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| Maxlugar |
My dearest Stonesian brethren,
The Rolling Stones have unknowingly embarked on a mission of great importance: The rehabilitation of Maxlugar. You see, my friends, Saturday will be two weeks that I have been working out to two very important CD compilations: Sweatin' to the Stonesies by Cardinal Ximinez and Sweatin' to the Stonesies by Keith1. "The Drive" of this music has begun to awaken cells in my body long dormant and cranky. But I am now starting to feel better. The Rolling Stones are saving my life. I'm telling you all because I feel I can talk to you. Hug me.
This Saturday will also be the two week anniversary of my sobriety. I woke up to weeks ago sweating and shaking from a very viscous hangover. It was at this moment that I pledged to not drink for three months. It was a proud and defiant moment in little Maxy's life. It was also a moment of true regret as I pledged it out loud to my wife and I really wanted to drink last weekend. I cried during an Ernst and Julio Gallo commercial as I sat there stone faced and sober last Saturday night. I puttered around the house all weekend fixing things and helping my wife with chores. Sweet friggin' crap! At one point I heard weeping. I looked from room to room and closet to closet thinking a lost child or wounded animal had gotten inside my house. Then I realized it was coming from within. My liver was crying a river. I hugged it softly and swayed side to side as I too wept. I know buddy. I know. Three months my dear friend. We'll be ok in three months.
So I pray to you now O' Great Rolling Stones! Help me get better quick! Make these months go fast! Make me run like the wind. Get me drunk on your music and high on your words! I will get tipsy on tour rumors.
Kill me.
Maxy!
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| nankerphelge |
Every now and again, it is good to hang the liver up and let it dry out. We are only bron with one, and unless you can out maneuver Larry Hagman or roofie some unsuspecting bastard in a bar and do a little "bar-room surgery" with an Exacto knife, you really have to take care of the little bugger.
That's why the lord gave us two lungs!
Find yourself a little chiba and you won't have to suffer those terrible withdrawls for the next 3 months. However, if this is all part of some grand plan to straighten up and fly right and (god forbid) get in shape, then you probably don't want to do this. Not only do you lose your aerobic ability but he Elvis '77 is never good for the waistline. Although a diet of pepperoni and poptarts ain't as bad as all them nutritionists make it out to be. |
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| Cardinal Ximinez |
Oh Max...my poor poor boy! Haven't you heard? Beer and wine are GOOD for you. It actually reduces the bad cholesterol in your blood! Drinking makes you healthier. Instead of drinking a whole case of beer, try just a 6 pack. Instead of pulling a Steelie and drinking wine by the foot, just sip at a small carafe....and as we all know, beer is LOADED with essential vitamins and minerals, not to mention fibre and whole grain goodness.
You need to drink...just don't get raging sloppy slurr your speech piss the bed drunk. |
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| Maxlugar |
Oh I know it's good for you. Just not at the levels I've been putting in me.
It has a lot to do with the waist line as Nanky says.
I wish I could just have one drink or two. But I, like Steel Driving Wamma Lamma, can not just have one. I need to Elvis '77 when I drink.
So it's just clean living for the next 10 weeks. And lots of exercize.
All to the Rolling Stones.
Maxlugar, C10 (soon to be NYC50) |
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| Joey |
"Then I realized it was coming from within. My liver was crying a river. I hugged it softly and swayed side to side as I too wept. I know buddy. I know. Three months my dear friend. We'll be ok in three months. "
That is what my good friend Lawrence Hagman has been stating for years .
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