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| Monkeytonkman |
Hey there,
I'm new to this page, not much cop using a computer really, which is a bummer seeng as I'm a college lecturer. anyhoo I was looking around on the internet and found this message board and it blew my balls off.
Seems like fun, everyone seems chilled and havin a good time.
Think I'm gonna stick around and make some new friends.
Much love, take care. |
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| jb |
Welcome!!! It must be nice to be able to see hot co-eds dressed scantily everyday!!! |
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| throbby |
Yes, a very warm welcome indeed Monkeytonkman! |
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| Monkeytonkman |
Gotta tell ya jb, I ain't complaining, especially now the summers coming.
I do love those summertime girls. Hits the right spot
course, you gotta understand, I'm a professional, look but don't touch baby.
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| telecaster |
quote:
jb wrote:
Welcome!!! It must be nice to be able to see hot co-eds dressed scantily everyday!!!
jb I was cutting my lawn the other day and picked up a piece of paper on the lawn. It was a note some high school girl in our neighborhood wrote to her friend about her sex life. Holy Shit! It read like a script to one of joey's pornos. She left all her phone numbers on the note
I don't know whether to A) put it on EBay, B) call her myself C) send it to you for your birthday
Kids these days. We were never like that |
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| Lazy Bones |
Welcome. I hope you find your balls! |
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| Joey |
Welcome!!! It must be nice to be able to see hot co-eds dressed scantily everyday!!! |
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| jb |
quote:
telecaster wrote:
jb I was cutting my lawn the other day and picked up a piece of paper on the lawn. It was a note some high school girl in our neighborhood wrote to her friend about her sex life. Holy Shit! It read like a script to one of joey's pornos. She left all her phone numbers on the note
I don't know whether to A) put it on EBay, B) call her myself C) send it to you for your birthday
Kids these days. We were never like that
Yes Tele, todays kids are a highly sexually charged group into interacial sex and sex enhancing drugs...My understanding is that Oprah had a group on and they have new terms for various sex acts...For example, the practice of several girls giving a guy oral sex using different colored lip-stick to mark the spot is referred to as an "oral rainbow" .... |
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| telecaster |
DON'T STAND SO CLOSE TO ME
Young teacher, the subject
Of schoolgirl fantasy
She wants him so badly
Knows what she wants to be
Inside her there's longing
This girl's an open page
Book marking - she's so close now
This girl is half his age
Don't stand, don't stand so
Don't stand so close to me
Her friends are so jealous
You know how bad girls get
Sometimes it's not so easy
To be the teacher's pet
Temptation, frustration
So bad it makes him cry
Wet bus stop, she's waiting
His car is warm and dry
Don't stand, don't stand so
Don't stand so close to me
Loose talk in the classroom
To hurt they try and try
Strong words in the staffroom
The accusations fly
It's no use, he sees her
He starts to shake and cough
Just like the old man in
That book by Nabakov
Don't stand, don't stand so
Don't stand so close to me
Don't stand, don't stand so
Don't stand so close to me
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| Joey |
"the practice of several girls giving a guy oral sex using different colored lip-stick to mark the spot is referred to as an "oral rainbow" .... "
What you just said is so Beautiful that I am literally crying ..................I don't know WHY I am so Happy .
..........I haven't been this happy since the " Morning- After Pill " went on the market a few years ago .
God I am So Happy !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
" Drinks are on me tonight Everybody ! "
Jercee ! |
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| Joey |
ARTIST: Seals and Crofts
TITLE: Summer Breeze
" See the curtains hanging in the window
In the evening on a Friday night
A little light a-shining through the window
Lets me know every thing's all right
Summer breeze, makes me feel fine
Blowing through the jasmine in my mind
Summer breeze, makes me feel fine
Blowing through the jasmine in my mind
See the paper laying on the sidewalk
A little music from the house next door
So I walk on up to the door step
Through the screen and across the floor
Sweet days of summer, the jasmine's in bloom
July is dressed up and playing her tune
When I come home from a hard day's work
And you're waiting there, not a care in the world
See the smile a waiting in the kitchen
Food cooking and the plates for two
Feel the arms that reach out to hold me
In the evening when the day is through "
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| telecaster |
Afternoon Delight
( Starland Vocal Band )
Gonna find my baby, gonna hold her tight
Gonna grab some afternoon delight
My motto's always been 'when it's right, it's right'
Why wait until the middle of a cold dark night?
When everything's a little clearer in the light of day
And we know the night is always gonna be there any way
Thinkin' of you's workin' up my appetite
Looking forward to a little afternoon delight
Rubbin' sticks and stones together makes the sparks ingite
And the thought of lovin' you is getting so exciting
Sky rockets in flight
Afternoon delight
Afternoon delight
Afternoon delight
Started out this morning feeling so polite
I always though a fish could not be caught who wouldn't bite
But you've got some bait a waitin' and I think I might try nibbling
A little afternoon delight
Sky rockets in flight
Afternoon delight
Afternoon delight
Afternoon delight
Please be waiting for me, baby, when I come around
We could make a lot of lovin' 'for the sun goes down
Thinkin' of you's workin' up my appetite
Looking forward to a little afternoon delight
Rubbin' sticks and stones together makes the sparks ingite
And the thought of lovin' you is getting so exciting
Sky rockets in flight
Afternoon delight
Afternoon delight
Afternoon delight
Afternoon delight!
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| LadyJane |
Welcome, Monkeytonkman!!
See what your first thread has started!!
Now you know why we call this place the asylum!!
LJ. |
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| scratched |
quote:
telecaster wrote:
jb I was cutting my lawn the other day and picked up a piece of paper on the lawn. It was a note some high school girl in our neighborhood wrote to her friend about her sex life. Holy Shit! It read like a script to one of joey's pornos. She left all her phone numbers on the note
I don't know whether to A) put it on EBay, B) call her myself C) send it to you for your birthday
Kids these days. We were never like that
Scan it and post it on here! I wanna see! |
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| Joey |
Thanks Lady Jane .
Tele ..................
What say I buy you Lunch at the " Cattleman's Club " this afternoon ?!?!?! .........Say around " Two - ish ".
Please have your gal call mine .
Bourbon and Branches are on me today ( Daddy Really .. )
J. |
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| beer |
Thanks Joey.
Here ya go:
Rhinestone Cowboy
by Glen Campbell
"I've been walkin' these streets so long
Singin' the same old song
I know every crack in these dirty sidewalks of Broadway
Where hustle's the name of the game
And nice guys get washed away like the snow and the rain
There's been a load of compromisin'
On the road to my horizon
But I'm gonna be where the lights are shinin' on me
Like a rhinestone cowboy
Riding out on a horse in a star-spangled rodeo
Like a rhinestone cowboy
Getting cards and letters from people I don't even know
And offers comin' over the phone
Well, I don't really mind the rain
And a smile can hide all the pain
But you're down when you're ridin' the train that's takin' the long way
And I dream of the things I'll do
With a subway token and a dollar tucked inside my shoe
There�ll been a load of compromisin'
On the road to my horizon
But I'm gonna be where the lights are shinin' on me
Like a rhinestone cowboy
Riding out on a horse in a star-spangled rodeo
Rhinestone cowboy
Gettin' cards and letters from people I don't even know
And offers comin' over the phone
Like a rhinestone cowboy
Riding out on a horse in a star-spangled rodeo
Like a rhinestone cowboy
Gettin' card and letters from people I don't even know"
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| nankerphelge |
Uh oh -- another patient!!!
Enjoy the show brudda...
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| Bloozehound |
Funky Cold Medina
[ VERSE 1 ]
Cold coolin at a bar, and I'm lookin for some action
But like Mike Jagger said, I can't get no satisfaction
The girls are all around, but none of them wanna get with me
My threads are fresh and I'm lookin def, yo, what's up with L-o-c?
The girls is all jockin at the other end of the bar
Havin drinks with some no-name chump, when they know that I'm the star
So I got up and strolled over to the other side of the cantina
I asked the guy, Why you so fly? he said, Funky Cold Medina
Funky Cold Medina
[ VERSE 2 ]
This brother told me a secret on how to get more chicks
Put a little Medina in your glass, and the girls'll come real quick
It's better than any alcohol or aphrodisiac
A couple of sips of this love potion, and she'll be on your lap
So I gave some to my dog when he began to beg
Then he licked his bowl and he looked at me and did the wild thing on my leg
He used to scratch and bite me, before he was much much meaner
But now all the poodles run to my house for the Funky Cold Medina
You know what I'm sayin?
I got every dog in my neighborhood breakin down my door
I got Spuds McKenzie
Alex from Stroh's
They won't leave my dog alone with that Medina, pal
[ VERSE 3 ]
I went up to this girl, she said, Hi, my name is Sheena
I thought she'd be good to go with a little Funky Cold Medina
She said, I'd like a drink, I said, Ehm - ok, I'll go get it
Then a couple sips she cold licked her lips, and I knew that she was with it
So I took her to my crib, and everything went well as planned
But when she got undressed, it was a big old mess, Sheena was a man
So I threw him out, I don't fool around with no Oscar Meyer wiener
You must be sure that the girl is pure for the Funky Cold Medina
You know, ain't no plans with a man
This is the 80's, and I'm down with the ladies
Ya know?
Break it down
[ VERSE 4 ]
Back in the saddle, lookin for a little affection
I took a shot as a contestant on _The Love Connection_
The audience voted, and you know they picked a winner
I took my date to the Hilton for Medina and some dinner
She had a few drinks, I'm thinkin soon what I'll be gettin
Instead she started talkin 'bout plans for our weddin
I said, Wait, slow down, love, not so fast says, I'll be seein ya
That's why I found you don't play around with the Funky Cold Medina
Ya know what I'm sayin
That Medina's a monster, y'all
Funky Cold Medina
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| LadyJane |
Against All Odds (Take a Look At Me Now)
Phil Collins
How can I just let you walk away,
Just let you leave without a trace
When I stand here taking
Every breath with you, ooh
You're the only one
Who really knew me at all
How can you just walk away from me,
When all I can do is
Watch you leave
Cos we've shared the laughter and the pain,
And even shared the tears
You're the only one
Who really knew me at all
So take a look at me now,
'Cos there's just an empty space
And there's nothing left here to remind me,
Just the memory of your face
Take a look at me now,
'Cos there's just an empty space
And you coming back to me
Is against all odds and that's
What I've got to face
I wish I could just make you turn around,
Turn around and see me cry
There's so much I need to say to you,
So many reasons why
You're the only one
Who really knew me at all
So take a look at me now,
'Cos there's just an empty space
And there's nothing left here to remind me,
Just the memory of your face
Take a look at me now,
'Cos there's just an empty space
But to wait for you,
Well that's all I can do and that's
What I've got to face
Take a good look at me now,
'Cos I'll still be standing here
And you coming back to me is against all odds
That's the chance I've got to take, oh, oho
___________________________________________________________
I can't believe I just did this!!!
LOL
LJ. |
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| jb |
quote:
LadyJane wrote:
Against All Odds (Take a Look At Me Now)
Phil Collins
How can I just let you walk away,
Just let you leave without a trace
When I stand here taking
Every breath with you, ooh
You're the only one
Who really knew me at all
How can you just walk away from me,
When all I can do is
Watch you leave
Cos we've shared the laughter and the pain,
And even shared the tears
You're the only one
Who really knew me at all
So take a look at me now,
'Cos there's just an empty space
And there's nothing left here to remind me,
Just the memory of your face
Take a look at me now,
'Cos there's just an empty space
And you coming back to me
Is against all odds and that's
What I've got to face
I wish I could just make you turn around,
Turn around and see me cry
There's so much I need to say to you,
So many reasons why
You're the only one
Who really knew me at all
So take a look at me now,
'Cos there's just an empty space
And there's nothing left here to remind me,
Just the memory of your face
Take a look at me now,
'Cos there's just an empty space
But to wait for you,
Well that's all I can do and that's
What I've got to face
Take a good look at me now,
'Cos I'll still be standing here
And you coming back to me is against all odds
That's the chance I've got to take, oh, oho
___________________________________________________________
I can't believe I just did this!!!
LOL
LJ.
Congrats LJ!!! It's like sex, once you've tried it, you can't wait to do it again!!! |
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| beer |
ANGELES (Reuters) - Bob Dylan (news), Keith Richards (news), Jerry Lee Lewis (news), Kid Rock and Merle Haggard (news) were among the "outlaws and angels" that Willie Nelson (news) brought out on Wednesday for his third annual concert special on USA Network.
Reuters Photo
During a three-hour show, where country music took a back seat to gospel, soul, reggae, jazz and rockabilly, the black-clad Nelson let his many guests take the spotlight. He even left the stage when Toots Hibbert and Ben Harper (news) sang the former's reggae classic "Pressure Drop" together.
The Wiltern Theater event, dubbed "Willie Nelson & Friends: Outlaws and Angels," will air as a two-hour special on Memorial Day, Monday, May 31 at 9:00 p.m. (ET/PT).
Other guests included Al Green (news), Shelby Lynne (news), Rickie Lee Jones (news), Carole King (news), Toby Keith (news), Lucinda Williams (news), Lee Ann Womack (news), the Holmes Brothers, and Los Lonely Boys.
Dylan was among the early performers, singing with Nelson on "You Win Again," a Hank Williams (news) song available on bootleg from Dylan's "Basement Tapes" sessions in the late 1960s.
Richards showed up at the end for "We Had It All," a ballad he covered during sessions for the Rolling Stones' 1980 album Emotional Rescue," and also available on bootleg. He strummed along when Lewis performed "Trouble in Mind" (with Nelson) and "Whole Lot of Shakin' Going On" (with Kid Rock).
"There is that legendary mystery thing that those guys carry around with them, and that's always good, and they never disappoint you," Nelson said of Dylan and Richards during an interview aboard his tour bus before the show. "Jerry Lee Lewis, same way. Merle Haggard. These guys are the real thing."
During rehearsals, Lewis, Nelson and Richards tried to work up a version of "Honky Tonk Women," but Lewis appeared unfamiliar with the song, and it was dropped from the schedule.
Other highlights from the show included Nelson performing "Raining in My Heart" with Green, "Poncho and Lefty" (twice) with Haggard, "Will You Love Me Tomorrow?" with King, and "Stormy Weather" with Lynne.
Reuters/VNU
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=596&e=11&u=/nm/music_nelson_dc
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| jb |
Thanks Beer...I like Keith's hat...better than the fish hooks and bandana...
"Jesus even loves JB"... |
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| caro |
Hi! Welcome!
Virtual Devils Curse Internet Church
Wed May 19,10:05 AM ET Add Oddly Enough - Reuters to My Yahoo!
By Jason Hopps
LONDON (Reuters) - The world's first Internet church has fallen victim to a plague of virtual demons, some of whom have been logging on as Satan and unleashing strings of expletives during sermons.
The "Church of Fools" was launched last week as a unique chance for Christians to worship interactively by choosing a "3D" animated character who could kneel, sing hymns, talk to others, hear a sermon, or shout "Hallelujah."
The site attracts between 5,000 and 10,000 worshippers daily and those who log on can also give money to a collection plate via mobile phone.
But the temptation to misbehave has proved too much for some.
"We have had problems from a small number of worshippers, which happens in any Internet chat room, and we are bothered about individual harassment, which we are taking seriously," said the site's deputy editor, Stephen Goddard.
"We're increasing security day by day to eliminate the disruptive behavior, such as the profanity, but we're determined to carry on...At least we're not preaching to the converted," he added.
The Church, sponsored by the Methodist Church but organized by the multi-denominational "Ship of Fools" project, said it had removed a "shout" function where people could speak to the whole congregation. Some were using it to hurl abuse or yell: "Satan loves you."
The pulpit, altar and lectern areas will be closed to the public after some worshippers walked their animated character into those areas during sermons.
But the strongest measure against the unruly will be the online equivalent of damnation: wardens will be able to smite the wicked by instantly logging them out of the church if they misbehave.
"In a way, we are facing the same problems faced by the first preachers who met resistance when they moved into new communities," said Goddard.
"But the church has always expanded into new communities and some of those are to be found in cyberspace now, so we are determined to carry on."
The Church of Fools is found at www.shipoffools.com.
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| Nasty Habits |
Thanks, Monkeytonk!
Ooh ooh
You might not ever get rich
But let me tell ya it's better than diggin' a ditch
There ain't no tellin' who you might meet
A movie star or maybe even an Indian chief
(Workin')
At the car wash
Workin' at the car wash, girl
Come on and sing it with me
(Car wash)
Sing it with the feelin' ya'all
(Car wash, girl)
Ooh!
Some of the work gets kinda hard
This ain't no place to be if you planned on bein' a star
Let me tell you it's always cool
And the boss don't mind sometimes if you act the fool
At the car wash
Whoa whoa whoa whoa
Talkin' about the car wash, girl
Come on, ya'all and sing it for me
(Car wash)
Oooh oooh oooh
(Car wash, girl)
(Work and work)
Well, those cars never seem to stop coming
(Work and work)
Keep those rags and machines humming
(Work and work)
My fingers to the bone
(Work)
Can't wait till it's time to go home (?)
(Hey, get your car washed today)
Fill up and you don't have to pay
Come on and give us a play
(Do the wash, right away)
(The car wash)
Talkin' 'bout the car wash
Car wash, girl
Come on, ya'all, let's sing it with me
(Car wash)
Sing it with feelin', ya'all
(Car wash, girl)
Whoa whoa whoa whoa
(Car wash)
Never seem to stop comin'
What'd I say
Keep those rags and machines hummin'
(Car wash)
Let me tell you, it's always cool . . .
[Edited by Nasty Habits] |
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| Joey |
What the World Needs Now is Love
" What the world needs now is love, sweet love
It's the only thing that there's just too little of
What the world needs now is love, sweet love,
No not just for some but for everyone.
Lord, we don't need another mountain,
There are mountains and hillsides enough to climb
There are oceans and rivers enough to cross,
Enough to last till the end of time.
What the world needs now is love, sweet love
It's the only thing that there's just too little of
What the world needs now is love, sweet love,
No, not just for some but for everyone.
Lord, we don't need another meadow
There are cornfields and wheat fields enough to grow
There are sunbeams and moonbeams enough to shine
Oh listen, lord, if you want to know.
What the world needs now is love, sweet love
It's the only thing that there's just too little of
What the world needs now is love, sweet love,
No, not just for some but for everyone.
No, not just for some, oh, but just for everyone "
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| Gibbons |
quote:
Monkeytonkman wrote:
it blew my balls off.
Much love, take care.
You take care of that sac. |
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| beer |
i love this thread.it cracks me up! i would like to personally thank each and every one of you who participated in making this possible.
Thank you. |
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| LadyJane |
I agree, beer!
Hopefully our newest member will not be FRIGHTENED away!!!
LJ. |
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| beer |
Thanks LadyJane.
Many Thanks from me to you
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| Joey |
Did someone just say , " Ball Sac " ?!?!?! |
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