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| Ten Thousand Motels |
Rolling Stones set 'Geriatrics Rock tour'
Sonny Garrett
Baxter Bulletin
They're baaaaaack.
Yes, friends, they're rolling out The Rolling Stones one more time. Mick, Keith, Charlie and Ronnie all are getting their walkers dusted off, their dentures polished and their instruments for yet another tour by the world's oldest living rock band.
Well, they're not really that old even if most of them almost are old enough to collect what's left of Social Security if they were Americans. You've got to give The Rolling Stones credit for longevity. After all, not many people past the age of 60 are able to jump up and down and strut across stage in front of hundreds of thousands of people who have paid as much as $450 a ticket to see them.
Mick Jagger, the man who once sang, "What a drag it is getting old," turns 62 this year. Yet there he is, with lips that put Angelina Jolie's to shame, still going strong. I guess the switch from hard drugs and alcohol to Geritol did the trick.
Then there's Keith Richards, who really isn't nearly as old as he looks. Nothing is as old as Keith Richards looks. Not the pyramids, the Sphinx, nor the fossils in the Smithsonian Institute. He could be the poster boy for hard living after all the booze, drugs and carousing he's done in his lifetime.
Someone once said that after the apocalypse the only things that will be left on the planet are cockroaches and Keith Richards because by now they're immune to everything.
Charlie Watts just sits in the background, playing his drums, and I still swear Ronnie Wood was separated from Rod Stewart at birth.
The last time I wrote about aging rockers, talk about poking a hornet's nest. You'd have thought I insulted some folks directly. But I never said I didn't like them, and I hope I'm still able to rock 'n' roll when I'm eligible for Social Security, or what's left of it.
So, let's get that straight — I do not dislike The Rolling Stones. I like rock. I also like country, blues, classical, some jazz, classic Motown soul, adult contemporary, Big Band and I've even learned to tolerate a little hip-hop. In most of those genres, the older you get, the more life experience you bring to the music, the better it gets, even rock.
It's just that rock was supposed to be young people's music, the music of teen angst and rebellion, youthful ideals and partying. Now it has to deal with the Fogey Factor. Many bands and performers who provided the soundtrack for the rebellious '60s and experimental pre-disco '70s are still going, some better than others.
But some of the songs they've done, and some still do, are just a little silly now, if not downright creepy. For example, Dr. Hook or Ringo Starr singing "Only Sixteen" (She was only sixteen, only sixteen, but I loved her so...).
Or Alice Cooper singing "I'm Eighteen" (I'm a boy and I'm a man, I'm eighteen and I like it...). Alice, by the way, hasn't been 18 since 1966.
I do wonder if some of today's acts will have the staying power of The Rolling Stones, or Aerosmith, or Johnny Cash. Somehow I can't feature any of the Interchangeable Blondes (Britney, Christina, Jessica, Lindsey, et al) still touring in 40 years. Granted, modern science, plastic surgery and preservatives could keep them looking the same as they do now, but I just don't think they have the staying power.
Nor can I see acts such as System of the Down, Green Day, Justin Timberlake, Clay Aiken, 50 Cent, or any of the other acts-of-the-moment still performing in 2045. I can't see some of them still performing in 2010.
However, I do suspect we'll probably see another Rolling Stones tour in 2045. I can picture it now — Charlie Watts propped up behind his drums and occasionally dozing off, Ronnie Wood sitting on stage in a rocking chair and a pot-bellied Mick Jagger alternately sucking on an oxygen hose and holding himself up with a cane.
Keith Richards, meanwhile, will be standing there, perfectly preserved, cigarette hanging from his lips, looking much the same as he is now, the enigmatic, unchanging Sphinx of rock 'n' roll.
Sonny Garrett is city editor ofThe Baxter Bulletin. He may be reached at [email protected].
Originally published May 14, 2005
[Edited by Ten Thousand Motels] |
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| exile |
that was great I liked that |
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| corgi37 |
Fantastic stuff. Laughed my head off at the cockroaches and Keith reference.
And, here is some trivia.
Prior to being in the Wiggles, a couple of members were in a so-so successful band called the Cockroaches. |
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| egon |
that was a very un-original article,
with a bit of bit of copy & paste.... |
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| Child of the Moon |
The best part? Even the old age jokes have gotten old. |
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| gmfo60 |
I gave a full itinery back in January. |
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| gypsymofo60 |
I never came up with "Welcome to the breakfast show"... I apologise to those consered, NMF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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| gypsymofo60 |
Thankyou! that is better. |
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| Zack |
The Baxter Bulletin: News and Information About North Central Arkansas.
Lead story for Sunday:
"Wisconsin angler ekes out win in Professional Walleye Tournament on Bull Shoals Lake."
Second Lead: "Baxter Lays Off 49 Employees" (Doh!)
http://www.baxterbulletin.com/apps/pbcs.dll/frontpage
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