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Topic: THE PARODIES HAVE BEGUN... Return to archive
30th April 2006 10:35 AM
SweetVirginia Courtesy of Postcards from the Pug Bus

Keith Richards Out of His Tree, Hillary Clinton Out of Beano
By Phil Maggitti
Apr 30, 2006, 08:16

AUCKLAND - Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards suffered a mild concussion after falling out of a coconut tree at the luxurious Wakaya Club resort in Fiji last week. Mr. Richards, who had been picking coconuts at the time, was knocked unconscious by the fifteen-foot fall.

According to a source close to the Rolling Stones, when Mr. Richards woke up, he was surprised to learn he had fallen out of a tree.

"A tree?" said Mr. Richards. "What the f*** was I doin' in a tree? I don't even drink coconuts!"

Mr. Richards, 62, initially refused treatment following his fall. According to New Zealand's Sunday Star-Times, he "still had the energy to jump on a jet ski and get into another accident."

Details of the jet-ski crash are sketchy, but after Mr. Richards had been pulled from the water and revived on shore, his first words were, "Jet ski? What f****** jet ski? What the f*** was I doin' on a jet ski?"

After being told that he had crashed while riding a jet ski in the ocean, Mr. Richards said, "Ocean? What ocean? What the f*** was I doin' in an ocean?"

At that point Mr. Richards was flown to Nausori airport near Suva, the capital of Fiji, where he was treated at a private hospital. He was then transferred to Ascot hospital in Auckland, New Zealand, where he has remained with his wife, Patti Hansen, by his side.

Ronnie Wood, Mr. Richards' fellow guitarist in the Stones, had been picking coconuts with Mr. Richards when he fell. Upon learning that Mr. Richards had suffered only a mild concussion, Mr. Wood exclaimed, "Keith? Concussion? What concussion? I thought Keith was back in Connecticut."

Mr. Richards' injury was not the first time he had suffered as the result of a fall. In 1998 he needed treatment for rib and chest injuries when he fell off a ladder while trying to retrieve a book in the library of his Connecticut mansion.

"Library? What library?" asked Mr. Richards at the time. "Are you trying to accuse me of reading?"

Hillary Clinton feigns surprise after cracking a barney with enough force to lift the right collar of her blouse.
In other news, Hillary Rodham Clinton's flatulence, long a tightly held secret in her inner circle, reared its ugly head during a special screening of Reaching the Crest at the Tribeca Film Festival last week. Several special needs children were stricken by the fumes when Ms. Clinton unleashed a "rag ripper of epic proportions," according to one bystander whose glasses were cracked by the explosion.

A spokeswoman for Ms. Clinton attempted to wave off questions about her health: "The senator ate kimchi at a fundraiser last night, and she simply forgot to take her Beano the morning of the incident."

http://www.pugbus.net/artman/publish/04302006_richardsfalls.shtml
30th April 2006 07:27 PM
dyankee
30th April 2006 07:40 PM
Reptile Wawhahahaha that picture is hilarious. Nice work!!
30th April 2006 07:54 PM
dyankee

heh sorry Keith! wherever he is. maybe he should stick to sports like playing quarters, or golfing. *hmm , actually, with his recent luck, nix the golfing idea actually*
30th April 2006 07:56 PM
MrPleasant
quote:
dyankee wrote:




LMAO!!!!!!
30th April 2006 10:10 PM
CraigP Naa, that's a concussion... You come-to in a sence and think you're okay and physically continue... My physician got on his bike after a concussion to ride to his destin. but his son convinced him that he wasn't in a sane state: Skull fracture and didn't even remember... i was in a full concussioin the day in between the 1st and 2nd fenway shows)
30th April 2006 10:14 PM
MrPleasant
quote:
CraigP wrote:
Naa, that's a concussion... You come-to in a sence and think you're okay and physically continue... My physician got on his bike after a concussion to ride to his destin. but his son convinced him that he wasn't in a sane state: Skull fracture and didn't even remember... i was in a full concussioin the day in between the 1st and 2nd fenway shows)



BIKES SUCK!!! And you're just LUCKY TO BE ALIVE!!!!
1st May 2006 12:42 AM
GotToRollMe
quote:
dyankee wrote:




Now THAT is some funny shit right there!
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