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| kath |
i miss him.... |
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| glencar |
I hear he's going to London for the weekend! So am I! See you next Tuesday! Get it? |
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| jb |
I have this "inside " info..but cannot reveal..... |
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| Saint Sway |
quote:
jb wrote:
I have this "inside " info..but cannot reveal.....
this just in...
POOPING AT WORK
For those who hate pooping at work, follow this survival guide for taking a dump at the office.
CROP DUSTING: When farting, you walk really fast around the office so the smell is not in your area and everyone else gets a whiff but doesn't know where it came from. Be careful when you do this. Do not stop until the full fart has been expelled. Walk an extra 30 feet to make sure the smell has left your pants.
* FLY BY: The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in and check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.
* ESCAPEE: A fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of embarrassment. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it.
Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee. It is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.
* JAILBREAK: When forcing a poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.
* COURTESY FLUSH: The act of flushing the toilet the instant the poop hits the water. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.
* WALK OF SHAME: Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be minimized with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.
* OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER: A colleague who poops at work and is damn proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under their arm. Always look around the office for the Out Of The Closet Pooper before entering the bathroom.
* SAFE HAVENS: A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building whereyou can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of
the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a same-sex pooper
entering your bathroom.
* TURD BURGLAR: Someone who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking
and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a poop at work. If
this occurs, remain in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.
* CAMO-COUGH: A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to cover-up a
WATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars. Very effective when
used for Havana Omelets.
* ASTAIRE: A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd Burglars that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt
that the stall is occupied. If you hear an Astaire, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace.
* WATERMELON: A poop that creates a loud splash when hitting the water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a Watermelon coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.
* HAVANA OMELET: A case of diarrhea that creates a series of loud
splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an ESCAPEE. Try
using a CAMO-COUGH with an ASTAIRE.
* UNCLE TED: A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever.
Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting
on the pot. An Uncle Ted makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper,
as you should always wait to poop when the bathroom is empty. This
benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendeeump at the office. |
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| kath |
all very useful information.
thanks. |
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| voodoopug |
Sadly, we are currently under a gag order. |
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| kath |
how are you and jagger?????? |
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| Saint Sway |
quote:
voodoopug wrote:
Sadly, we are currently under a gag order.
* JAILBREAK: When forcing a poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred. |
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| Joey |
quote:
kath wrote:
i miss him....
Here I Is !!!!!!!!!!!!!
Busier than Hell at work these days .
I don't look for any ' relief ' until late summer / early fall .
WAIT !!!!!!!
**** ABRUPT END TO TRANSMISSION **** |
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| kath |
oh joey...i am not one for delayed gratification.....
come to kath NOW!!!! |
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| Joey |
quote:
kath wrote:
oh joey...i am not one for delayed gratification.....
come to kath NOW!!!!
Kath..
You make Joey smile |
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| glencar |
quote:
Joey wrote:
Here I Is !!!!!!!!!!!!!
Busier than Hell at work these days .
I don't look for any ' relief ' until late summer / early fall .
WAIT !!!!!!!
**** ABRUPT END TO TRANSMISSION ****
You get busy at work? Get out!! |
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| BONOISLOVE |
He's reading me a bedtime story.
Motherfucking happy???? |
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| Joey |
quote:
glencar wrote:
You get busy at work? Get out!!
Funny ! |
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| glencar |
You're simply the best! |
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| Joey |
quote:
glencar wrote:
You're simply the best!
I would like to bite and kiss you
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| glencar |
Joey, ever have a day wherein you have nothing at all that you need to do? Lovely day here in God's country... |
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| jb |
What Joey and I have created here has been nothing less than a miracle...we have single handedly kept the baords fresh and alive even as the tour ends....we can make and break a single poster at anytime. |
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| Joey |
quote:
jb wrote:
What Joey and I have created here has been nothing less than a miracle...we have single handedly kept the baords fresh and alive even as the tour ends....we can make and break a single poster at anytime.
What he said !
Jacky . |
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| Some Guy |
quote:
jb wrote:
What Joey and I have created here has been nothing less than a miracle...we have single handedly kept the baords fresh and alive even as the tour ends....we can make and break a single poster at anytime.
thanks jb |
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| jb |
quote:
Some Guy wrote:
thanks jb
You're welcome SomeGuy....we simply have endured loonger than most under very harsh conditions....we also have what my old friend steelie called "game". |
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| glencar |
quote:
jb wrote:
What Joey and I have created here has been nothing less than a miracle...we have single handedly kept the baords fresh and alive even as the tour ends....we can make and break a single poster at anytime.
Who have you "BROKE"? |
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| Joey |
quote:
jb wrote:
You're welcome SomeGuy....we simply have endured loonger than most under very harsh conditions....we also have what my old friend steelie called "game".
Yes .... We Got ..... GAME !!!!
That's it .....We Got Game .
Joey / Josh / Puggy -- ( Got Game ) |
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| glencar |
pdog still has more posts than you. He actually DOES ahve "game." You got shit. |
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| Trey Krimsin |
quote:
glencar wrote:
Who have you "BROKE"?
I know someone who broke the Bat:
 |
