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| VoodooChileInWOnderl |
Legendary Stones Fan Busted on Chiba Charges
by Yokero Akeyito
Rocky Mountain News
February 11, 2003, 6:35 PM PT
Joey Von Kinky Kink Kinkily was down and out in Denver some days ago when he burned 2 pounds of chiba in the ladies room of the Pepsi Center during the Chuck Leavell set in the middle of the Rolling Stones visit to Denver on Saturday, February 1st.
The two-time Rocks Off nominee was jailed after being arrested for investigation of being under the influence of alcohol or drugs, the Colorado State Narcotics Patrol said.
Joey, 41, from Omaha. Nebraska, was spotted swerving at the Hard Rock Caf� the day before the show, at one point allegedly pulling his Mercedes into the opposing traffic lane, sniffing brown sugar while driving.
"The officer stopped the vehicle and found that Mr. Von Kinky Kink Kinkily seemed completely out of it," CSNP spokesman Leland Tang tells Reuters. "He was drooling, [with] droopy eyes. He...looked very much like he was under the influence," said Tang.
Nevertheless, Tang said Von Kinky Kink Kinkily "was extremely pleasant and cooperative. Apparently there were even a few passersby and one of the passersby stopped and took pictures when Joey was bribing Tang."
The star of Rocks Off and Gasland failed a field sobriety test and was hauled into the local station, where he remained as of press time--"for his own well-being," as Tang explained to Reuters.
Von Kinky Kink Kinkily is expected to post $72,500 bribe and will be released before the Australian leg of the Stones tour.
After further investigations, additional charges include:
- Having sex in his underpants (yes� he has style) with young members of the British Royal Family as well as Monica Owens (19) and his dad Bill.
- Promoting the use of high THC content chiba by means of a disgusting walking weed avatar in an already FBI watched message board somewhere on the net.
- Promoting self anal sex with another even more disgusting avatar in the same infamous forum.
- Being a member of the C10 gang, a bunch of well-known wild bastards.
- Using Maxy's lastname and stealing his stuff
Read full story in the new issue of Convict Today
[Edited by VoodooChileInWOnderl] |
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| Child of the Moon |
Really, how could you convict a face like that?
Free Joey! Free Joey! Free Joey! Free Joey! Free Joey! Free Joey! Free Joey! Free Joey! Free Joey! Free Joey! Free Joey! Free Joey! Free Joey! Free Joey! Free Joey! Free Joey! Free Joey! Free Joey! Free Joey! Free Joey! Free Joey! Free Joey! Free Joey! Free Joey! Free Joey! Free Joey! Free Joey! Free Joey! Free Joey! Free Joey! Free Joey! Free Joey! Free Joey! Free Joey! Free Joey! Free Joey! Free Joey! Free Joey! Free Joey! Free Joey! Free Joey! Free Joey! Free Joey! Free Joey! Free Joey! Free Joey! Free Joey! Free Joey! Free Joey! Free Joey! Free Joey! Free Joey! Free Joey! Free Joey! Free Joey! Free Joey! Free Joey! Free Joey! Free Joey! Free Joey! Free Joey! Free Joey! Free Joey! Free Joey! Free Joey! Free Joey! |
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| Riffhard |
Well we know for sure that the heat has been chasing his little buddy for monthes now,as witnessed by his avatar. Joey always told me,"Riffy,the sonsabitches will never take me alive or sober!" I'm shocked at these allegations! I think they are baseless! He hasn't even partied with Nolte to my knowledge.
Riffhard |
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| VoodooChileInWOnderl |
quote:
Riffhard wrote:
He hasn't even partied with Nolte to my knowledge.
Well, now he has plenty of time to do it in jail! |
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| parmeda |
Voo...
You get a gold star for this one!
LMAO!
Where's my mascara!!! |
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| VoodooChileInWOnderl |
quote:
parmeda wrote:
Voo...
You get a gold star for this one!
LMAO!
Where's my mascara!!!
Thanks Parmy Mammy... that happens when you smoke Joey's |
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| TheSavageYoungXyzzy |
<------- "Hope our boy doesn't get all Howe Military Academy up in the pokey, if ya know what I mean, Xyzzy!"
You said it, little RonnieCake! Why I'm talking to you's a complete mystery! You don't even have a face, per se!
But, in other news...
Not... not OUR JOEY!
Whatever shall we do? He was like the CineMax to our own MaxLugar's HBO... similar style, similar movies, similar commercials... but he showed PORN on very late nights! Or at the very least he'd put on some Dirty Work and take a good run at Fiji's man-tits.
Here's a tribute to our boy Joey, manifested in signatorial form.
T. Savage Young Kinkilyzzy! XACKY! TheChibaphonicYoungXyzzy! Racka-macka-lama-hama-ding-donga-Xyzzy! tSY the X! RastaXyzzy! Chibamaster Yzzyx-san! T. Savage Young Kinkilyzzy! XACKY! TheChibaphonicYoungXyzzy! Racka-macka-lama-hama-ding-donga-Xyzzy! tSY the X! RastaXyzzy! Chibamaster Yzzyx-san! T. Savage Young Kinkilyzzy! XACKY! TheChibaphonicYoungXyzzy! Racka-macka-lama-hama-ding-donga-Xyzzy! tSY the X! RastaXyzzy! Chibamaster Yzzyx-san! T. Savage Young Kinkilyzzy! XACKY! TheChibaphonicYoungXyzzy! Racka-macka-lama-hama-ding-donga-Xyzzy! tSY the X! RastaXyzzy! Chibamaster Yzzyx-san! T. Savage Young Kinkilyzzy! XACKY! TheChibaphonicYoungXyzzy! Racka-macka-lama-hama-ding-donga-Xyzzy! tSY the X! RastaXyzzy! Chibamaster Yzzyx-san! T. Savage Young Kinkilyzzy! XACKY! TheChibaphonicYoungXyzzy! Racka-macka-lama-hama-ding-donga-Xyzzy! tSY the X! RastaXyzzy! Chibamaster Yzzyx-san! T. Savage Young Kinkilyzzy! XACKY! TheChibaphonicYoungXyzzy! Racka-macka-lama-hama-ding-donga-Xyzzy! tSY the X! RastaXyzzy! Chibamaster Yzzyx-san! T. Savage Young Kinkilyzzy! XACKY! TheChibaphonicYoungXyzzy! Racka-macka-lama-hama-ding-donga-Xyzzy! tSY the X! RastaXyzzy! Chibamaster Yzzyx-san! T. Savage Young Kinkilyzzy! XACKY! TheChibaphonicYoungXyzzy! Racka-macka-lama-hama-ding-donga-Xyzzy! tSY the X! RastaXyzzy! Chibamaster Yzzyx-san! T. Savage Young Kinkilyzzy! XACKY! TheChibaphonicYoungXyzzy! Racka-macka-lama-hama-ding-donga-Xyzzy! tSY the X! RastaXyzzy! Chibamaster Yzzyx-san! T. Savage Young Kinkilyzzy! XACKY! TheChibaphonicYoungXyzzy! Racka-macka-lama-hama-ding-donga-Xyzzy! tSY the X! RastaXyzzy! Chibamaster Yzzyx-san! T. Savage Young Kinkilyzzy! XACKY! TheChibaphonicYoungXyzzy! Racka-macka-lama-hama-ding-donga-Xyzzy! tSY the X! RastaXyzzy! Chibamaster Yzzyx-san! T. Savage Young Kinkilyzzy! XACKY! TheChibaphonicYoungXyzzy! Racka-macka-lama-hama-ding-donga-Xyzzy! tSY the X! RastaXyzzy! Chibamaster Yzzyx-san! T. Savage Young Kinkilyzzy! XACKY! TheChibaphonicYoungXyzzy! Racka-macka-lama-hama-ding-donga-Xyzzy! tSY the X! RastaXyzzy! Chibamaster Yzzyx-san! T. Savage Young Kinkilyzzy! XACKY! TheChibaphonicYoungXyzzy! Racka-macka-lama-hama-ding-donga-Xyzzy! tSY the X! RastaXyzzy! Chibamaster Yzzyx-san! T. Savage Young Kinkilyzzy! XACKY! TheChibaphonicYoungXyzzy! Racka-macka-lama-hama-ding-donga-Xyzzy! tSY the X! RastaXyzzy! Chibamaster Yzzyx-san! T. Savage Young Kinkilyzzy! XACKY! TheChibaphonicYoungXyzzy! Racka-macka-lama-hama-ding-donga-Xyzzy! tSY the X! RastaXyzzy! Chibamaster Yzzyx-san! T. Savage Young Kinkilyzzy! XACKY! TheChibaphonicYoungXyzzy! Racka-macka-lama-hama-ding-donga-Xyzzy! tSY the X! RastaXyzzy! Chibamaster Yzzyx-san! T. Savage Young Kinkilyzzy! XACKY! TheChibaphonicYoungXyzzy! Racka-macka-lama-hama-ding-donga-Xyzzy! tSY the X! RastaXyzzy! Chibamaster Yzzyx-san! T. Savage Young Kinkilyzzy! XACKY! TheChibaphonicYoungXyzzy! Racka-macka-lama-hama-ding-donga-Xyzzy! tSY the X! RastaXyzzy! Chibamaster Yzzyx-san! T. Savage Young Kinkilyzzy! XACKY! TheChibaphonicYoungXyzzy! Racka-macka-lama-hama-ding-donga-Xyzzy! tSY the X! RastaXyzzy! Chibamaster Yzzyx-san!
"Help me Ronnie, help help me Ronnie, help me Ronnie, help help me Ronnie, help me Ronnie, help help me Ronnie, help me Ronnie, help help me Ronnie, help me Ronnie, yeah, Taylor outta my heart!"
"Shall I put on some Dirty Work?" she purred.
"FUCK YUP!" I said, crushing the album lightly and coating her in fine vinyl sprinkles. |
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| telecaster |
I am so dissapointed I don't know what to say.
He claimed he was 38 yrs old in a recent thread and now
I read this and find out he is 41.
Next I will find out he really doesn't weigh 175 pounds. |
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| Sir Stonesalot |
Maxy is gonna go fucking ballistic.
The whole Von Kinky Kink Kinkily was Maxy's thing.
Joey has been stealing Maxy's stuff for so long now, everyone just assumes the shit's Joey's.
I'm glad I won't have to deal with Mr. Lugar. He's gonna be spittin' razor blades. |
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| Sir Stonesalot |
Oh jeez.
Xyzzy...you just did a whole post in tribute to Joey...and every gag, EVERY single one...comes from MaxLugar.
Even Fuck Yup....dang. You guys are gonna give Max an anuerism. |
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| VoodooChileInWOnderl |
At least I know that the Von Kinki Kinkily etc is Maxy's stuff, I used it because I don't know a good last name for this critical situation as we need to maintaing Joey's identity secret |
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| VoodooChileInWOnderl |
See the additional charge! |
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| Sir Stonesalot |
Nice try...I don't think he's gonna buy it. |
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| TheSavageYoungXyzzy |
quote:
Sir Stonesalot wrote:
Oh jeez.
Xyzzy...you just did a whole post in tribute to Joey...and every gag, EVERY single one...comes from MaxLugar.
Even Fuck Yup....dang. You guys are gonna give Max an anuerism.
I know... I double-checked *everything*. Only thing that seems to be uniquely Joey's in my tribute is the talking to one's avatar, though I don't know.
Had any conversations with yourself recently, Maxy von Exxon Valdez Supreme?
-tSYX --- Maybe it's not too late to learn how to love and forget how to hate... |
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| Child of the Moon |
quote:
Riffhard wrote:
He hasn't even partied with Nolte to my knowledge.
Actually, I'll bet this was all Nolte's fault. The drooling bastard had it planned from the beginning. Joey was set up, I tells ya! Free Joey!
It's a good thing my Keith avatar doesn't talk, or I'd be in trouble.
"It sure is, Steve."
... Shit.
BTW, hey SS, how many other things has Joey taken from Maxy. I mean, I know there's a lot, but just how many offenses has Joey racked up in that department so far? Inquiring minds... |
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| Sir Stonesalot |
The 'Nam thing is Joey's. Maxy has too much respect for Vets to pull something like that.
And I think that's it. All the rest is Lugar.
If Maxy quit posting...Joey would either quit posting as well...or he would start stealing someone elses stuff. Probably nank's. |
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| VoodooChileInWOnderl |
Hey Sir Stonesalot, do you think I did something wrong or offensive with this post? I made it for fun, and the intention is to make the readers smile, and I did it, even that I wrote it all LOL
I even smile again when I re read it, and I did it when I added more charges to this poor convict |
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| beer |
Poor Joey. Is he the lead singer in a Maxlugar cover band?
Grand theft Lugar?
Maybe the judge will have mercy on young Joey and sentence him to perform a benefit for the blind? |
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| Strange_Stray_Cat |
Let's raise some money for Joey's bail!!
Or let the Stones do a benefit! |
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| luxury1 |
This is good stuff!! |
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| TheSavageYoungXyzzy |
Beer-
YES! Grand Theft Lugar! That's *gotta* be Joey's band's name.
-tSYX --- Hold your group together with Rotosound strings... |
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| Moonisup |
let love rule
[Edited by Moonisup] |
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| Maxlugar |
Oh my God!!!
<-------- Let that friggin' scumbag hack poster rot in jail! I hope he gets sodomized by 50 Haitian bisexual intravenous drug users in his cell.
WHOA WHOA WHOA Maxy '83! Settle down! It is down right mean to kick the talentless when they are down.
Lets all say a prayer for "my muse".
And a prayer for his wife...er..girlfriend...er...sheep...er..hand....DAMN what IS he screwing these days?
I for one am hoping for a resurgence in Joey's posting. His posts have been trite at best and prosaic at worst.
Help him Ronnie! Help Help him Ronnie!
MACKY!
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| Stonesthrow |
That's what Joey needs. Some of that legendary Maxy tough love. You must be so proud.
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| Jaxx |
thanks voodoo. this post is a blast. i knew that mug i took of joey was going to wind up in some pretty strange places....laugh till it hurts, drink till it feels better. |
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| Joey |
" If Maxy quit posting...Joey would either quit posting as well...or he would start stealing someone elses stuff. Probably nank's. "
<------- You make Joey say , Huh ?????????????????
Hold on little buddy , everyone knows that Joey's posts are completely original . Hell , just the other day I was ..............oh , oh .................Holy SH## ! :
Jo Jo Jo JA Jo Jo Jo JAC Jo Jo Jo Jo JACK Jo Jo Jo JA Jo Jo Jo JAC Jo Jo Jo Jo JACK Jo Jo Jo JA Jo Jo Jo JAC Jo Jo Jo Jo JACK Jo Jo Jo JA Jo Jo Jo JAC Jo Jo Jo Jo JACK Jo Jo Jo JA Jo Jo Jo JAC Jo Jo Jo Jo JACK Jo Jo Jo JA Jo Jo Jo JAC Jo Jo Jo Jo JACK Jo Jo Jo JA Jo Jo Jo JAC Jo Jo Jo Jo JACK Jo Jo Jo JA Jo Jo Jo JAC Jo Jo Jo Jo JACK Jo Jo Jo JA Jo Jo Jo JAC Jo Jo Jo Jo JACK Jo Jo Jo JA Jo Jo Jo JAC Jo Jo Jo Jo JACK Jo Jo Jo JA Jo Jo Jo JAC Jo Jo Jo Jo JACK Jo Jo Jo JA Jo Jo Jo JAC Jo Jo Jo Jo JACK Jo Jo Jo JA Jo Jo Jo JAC Jo Jo Jo Jo JACK Jo Jo Jo JA Jo Jo Jo JAC Jo Jo Jo Jo JACK Jo Jo Jo JA Jo Jo Jo JAC Jo Jo Jo Jo JACK Jo Jo Jo JA Jo Jo Jo JAC Jo Jo Jo Jo JACK Jo Jo Jo JA Jo Jo Jo JAC Jo Jo Jo Jo JACK Jo Jo Jo JA Jo Jo Jo JAC Jo Jo Jo Jo JACK Jo Jo Jo JA Jo Jo Jo JAC Jo Jo Jo Jo JACK Jo Jo Jo JA Jo Jo Jo JAC Jo Jo Jo Jo JACK Jo Jo Jo JA Jo Jo Jo JAC Jo Jo Jo Jo JACK Jo Jo Jo JA Jo Jo Jo JAC Jo Jo Jo Jo JACK Jo Jo Jo JA Jo Jo Jo JAC Jo Jo Jo Jo JACK Jo Jo Jo JA Jo Jo Jo JAC Jo Jo Jo Jo JACK **** WHEW ****** Jo Jo Jo JA Jo Jo Jo JAC Jo Jo Jo Jo JACK Jo Jo Jo JA Jo Jo Jo JAC Jo Jo Jo Jo JACK Jo Jo Jo JA Jo Jo Jo JAC Jo Jo Jo Jo JACK Jo Jo Jo JA Jo Jo Jo JAC Jo Jo Jo Jo JACK Jo Jo Jo JA Jo Jo Jo JAC Jo Jo Jo Jo JACK Jo Jo Jo JA Jo Jo Jo JAC Jo Jo Jo Jo JACK Jo Jo Jo JA Jo Jo Jo JAC Jo Jo Jo Jo JACK Jo Jo Jo JA Jo Jo Jo JAC Jo Jo Jo Jo JACK Jo Jo Jo JA Jo Jo Jo JAC Jo Jo Jo Jo JACK Jo Jo Jo JA Jo Jo Jo JAC Jo Jo Jo Jo JACK Jo Jo Jo JA Jo Jo Jo JAC Jo Jo Jo Jo JACK Jo Jo Jo JA Jo Jo Jo JAC Jo Jo Jo Jo JACK Jo Jo Jo JA Jo Jo Jo JAC Jo Jo Jo Jo JACK Jo Jo Jo JA Jo Jo Jo JAC Jo Jo Jo Jo JACK Jo Jo Jo JA Jo Jo Jo JAC Jo Jo Jo Jo JACK Jo Jo Jo JA Jo Jo Jo JAC Jo Jo Jo Jo JACK Jo Jo Jo JA Jo Jo Jo JAC Jo Jo Jo Jo JACKY
JACKY BOY !
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| Joey |
" I am so dissapointed I don't know what to say.
He claimed he was 38 yrs old in a recent thread and now
I read this and find out he is 41.
Next I will find out he really doesn't weigh 175 pounds. "
Actually , Joey WAS born in 1964 ............................ And the weight fluctuates depending upon the severity of my drinking binges .
Thanks Voodoo !!!!!!!!! This bit is hilarious and really makes my day something special .
You are much loved by the Joey !
JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJOEY !!!!!!!!!!
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| Prodigal Son |
I say we continue to shout his catchphrases until he's let go!
JJJJJJjoooooooeeeeeyyyy!!!! Jo Jo Jo Jo Jo Jo Jo Jo Jo Jo Jo Jo Jooooeeyyy Von Kinkkyyy.... shit, this has to work some time. Only a matter of time before they let him out. Hey, the Who did it for the Stones. |
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| stonedinaustralia |
quote:
beer wrote:
Grand theft Lugar?
excellent beer - that is material worth stealing |
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