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Topic: Michael Jackson Denies Ringo Starr Sale (NSC) Return to archive
June 18th, 2005 09:34 PM
Ten Thousand Motels Michael Jackson Denies Ringo Starr Sale
By Chip Hilton
Jun 18, 2005, 11:05

SANTA YNEZ, Calif. - Last night Michael Jackson's family and fans—and one of the jurors who had acquitted him of child molestation earlier in the week—gathered at a huge party that was billed as a celebration of thanks. The party, an invitation only affair, was held at the Chumash Indian Casino.

Jackson, who has not appeared in public since his trial ended, was nowhere in sight, but a publicist for Jackson used the occasion to deny that the not-guilty singer is planning to sell Beatle Ringo Starr in order to raise money to pay legal bills and other expenses. Starr, who was said to be "on call" at Neverland ranch, was not available for comment at the time.

"The rumors about Michael selling Ringo are the work of a corrupt, racist media," said the Jackson publicist. "Michael never had any intention of parting with Ringo, despite what the press reported. He and Ringo have become such good friends that Michael no longer requires Ringo to wear a uniform to work, and he even allows Ringo to live in his own house."

Jackson purchased Starr for an estimated $13.5 million in 1985 when the former Beatles drummer took the unprecedented step of selling himself in return for room and board and a lifetime annual annuity in the low six-figures. Although Jackson's financial advisors had warned him against purchasing Starr, who was unable to play the drums at the time because of his losing struggle with alcoholism, the investment turned out to be profitable. Starr has thrived under Jackson's ownership. He has miraculously regained what little drumming ability he had, and he tours each summer with the Ringo Starr All Stars, a group of washed-up musicians who are astonishingly popular on the nostalgia circuit.

Starr's musical worth is dwarfed, however, by his talents at running errands, doing light house work around Neverland, and playing the fool for the amusement of Jackson's childrenPrince Michael I, Paris, and Prince Michael II. For that reason alone, said the Jackson publicist, Ringo will always have a place in Jackson's portfolio.

"No matter how much Michael was forced to spend to defend himself against the lies and allegations of a corrupt racist media," said the Jackson advisor, "he would never deprive his own flesh and blood of Ringo's company. Michael loves children too much to do that."

Rumors about the impending sale of Starr began to circulate two months ago when the hourly cost of Jackson's defense against child molestation charges surpassed the hourly cost of the Iraqi war. Several of Jackson's minders began pushing him to sell Starr, whose worth was estimated at close to $200 million as a result of Starr's being tapped by Stan Lee, creator of Spider-Man, the X-Men, and the Incredible Hulk, to play an action-figure superhero called Blingo.

Despite Starr's increased value and the press reports of his impending sale, many of Jackson's closest friends said the sale would never happen.

"It's impossible to believe that Michael would sell Ringo," said Jackson confidante and advisor Liza Minnelli. "What if Ringo was bought by someone who only wanted to trot him out to perform parlor tricks at parties? Or who left him tied out in the backyard all day? Michael wouldn't have been able to sleep with himself if that had happened."

In other news, Oscar-winning actor Sean Penn has rushed to Paris to begin what he termed his "most significant reportorial assignment yet": providing extensive coverage of the Tom Cruise-Katie Holmes engagement.
June 19th, 2005 10:12 AM
Monkey Woman LOl Is that from the Onion?
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