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Topic: We Need Laughter (maybe some SC) Return to archive Page: 1 2 3 4 5
14th December 2007 05:38 PM
tumbled A man walks into a bar ....

and orders a drink. After sitting for a few minutes, he hears a voice say, "nice tie." He looks around but doesn't see anybody near him. Some time passes and he hears the same voice say, "nice shirt." This time he looks everywhere; behind him, up and down the bar, under the chair, behind the bar, everywhere he can think to look, but he doesn't see anyone. A few minutes later he hears, "nice haircut." He can't stand it any more, so he calls the bartender over and tells him he has been hearing this voice. The bartender says, "Oh that...that's the nuts -- they're complimentary."

14th December 2007 06:04 PM
Joey " ...and orders a drink. After sitting for a few minutes, he hears a voice say, "nice tie." He looks around but doesn't see anybody near him. Some time passes and he hears the same voice say, "nice shirt." This time he looks everywhere; behind him, up and down the bar, under the chair, behind the bar, everywhere he can think to look, but he doesn't see anyone. A few minutes later he hears, "nice haircut." He can't stand it any more, so he calls the bartender over and tells him he has been hearing this voice. The bartender says, "Oh that...that's the nuts -- they're complimentary."






14th December 2007 10:47 PM
pdog
14th December 2007 11:03 PM
Nellcote Question & Answer Session:

I. Pregnancy

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?

A: No, 35 children is enough.



Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?

A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.



Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?

A: Childbirth.



Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's bo rderline irrational.

A: So what's your question?



Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?

A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.



Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?

A! : Right after you find out you're pregnant.



Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?

A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.



Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?

A: Yes, pregnancy.



Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?

A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.



Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?

A: When the kids are in college.



14th December 2007 11:03 PM
fireontheplatter ok, let me see if i can get this one straight

3 guys die christmas eve and off they float to heaven.
so, they're standing there at the pearly gates and st peter is there to greet them, and he says. before i let you into heaven i need 1 thing from each of you that represents christmas.

the first guy rustles around in his pockets and pulls out a flashlight.....st peter is like ....huh? its a candle, he says. oh, in you go.

the second guy pulls out a set of keys....st peter is like wtf!!! they're bells, he declares. he get into heaven.

the third guy pulls out a pair of panties...st peter is all confused, he is like what is this? and the guy says...they're carrols.
14th December 2007 11:09 PM
pdog two guys are walking down the street, one turn to the other and yells, "you're a motherfucker".
14th December 2007 11:22 PM
Nellcote Ah, peace, quiet, daydreaming....

http://users.pandora.be/wo/holidaymusic.swf
15th December 2007 12:03 AM
TampabayStone
quote:
Nellcote wrote:
Ah, peace, quiet, daydreaming....

http://users.pandora.be/wo/holidaymusic.swf



Wolf Puss Alert!!

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
15th December 2007 11:42 AM
PartyDoll MEG OK..LJ and I have been playing as we are getting snowed in..don't know if this will work..but lets give it a try....

http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1422789709

http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1425747449

http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1426447890
[Edited by PartyDoll MEG]
15th December 2007 12:41 PM
sirmoonie
15th December 2007 01:07 PM
LadyJane
quote:
PartyDoll MEG wrote:
OK..LJ and I have been playing as we are getting snowed in..don't know if this will work..but lets give it a try....

http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1422789709

http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1425747449

http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1426447890
[Edited by PartyDoll MEG]



I LOVE this thing!!!

This is my favorite!!!

http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1426695217

LJ.
15th December 2007 02:18 PM
TampabayStone
quote:
LadyJane wrote:


I LOVE this thing!!!

This is my favorite!!!

http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1426695217

LJ.




LOL.. It's hypnotic!
15th December 2007 02:42 PM
tumbled


15th December 2007 03:44 PM
SweetVirginia The Stones:

http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1430782043

15th December 2007 04:22 PM
PartyDoll MEG For Joey..(asses for TBS and Gazza)


[Edited by PartyDoll MEG]
15th December 2007 04:50 PM
jaggergurl
quote:
LadyJane wrote:


I LOVE this thing!!!

This is my favorite!!!

http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1426695217

LJ.




LOL... that is addictive... they have "Scrooge Yourself" too..

MERRY KEEFMAS EVERYONE... a little fun...

http://www.scroogeyourself.com/?id=1435037674
15th December 2007 06:52 PM
tumbled
quote:
pdog wrote:




LoL
15th December 2007 06:54 PM
Joey
quote:
tumbled wrote:


LoL




W- What ?! :


|
|
V



15th December 2007 06:56 PM
tumbled
http://www.scroogeyourself.com/?id=1435037674


have always wanted to scroogemyself.... just what I wanted!!!!! thank you so much
15th December 2007 07:13 PM
Sioux
quote:
LadyJane wrote:


I LOVE this thing!!!

This is my favorite!!!

http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1426695217

LJ.




That is TOOOOO funny! Keith bustin' a move....
15th December 2007 07:15 PM
Sioux
quote:
SweetVirginia wrote:
The Stones:

http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1430782043





Ha ha! Keith is gettin' serious in this one. Charlie is the best!! What a mover...
15th December 2007 07:29 PM
jaggergurl
quote:
tumbled wrote:

http://www.scroogeyourself.com/?id=1435037674


have always wanted to scroogemyself.... just what I wanted!!!!! thank you so much



glad it gave you a giggle!

Happy Holidays to everyone!
15th December 2007 08:48 PM
TomL I am happy to know all you crazy fuckers.
15th December 2007 09:13 PM
TampabayStone
quote:
PartyDoll MEG wrote:
For Joey..(asses for TBS and Gazza)


[Edited by PartyDoll MEG]



Holy crap that is twisted! I only wish I found that one 1st!! LOL
15th December 2007 09:51 PM
Nellcote It's a few years old now, however, think like it's 2004....
Now take the damn test!

http://www.zipperfish.com/free/quiz/likejailbait.html
16th December 2007 03:47 AM
Highwire Rob








[Edited by Highwire Rob]
16th December 2007 10:45 AM
Moledmc This is me singing Chuck Berry as Stephen Hawking.



I know I am going to hell.
16th December 2007 11:57 AM
open-g Whatever floats yer boat

16th December 2007 04:38 PM
SweetVirginia Here's Mick in Paris Hilton's thong. Meg thought Joey might want to see it in this thread.



16th December 2007 07:59 PM
Joey
quote:
SweetVirginia wrote:
Here's Mick in Paris Hilton's thong. Meg thought Joey might want to see it in this thread.














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