| February 11th, 2005 12:12 AM |
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| Soldatti |
Rolling Stones to Perform at Prince Charles’ Wedding
Written by Phil Maggitti
LONDON – In what cynics are calling a transparent attempt to “do a Viagra on a couple of sagging careers,” Prince Charles announced this morning that the Rolling Stones will headline at his wedding to Camilla Parker Bowles on April 8. The ceremony, which will be held at Windsor Castle, is expected to be the premier news story of the year in England, apart from the weather.
Charles, who is scheduled to preside over the opening of the newest Subway in London later today, could not be reached for comment. His office issued the following statement: “After listening to his heart and public opinion polls, Charles has decided to make an honest woman out of Camilla.”
Perhaps Charles should have considered those polls more carefully. Although 32 percent of the respondents to a recent Times of London survey said they would support Charles if he remarried, 29 percent said they would not. The other 39 percent thought Charles was dead.
What’s more, Charles’ selection of fellow royal Mick Jagger’s band is sure to open long-festering resentment among Beatles fans, many of whom still carry on those tiresome Beatles-versus-Stones arguments in pubs throughout England.
“The prince is a right fool,” said Mark Sebastian, a literary agent in London. “He’s just trying to develop street cred. As far as I’m concerned, he lost any hope of that when he told Camilla he wanted to be her sanitary device. Not even John Lennon was that besotted.”
The prince’s office said Parker Bowles will be called Her Royal Highness the Duchess of Cornwall after the marriage, but that Charles would probably continue to call her “my steamy Yorkshire pudding.” Should Charles accede to the throne, Camilla will not become queen of England. She will be known as Princess Concubine instead.
Although Dykes for Di and other groups have threatened to hold massive protests on the day of the wedding, the prince can count on the support of George Carey, former Archbishop of Canterbury, who has been pimping the union for some time.
"Commoners are such tawdry lot,” sniffed Lord Carey. “Charles is heir to the throne. He can marry anybody he pleases. If he wanted to marry a corpse, that’s his business.”
As for having corpses perform at his wedding, Charles is expected to announce the Stones set list shortly. There is no word out of London yet regarding bridesmaids, ushers, or whether Prince Harry will be allowed to attend.
In related news, Sir Elton John is scheduled to release "Two Love Candles in the Wind," yet another rewrite of his Marilyn Monroe song, in time for the wedding.
[Edited by Soldatti] |
| February 11th, 2005 01:24 AM |
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| ResidentMule |
so, did Keith Richards quit the Rolling Stones or something and I just haven't heard about it? |
| February 11th, 2005 01:40 AM |
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| mac_daddy |
are you sh*tting me..?
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| February 11th, 2005 04:46 AM |
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| Gazza |
It's a spoof fer Chrissakes...surely that's obvious... |
| February 11th, 2005 05:15 AM |
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| FotiniD |
quote:
Gazza wrote:
It's a spoof fer Chrissakes...surely that's obvious...
Thankfully.
You know, for a minute I almost bought it.
Jeez  |
| February 11th, 2005 05:54 AM |
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| Zeeta |
Can't wait when do tix go on sale?!?!?!?
Or do you have to join up to the Prince Charles and Camilla Fan Club to get advanced tickets! It's only £450 to join - a snip!
www.charles&camilla&RollingstonesFanclub.com/gigatthecastle.html
They will be playing on Windsor castle roof and the Queen is supporting! Doing her famous one man band debacle!
www.HerMajestiesOneManBand.co.uk has the links.
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| February 11th, 2005 07:10 AM |
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| F505 |
If only she could be there....
 |
| February 11th, 2005 07:40 AM |
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| Monkeytonkman |
Anyone who believes this load of old bullshit has gotta be ptretty fucking stupid!
I pity the fool! |
| February 11th, 2005 08:19 AM |
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| J.J.Flash |
It's a shame seeing Mick with this stupid clown..... |
| February 11th, 2005 08:30 AM |
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| Gazza |
A bit harsh on Joanna Lumley! |
| February 11th, 2005 08:38 AM |
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| F505 |
quote:
Gazza wrote:
A bit harsh on Joanna Lumley!
lol |
| February 11th, 2005 09:03 AM |
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| gimmekeef |
Ebay already has stuff relating to this big event. I bid $10.00 for a pair of plastic giant ears with the tongue logo!!!!! |
| February 11th, 2005 10:17 AM |
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| voodoopug |
quote:
Monkeytonkman wrote:
Anyone who believes this load of old bullshit has gotta be ptretty fucking stupid!
I pity the fool!
jb says that this decision is embarrassing and it will only hurt our legacy |
| February 11th, 2005 10:20 AM |
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| Doxa |
Absolutely Fabulous!
Is that horse-faced woman far behind the becoming real-tv star?
- Doxa |
| February 11th, 2005 10:30 AM |
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| voodoopug |
quote:
gimmekeef wrote:
Ebay already has stuff relating to this big event. I bid $10.00 for a pair of plastic giant ears with the tongue logo!!!!!
please post a link |
| February 11th, 2005 12:13 PM |
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| Lazy Bones |
A quick glance to the calendar...thought it was April 1st! |
| February 11th, 2005 12:49 PM |
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| ResidentMule |
quote:
Gazza wrote:
It's a spoof fer Chrissakes...surely that's obvious...
I probably would feel stupid if I actually bothered to read the whole article
but, going by the headlines, I won't be too quick to doubt anything at this point after the Pirates of the Carribean thing |
| February 11th, 2005 01:04 PM |
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| gimmekeef |
Just pulling everyone's leg pug....no Ebay stuff YET! |
| February 11th, 2005 01:09 PM |
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| glencar |
As soon as I read "apart from the weather" I realized it was a joke. Betcha Macca is there though! |
| February 11th, 2005 01:13 PM |
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| voodoopug |
quote:
gimmekeef wrote:
Just pulling everyone's leg pug....no Ebay stuff YET!
hook, line, and sinker.....the pug was fooled! |
| February 11th, 2005 01:28 PM |
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| gimmekeef |
Pug...if they ever do come out..I owe you a pair...By the way you were kind enough to send my wife on shidoob a cdr of your band its great!Thanks..Love it...She's monkeywomantooo |
| February 11th, 2005 01:51 PM |
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| voodoopug |
quote:
gimmekeef wrote:
Pug...if they ever do come out..I owe you a pair...By the way you were kind enough to send my wife on shidoob a cdr of your band its great!Thanks..Love it...She's monkeywomantooo
ha ha! Thanks. Now i am putting it all together. I am glad you have not relegated my bands disc to a cocktail coaster! We are working on another one now, when it is done, i will send you one if you would like! |
| February 11th, 2005 02:08 PM |
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| Gazza |
quote:
glencar wrote:
As soon as I read "apart from the weather" I realized it was a joke.
actually, that remark isn't too far off the truth! |
| February 11th, 2005 02:11 PM |
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| voodoopug |
quote:
Gazza wrote:
actually, that remark isn't too far off the truth!
i was suckered in by the ebay reference! |
| February 11th, 2005 02:17 PM |
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| Mr Jimmy |
If the Stones did show up they could perform jigsaw puzzle...
And the queen is bravely shouting,
"What the hell is going on?" |
| February 11th, 2005 02:19 PM |
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| voodoopug |
quote:
Mr Jimmy wrote:
If the Stones did show up they could perform jigsaw puzzle...
And the queen is bravely shouting,
"What the hell is going on?"
Good one! |
| February 11th, 2005 03:21 PM |
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| Gazza |
 |
| February 11th, 2005 03:26 PM |
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| Ten Thousand Motels |
quote:
Gazza wrote:
...surely that's obvious...
If it ain't it ought to be. |
| February 11th, 2005 06:40 PM |
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| JaggerLips |
LOL!
If it were true THANKFULLY IT AIN'T ! I think they should sing Bitch because after all Camilla is....
Sorry have no time for her or Charles.
Also if it were true what would be the setlist?
I'd bunk in the wedding to see the Stones, (Royal security ain't that hot as all the UK wil know very well indeed!)
THE ROLLING STONES WOULD NOT BE SEEN DEAD BEING WEDDING 'ENTERTAINMENT' FOR THAT SHOWER!
RIP HRH PRINCESS DIANA!
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| February 11th, 2005 10:02 PM |
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| GhostofBrianJones |
I think if it was real, Elton John could sing The Bitch is Back
and the Stones could sing Have You Seen Camilla Standing
In the Shadows? He might as well marry Camilla no one else
will have him- and Concubine Princess is an excellent name for
her. Peace Diana and rest in Peace My favorite Princess of the
World! You are much loved and dearly missed. |
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