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Topic: Keef - The Man Who Wouldn't Die Return to archive
13th May 2006 06:13 AM
stewed & Keefed Keef - The Man Who Wouldn't Die

During the Cold War, music fans had a saying: if the Russians ever drop the bomb, only two forms of life will live on - cockroaches and Keith Richards.

Still, when the news emerged that the Rolling Stones guitarist was in hospital with a suspected brain haemorrhage, it looked like his time might be up.

We should have known better. 62 years of reckless living have taken their toll on his face but it seems the man is indestructible after all. Here are some of his closest calls...



Keef Electrocutes Himself Onstage
The year was 1965, 'Satisfaction' had just become the Stones' first American number one, and the band were playing a gig in Sacramento, California. So far, so good. Then Keef accidentally brushed his guitar strings against an ungrounded microphone and was blown three feet in the air.

The incident was captured on colour super-8 film by a fan and was recently put up for auction, where it was expected to fetch in the region of $10,000.

Recalling his near-death experience, Keef said, "I woke up in the hospital an hour later. The doctor said (electrocution victims) either come around or they don't." Only the rubber souls of his Hush Puppies shoes had saved his life.
Keef Falls Asleep At The Wheel Of His Nazi Staff Car
Keef wasn't alone among his rock star mates in harbouring a morbid fascination for Nazi regalia during the 1960s. The others were discreet enough not to advertise the fact by... ummm... buying a vintage Nazi staff car and having it lovingly restored.

On his maiden drive, Keef, who had mysteriously acquired a driving license despite never having actually taken his test, shot up a load of heroin and promptly fell asleep at the wheel. As you do.

Needless to say, there was a bit of an accident. The car was written off but Keef survived to crash another day. Which he did.
Keef Neglects To Take Care Of Himself As Well As He Might
It's not just the fags. Blessed with the constitution of several oxen and an appetite for hedonism that would have Dionysus hankering after a cup of cocoa and an early night, Keef has lived every day of his life as though it were his last, sometimes to the point of... get this... not even going to bed!

Keef's longest reported bender was nine days without sleep. "I was doing a lot of blow," he recalled, "and everything was just too interesting for me to go to bed. I was quite lucid. Then I hit the speaker (breaking his nose). I even remember the make — it was a JBL."

He's calmed down a bit these days. "The idea of partying for nine days in order to keep the image of Keith Richards is stupid," he remarked recently. "That was Keith Richards then. Now I'll stay up for two or three days." Lightweight.
Keef Falls Out Of A Coconut Tree
Quite what a 62 year-old multi-millionaire was doing scavenging for coconuts in the first place is beside the point. The point is that he fell out of his tree, thereby providing tabloid headline editors with a field day.

It was all quite amusing until it was revealed he'd done some serious damage. Reports of brain surgery to relieve a blood clot on the brain emerged and The Sun stated that Keef was 'near death'.

Then Reuters quoted an unidentified source saying he'd undergone two operations, several days apart, and was still under observation for possible 'brain damage'. He was discharged the next day with the words, "I hope I wasn't too much of a pain in the arse — after all, it was my head they fixed."



James Hurley - Entertainment Editor, MSN UK


[Edited by stewed & Keefed]
13th May 2006 07:58 AM
corgi37 Yep, he's a remarkable mother fucker alright.
13th May 2006 09:49 AM
GotToRollMe Anyone know the details of the story where he set himself on fire and jumped into a swimming pool to put it out? That sounds like a good one.
13th May 2006 09:53 AM
MrPleasant He'd better get some sleep tonight.
13th May 2006 10:28 AM
LadyJane It's nice to laugh again.

GREAT article S&K.

All things considered, the Coconut Tree incident is simply another loony installment in the story of the life of Keith Richards. It fits.

The guy is amazing.

He is my hero!!

LJ.



13th May 2006 10:34 AM
GotToRollMe
quote:
LadyJane wrote:
It's nice to laugh again.

GREAT article S&K.

All things considered, the Coconut Tree incident is simply another loony installment in the story of the life of Keith Richards. It fits.

The guy is amazing.

He is my hero!!

LJ.



Ditto. It certainly is nice to laugh again. God love ya, Keith.
13th May 2006 11:41 AM
sssoul >> Anyone know the details of the story where he set himself on fire and jumped into a swimming pool to put it out? <<

i reckon that's a confused allusion to the september 78 fire at the house he was renting in LA - here's a bit about it, from Mark Paytress's book The Rolling Stones Off the Record:

SEPTEMBER 1978
Keith's domestic situation is hardly any more secure when the Hollywood house he has been renting in Laurel Canyon burns down.
Keith: "I'm in the bedroom with the flavour of the month, my girlfriend of the hour. I wake up and the room's full of smoke. I open the door to the bedroom and I'm looking at a fireball rushing down the corridor towards the oxygen ... and me! There's the two of us stark naked. Half the house is already destroyed, the roof is falling in on us but we've managed to get through - with a few burns here and there - to the swimming pool ... Stark fucking bollock naked with this blonde, bless her heart, good girl, solid gold, saying to me: 'Do something.' And I said: 'What do you want me to do - piss on it?'"

Keith, be *well* - all the way, baby, all the way
[Edited by sssoul]
13th May 2006 12:15 PM
Gazza If you live in the UK, rush out and buy today's Daily Mail

Contains a superb and very affectionate 2-page tribute to Keith's resilience by Christopher Sandford entitled "Can Anything Kill Keith?"

Hopefully it'll appear online at some point.
14th May 2006 05:14 AM
stewed & Keefed
quote:
Gazza wrote:
If you live in the UK, rush out and buy today's Daily Mail

Contains a superb and very affectionate 2-page tribute to Keith's resilience by Christopher Sandford entitled "Can Anything Kill Keith?"

Hopefully it'll appear online at some point.



Thanks Gazza
14th May 2006 09:54 AM
GotToRollMe
quote:
sssoul wrote:
>> Anyone know the details of the story where he set himself on fire and jumped into a swimming pool to put it out? <<

i reckon that's a confused allusion to the september 78 fire at the house he was renting in LA - here's a bit about it, from Mark Paytress's book The Rolling Stones Off the Record:

SEPTEMBER 1978
Keith's domestic situation is hardly any more secure when the Hollywood house he has been renting in Laurel Canyon burns down.
Keith: "I'm in the bedroom with the flavour of the month, my girlfriend of the hour. I wake up and the room's full of smoke. I open the door to the bedroom and I'm looking at a fireball rushing down the corridor towards the oxygen ... and me! There's the two of us stark naked. Half the house is already destroyed, the roof is falling in on us but we've managed to get through - with a few burns here and there - to the swimming pool ... Stark fucking bollock naked with this blonde, bless her heart, good girl, solid gold, saying to me: 'Do something.' And I said: 'What do you want me to do - piss on it?'"

Keith, be *well* - all the way, baby, all the way
[Edited by sssoul]



Aha. Saw a reference to that incident in Friday's Yahoo "Face of the Week" article credited to bbcnews.co.uk. Thanks for filling in the blanks, sssoul. I love Keith's description of the whole thing. I've got to pick up that "Off The Record" book. Sounds like a good one.
14th May 2006 09:39 PM
Soldatti Good read.
15th May 2006 02:23 PM
Honky Tonk Man
quote:
Gazza wrote:
If you live in the UK, rush out and buy today's Daily Mail



Thanks Gazza. I was away at the weekend, so I had to dig the paper out the recycling bin. It was well worth it!
15th May 2006 03:23 PM
Dick Bush Keef always was the death's worst enemy, now I want to see the good man living without smoking.

Philip Morris must be blessing him - if he really quitts, I'll do it too
15th May 2006 04:33 PM
Poplar
quote:
stewed & Keefed wrote:
The year was 1965, 'Satisfaction' had just become the Stones' first American number one, and the band were playing a gig in Sacramento, California. So far, so good. Then Keef accidentally brushed his guitar strings against an ungrounded microphone and was blown three feet in the air. The incident was captured on colour super-8 film by a fan and was recently put up for auction, where it was expected to fetch in the region of $10,000.



When we covered the sale of this video, I got a very good look at it. It's amazing stuff. Even it being Keith, I was amazed that anyone could live thru it. The jolt Keith took was remarkable. Seriously - sparks DID fly, and there was a flash big enough to obscure the picture for a moment. In a moment, Keith went frm rocking, to a pile of humanity in a fetal position on the stage... not moving a bit. Another note: Mick looked genuinely horrified. He immediately sprinted away from his microphone, rushing to Keith's limp, curled up body. He got right down on his knees beside him like a true, concerned friend... My first thought was how they really looked like 'mates' at that moment - and not 'business partners' like they have appeared to be for so long now (see Mick's non-response to the coconut tree incident). Anyhoo - every time I drive/bike past Memorial Auditorium, I think damn... it almost ended in there, such a long time ago.
15th May 2006 11:39 PM
PeerQueer Keith and Mick are cool w/each other. Mick is likely a wee bit pissed at Keith's antics costing the band about 5 or 6 million, but then again, w/o Keith there would be far less of that, now wouldn't there...

Mick isn't talking because that is Mick - the people he really cares for - he don't say much in public about, unlike Keith, who does tend to run his mouth at other's expense from time to time...though he does it in an amazingly witty that I can't help but laugh at.

I guarantee Mick took charge of the PR shortly after the incident broke and has been in contact with Keith since then.

It is just another chapter in a long book we call The Rolling Stones.

Here's to a few more before we have to put it down for good...
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