|
|
| Sir Stonesalot |
Imagine my surprise. There is a scratch at my front door. Then another...and another. The sound becomes persistent. So I open the door. And I shit my pants.
It was Fredrico. With a bunch of stamps entangled on his majestic browhair. No return address.
CCM must have misunderstood. Yes Freddy is now our mascot, but that doesn't mean that I have to have him IN MY HOUSE!
My wife is really flipping out. She keeps asking if it eats human flesh. My son has locked himself in his bedroom. And Freddy just raped my dog.
No, you read that right. He butt-humped my dog. My male dog. Kipper has a glazed look in his eyes now. He knows that he's been violated. Poor fella.
But all is not doom and gloom.
Freddy likes coffee. Freddy becomes....less beastlike when I put Stones on the CD plyer. So that's good.
Right now, I'm trying to teach him to say "Fuck Yup". Freddy says it like this: Ffffffffffffffttppppppp eeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeee bbbbbbbbbbbbbbb
Anyhow, long story short, he can't stay with me. Freddy will make my dog all gay and shit. I can't have a gay dog. Says so right on the deed to my house.
Any of you non-dog owners want Freddy for a while? Just till I can get my police pals to find CCM. |
|
|
| Maxlugar |
Kipper the Glittering Snow Prince (With mandatory Sparkly Wand)
Oh, I like the sound of that!
Fondue's all around everyone! On me!
Macky! |
|
|
| Fiji Joe |
Damnit it Freddy!..one minute we're watching old re-runs of Land of the Lost (Frederico really loves Chaka) and the next thing I know, Freddy is clinging to the drapes, in a fit of rage, chunking semi-soft stool matter at me and my domesticated tabby, "left-eye"...well, then he farts and flies out the window...Glad to see he made it to your house SS...at least he's in good hands...I guess I've lost my freddy-sitting privileges?...
BTW, could you check Freddy's front pockets?...I think he took my PT Cruiser key chain... |
|
|
| gypsy |
Ummm, no thanks. If he's anything like SS, he'll be humping my leg every chance he gets. |
|
|
| gypsy |
Your dog is named "Kipper?" So, your dog really never had a chance, did he? Poor gay Kipper. |
|
|
| Sir Stonesalot |
Well, I wanted to name him Meathead, but I got out voted.
Kipper is now decorating his travel crate. He painted the walls mauve, with vermillion trim. I saw him sewing ruffles onto his "snuggle pillow".
This is really sad. |
|
|
| Fiji Joe |
You know, I kind of like Chaka...I bet Freddy would too...
[Edited by Fiji Joe] |
|
|
| Cant Catch Me |
Me, sorry, I'm unavailable for a couple of days while I get my house fumigated and can't help.
What you need to control him, though is Chiba, hope you've got some. But not weed, if that's what you were thinking, if you want to scare him straight you need Sonny Chiba ... Streetfighter!
Just an old Sonny Chiba poster or a video or DVD left running on the tube will do it, even leaving a kung fu magazine open to some pics of Sonny will have him so scared of getting his butt kicked around the block he'll leave your dogs alone and do anything else you tell him to, or not to. |
|
|
| Fiji Joe |
This Sonny Chiba looks like a real bad-ass...and not one of those phony-baloney T.V. bad asses either... |
|
CHAT ROOM aka THE FUN HOUSE] [
RESTROOMS]