughing so hard I got an ab workout in.
16th June 2006 05:36 PM
Saint Sway
quote:
Some Guy wrote:
No shit dude I have been laughing so hard I got an ab workout in.



"Like a thunderbolt in your Cheerios, son, wake up and smell the toxic waste. They took it out of my pop tarts just when I was getting used to the taste. Actually, I haven’t been to sleep since the late Eighties. How do I look?"

then he did a series of karate chops for no apparent reason.
16th June 2006 05:37 PM
Some Guy Stop it, I just peed a little.
16th June 2006 05:43 PM
Saint Sway
quote:
Some Guy wrote:
That is funny, but you must admit a Classic Van Halen album and tour would be bigger than Star Wars.



I know Dave believes it:

"Young musicians are always coming up to me and asking how do you know when you've made it. When you can spell subpoena without thinking about it, that's when you know you've made it."

then he took his shirt off and started laughing uncontrollably and scratching his arm pits
16th June 2006 05:47 PM
Some Guy
quote:
glencar wrote:
Time's long past for them.


yeah who would want to see a bunch of 50 year or so old rockers trying to relive past glorys?
16th June 2006 05:50 PM
Saint Sway
quote:
Some Guy wrote:
Stop it, I just peed a little.



SG, this last ones for you... I'm gonna follow DLR's advice on this one and go and get a cocktail or three dozen.

"I think people want the balance more than ever. You know, plant an Ethiopian, feed the rain forest, save the ozone layer--you gotta have that! "Oh woe is me," as a form of self-dramatization, is always fun. It shouldn't be replaced, but there should be a balance. Sooner or later, it's Miller time! Sooner or later, there is some hallelujah, watusi-tailgate, light-up-the-goddamn-sky-it's-finally-the-weekend, okay? And I don't care whether you wear a cowboy hat or your hair is purple, I don't care if you have a wedding ring or a clit ring, sooner or later, there's Miller time! That doesn't mean simple belly laughs, and it doesn't mean high-brow. It just means, "Wanna go have a drink?"

then his eyes popped out of his and he held a smile ear-to-ear for 1 minute and 47 seconds while snapping his suspenders with his thumbs
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