| December 25th, 2004 02:37 AM |
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| gypsy |
quote:
sirmoonie wrote:
And lets not forget to hoist quite a few for fucking Israel!
There is no better friend to the good ole United States of America than that fuckwitted gang of scheming, back-stabbing, revo-fascist "Jews" that inhabit the "holy land." They are A-One. Israel has got America's back! Always has, always will.
Yep, we allow all the sorts of murderous and un-American treachery that Israel inflicts upon the freedom loving people of the world because its inhabitants were the victims of a genocide that we are supposed to forgive because it was caused by another set of scumbags that just happen to be equal in equity. But we can't talk about that. Thats not good. I am wrong. Wrong I is.
Yes! No! Maybe! I don't know, but I'm 3/4 something so there! Moof Piss!
Wait till Otis sees us! They love us!
Shama-lama-ding-dong!
Merry Christmas to you and your family, sirmoonie! |
| December 25th, 2004 02:40 AM |
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| sirmoonie |
And lets us all says cheers to the American Indian! Feathers always busted on dots! At least when I was a kid, they did.
Anyway, if you find a sober one of them "natives," hand him/her a bottle of colored water and wish them a merry fucking Christmas. Trust me, they'll never figure it out. They are FUCKED up in their plighthood.
"I'll drink Lysol if you cut the top off, Ronnie!" |
| December 25th, 2004 02:46 AM |
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| sirmoonie |
quote:
gypsy wrote:
Merry Christmas to you and your family, sirmoonie!
Hey Gyps!
Merry Christmas to you and your boyfriend/husband and your beautiful sister and your mama san in-law and your V-vet dad and whatever else you got going.
You make me laugh! Love you girl!
sirmoonie |
| December 25th, 2004 03:00 AM |
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| Bloozehound |
ere's one for the nation!
Admitted German list:
Too Tough
Riffhard (percentage not disclosed)
Bloozehound (75%)
Sounds degrading, but what the fuck does it mean?
|
| December 25th, 2004 03:00 AM |
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| sirmoonie |
And lets not forget to drink one for the nation!
For the nation!
For the nation!
Check it bleeds, this is bone to the home! Got a one nix gat down the shimmy shimmy! Nah, nah, motherfucker, the dice ain't shit! Bitches be homing on my nines! My nines!
Thats right. Splits, be letting it ride. Like a motherfucker, motherfucker. The good lord made me black for a reason, fool. Fool. |
| December 25th, 2004 03:06 AM |
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| sirmoonie |
quote:
Bloozehound wrote:
ere's one for the nation!
Admitted German list:
Too Tough
Riffhard (percentage not disclosed)
Bloozehound (75%)
Sounds degrading, but what the fuck does it mean?
You tell me what it means. You are only on the list because you wanted to be on it.
Are you registered as such? Current law suggest that you are in violation if not. |
| December 25th, 2004 03:06 AM |
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| Bloozehound |
Just because you can speak, doesn't mean you should talk. you're attempt to sound inteligent consistently reveals you as a pedant. Runnin your mouth to hear yourself talk. If you keep it up, there won't be a single female on this board.
trek girls dont count |
| December 25th, 2004 03:11 AM |
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| Bloozehound |
What is your ethnicity? Whatever it is, you will be hard pressed to outdo the German. Really, before you ruffle my feathers, show your own cards (ethnically) |
| December 25th, 2004 03:14 AM |
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| Bloozehound |
pissin in the wind |
| December 25th, 2004 03:18 AM |
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| sirmoonie |
Running out of cause to drink for. I'm sure there are many worthy ones, but they escape me at the moment. Because I'm drunk and can't remember who they are.
There is a leason here, my friends. Drink lots of booze and hoist to everyone you can remember before you forget who they are. Because once you forget who they are because you were too drunk to remember, you can't hoist booze in their memory. Sad fact of life. But true nonetheless. At least I thought it was. I can't remember whether it was or wasn't. |
| December 25th, 2004 03:27 AM |
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| sirmoonie |
quote:
Bloozehound wrote:
What is your ethnicity? Whatever it is, you will be hard pressed to outdo the German. Really, before you ruffle my feathers, show your own cards (ethnically)
WHAT THE FUCK? Holy fucking Jesus are you fucking serious, you retard?
I'm a devout Islamic member of NAMBLA who is descended from a great line of auto-fellatiates. I think that trumps your card. |
| December 25th, 2004 03:35 AM |
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| Bloozehound |
quote:
sirmoonie wrote:
WHAT THE FUCK? Holy fucking Jesus are you fucking serious, you retard?
I'm a devout Islamic member of NAMBLA who is descended from a great line of auto-fellatiates. I think that trumps your card.
If that aint cuntry, then kiss your poor white trash moonsticketer ass
[Edited by Bloozehound]
[Edited by Bloozehound] |
| December 25th, 2004 03:48 AM |
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| sirmoonie |
quote:
Bloozehound wrote:
If that aint cuntry, then kiss your poor white trash moonsticketer ass
[Edited by Bloozehound]
Does that non-sequitor mean something in southern-German retard?
Motherfucker......it really is a divided nation. I'll be golly goddammed.
Lets all hoist one for Jefferson Davis and all the other cowardly Lindh ass Taliban fucks who take up arms against their own nation!
Here REALLY is one for the nation!
The nation! |
| December 25th, 2004 03:56 AM |
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| Bloozehound |
quote:
sirmoonie wrote:
Bloozie!
I like you. You are one of my favorite posting partners.
Take care of your little senorita. Hope you both have a safe and happy Christmas and New Years.
cool bra
enjoy my man
[Edited by Bloozehound] |
| December 25th, 2004 04:29 AM |
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| sirmoonie |
quote:
Bloozehound wrote:
cool bra
enjoy my man
[Edited by Bloozehound]
Whatever, Dumbo. You and Eva Braun's pogram based lifestyle just never give me a Rise in my Levi's. Know what I'm saying?
Anyway, here's pounding one down for The Reverand Louis Farakhan and idiots all over the world!
"Jesus had kinky hair, Ronnie!" |
| December 25th, 2004 12:38 PM |
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| Bloozehound |
lmfao
2 or 3 of those above posts are not my words. I had guests last night and we were at the computer for a bit, their shit isn't that good either, but I'm not going to erase it cuz it's funny.
Merry x-mas!
cheers! |
| December 25th, 2004 01:39 PM |
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| Bloozehound |
quote:
sirmoonie wrote:
Running out of cause to drink for. I'm sure there are many worthy ones, but they escape me at the moment. Because I'm drunk and can't remember who they are.
you were on quite a roll there moonie
good stuff
I just put a bottle of wine on the ice, I'll try to contibute some later on |
| December 25th, 2004 04:34 PM |
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| Bloozehound |
The following story is true, only the names have been changed to protect the innocent.
Many would agree the dream of a threesome with lesbians is the ultimate male fantasy. Im not so sure anymore.
I begin this story with the introduction of Sue. She worked for me on a part-time basis doing basic tasks on weekends and evenings at my office. In her early forties, Sue got the job as she was the only applicant for a suck-ass minimum-wage job with horrible hours, and she was handicapped. She was a placement by the local employment service for the tards and while she wasnt the almond-eyed mongoloid weve all come to know and love, she was the chemically infused head case who heard voices and occasionally went off the deep end. She was also extremely fat, had trouble walking, and a crew cut that would make a Marine proud. Either way, she showed up, did her job, and didnt complain about the mindless tasks I gave her.
Sue worked for me for a couple years, during which we had time to idly chit-chat about life in general. I came to find out she lived with another woman, and they were lesbians. They both were in and out of mental institutions and living off whatever Sue made and their government support checks. The sob story may have been something to feel pity about, but I couldnt bleach my minds eye of the thought of someone going down on her. Finally, she decided she didnt want to work anymore, so she quit. When she came in for her final paycheck, she sat in my office and confided in me that she was actually bisexual, and she really wanted me but wouldnt tell me that while I was still her supervisor. The revolting concept actually gave me chills. I figured Id never hear from Sue again.
In my home life I found out my wife had been having an affair with several different guys and ended up pregnant. I knew it wasnt mine as it had been more than two years since Id fucked her. Why was I still there you ask? Well, it was complicated and not germane to this story so Ill leave it at that. Either way, Id been doing the five-knuckle shuffle for way too long and with this new revelation, it was time for me to do some hunting, and I was going to shoot the first one I found.
I was driving around town, and saw Sue sitting at a bus stop. I pulled up in front of her and asked her if I could give her a lift somewhere. She gratefully accepted, and said she was headed to the local soup kitchen for a meal. Being the generous guy I am, I offered to take her out to lunch at some cheap diner. Excited, she asked if her girlfriend could come too, as the restaurant I picked was only around the corner from their place. Sure, why not.
When Lady (yes, thats her name) showed up, I nearly knocked over my coffee just looking at her. It was a squeeze for her to get through the door of the diner, and Sue went to help hold the door so Lady and her aluminum walker could maneuver to the table. Sue may have looked like a barrel with a butch cut and boobs, but Lady was massive. From the squinty pig eyes and triple chin all the way down to the cankles, she was easily four bills large of pork rinds, hot dogs, lithium and prozac. I ordered a beer.
After the meal ended and I had a few more beers in me, the talk turned to sex. In no time at all, Lady and Sue had offered a blowjob in return for my hospitality and lunch. As I said earlier, it had been two years of jacking off and the mere mention of a blowjob flushed me a little. I figured what the hell, if my eyes are closed it really shouldnt matter.
I paid the tab and we made our way back to their apartment. Ive seen pictures of apartments like this on Cops and Ripleys Believe It Or Not. Piles of garbage were completely covering the floor, except for paths leading to various areas of the one-bedroom hovel. I had to take a leak, so I waded back to the bathroom. When I came back, all I saw was skin. A huge fleshy pile of fat. Lady and Sue had both stripped, and were waiting for me. Lady was sitting on her bed, propped up against the wall bearing a striking resemblance to Jabba The Hutt while she pinched and kneaded her equally massive tits. Sue was laying back next to Lady plunging a purple vibrator deep in her own snatch. Lady went first, grabbing my rod and choking it all the way down, going after it like it was a ballpark frank on opening day at Shea. Meanwhile, Sue was slurping on Ladys tits, and her fist had disappeared beneath the rolls of fat.
After a few minutes of this, Sue grabbed ahold and started chugging my cock while Lady rolled forward and started eating Sues pussy. Soon enough I was ready to blow, and shot a couple ropes right in Sues eyes. Lady then grabbed me and started cleaning off my dick with her mouth, which recharged the internal batteries much faster than I had anticipated. Now they were both fingering each other and taking turns slurping on me when Sue leaned back and said she wanted me to fuck her. I may have been desperate, but I wasnt completely stupid, and had spied a box of rubbers in the pile of trash in their room. I grabbed two, and put BOTH of them on.
I then started pumping away on Sues snatch while Lady bit her nipples. The sounds were getting louder and louder, and Sue started screaming and scratching her fingernails into her own arms, making them bleed. With that, I pulled out and shoved that purple vibrator in her, then moved over to Lady. I pushed her back, then did a deadlift on the lowest roll of FUP (Fat Upper Pussy). I uncovered a bush that hadnt seen daylight since the Carter Administration, but I didnt care at that point. I started pounding her, while fucking Sue with the vibrator. As I pushed against Lady, I was moving layers of fat that apparently hadnt been cleaned out in a while, as there was caked dirt between the layers. That was enough for me, so I pulled out and stripped off the two raincoats and finished myself off, shooting on Ladys huge tits. Sue was spent, laying motionless on the bed, Lady was licking my jism off her tits, and I was still almost fully clothed. Snapping out of the post! nut-busting haze, I got a solid look at my surroundings and realized where I was and what I had done. Without a word, I zipped up and walked out of the door, and never looked back.
I still see them shuffling around town sometimes, but Ive changed jobs, homes, and cars so its unlikely theyd ever be able to track me down if they wanted to. I cant help but think theres probably still a wad of my cum in one of Ladys fat rolls to this day, and that actually makes me laugh.
|
| December 25th, 2004 08:00 PM |
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| egon |
My liver itches.
I'm trying to figure out wether that's a good thing.
It probably is.
And now; Chamagne. |
| December 26th, 2004 12:09 AM |
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| gypsy |
quote:
Bloozehound wrote:
The following story is true, only the names have been changed to protect the innocent.
Many would agree the dream of a threesome with lesbians is the ultimate male fantasy. Im not so sure anymore.
I begin this story with the introduction of Sue. She worked for me on a part-time basis doing basic tasks on weekends and evenings at my office. In her early forties, Sue got the job as she was the only applicant for a suck-ass minimum-wage job with horrible hours, and she was handicapped. She was a placement by the local employment service for the tards and while she wasnt the almond-eyed mongoloid weve all come to know and love, she was the chemically infused head case who heard voices and occasionally went off the deep end. She was also extremely fat, had trouble walking, and a crew cut that would make a Marine proud. Either way, she showed up, did her job, and didnt complain about the mindless tasks I gave her.
Sue worked for me for a couple years, during which we had time to idly chit-chat about life in general. I came to find out she lived with another woman, and they were lesbians. They both were in and out of mental institutions and living off whatever Sue made and their government support checks. The sob story may have been something to feel pity about, but I couldnt bleach my minds eye of the thought of someone going down on her. Finally, she decided she didnt want to work anymore, so she quit. When she came in for her final paycheck, she sat in my office and confided in me that she was actually bisexual, and she really wanted me but wouldnt tell me that while I was still her supervisor. The revolting concept actually gave me chills. I figured Id never hear from Sue again.
In my home life I found out my wife had been having an affair with several different guys and ended up pregnant. I knew it wasnt mine as it had been more than two years since Id fucked her. Why was I still there you ask? Well, it was complicated and not germane to this story so Ill leave it at that. Either way, Id been doing the five-knuckle shuffle for way too long and with this new revelation, it was time for me to do some hunting, and I was going to shoot the first one I found.
I was driving around town, and saw Sue sitting at a bus stop. I pulled up in front of her and asked her if I could give her a lift somewhere. She gratefully accepted, and said she was headed to the local soup kitchen for a meal. Being the generous guy I am, I offered to take her out to lunch at some cheap diner. Excited, she asked if her girlfriend could come too, as the restaurant I picked was only around the corner from their place. Sure, why not.
When Lady (yes, thats her name) showed up, I nearly knocked over my coffee just looking at her. It was a squeeze for her to get through the door of the diner, and Sue went to help hold the door so Lady and her aluminum walker could maneuver to the table. Sue may have looked like a barrel with a butch cut and boobs, but Lady was massive. From the squinty pig eyes and triple chin all the way down to the cankles, she was easily four bills large of pork rinds, hot dogs, lithium and prozac. I ordered a beer.
After the meal ended and I had a few more beers in me, the talk turned to sex. In no time at all, Lady and Sue had offered a blowjob in return for my hospitality and lunch. As I said earlier, it had been two years of jacking off and the mere mention of a blowjob flushed me a little. I figured what the hell, if my eyes are closed it really shouldnt matter.
I paid the tab and we made our way back to their apartment. Ive seen pictures of apartments like this on Cops and Ripleys Believe It Or Not. Piles of garbage were completely covering the floor, except for paths leading to various areas of the one-bedroom hovel. I had to take a leak, so I waded back to the bathroom. When I came back, all I saw was skin. A huge fleshy pile of fat. Lady and Sue had both stripped, and were waiting for me. Lady was sitting on her bed, propped up against the wall bearing a striking resemblance to Jabba The Hutt while she pinched and kneaded her equally massive tits. Sue was laying back next to Lady plunging a purple vibrator deep in her own snatch. Lady went first, grabbing my rod and choking it all the way down, going after it like it was a ballpark frank on opening day at Shea. Meanwhile, Sue was slurping on Ladys tits, and her fist had disappeared beneath the rolls of fat.
After a few minutes of this, Sue grabbed ahold and started chugging my cock while Lady rolled forward and started eating Sues pussy. Soon enough I was ready to blow, and shot a couple ropes right in Sues eyes. Lady then grabbed me and started cleaning off my dick with her mouth, which recharged the internal batteries much faster than I had anticipated. Now they were both fingering each other and taking turns slurping on me when Sue leaned back and said she wanted me to fuck her. I may have been desperate, but I wasnt completely stupid, and had spied a box of rubbers in the pile of trash in their room. I grabbed two, and put BOTH of them on.
I then started pumping away on Sues snatch while Lady bit her nipples. The sounds were getting louder and louder, and Sue started screaming and scratching her fingernails into her own arms, making them bleed. With that, I pulled out and shoved that purple vibrator in her, then moved over to Lady. I pushed her back, then did a deadlift on the lowest roll of FUP (Fat Upper Pussy). I uncovered a bush that hadnt seen daylight since the Carter Administration, but I didnt care at that point. I started pounding her, while fucking Sue with the vibrator. As I pushed against Lady, I was moving layers of fat that apparently hadnt been cleaned out in a while, as there was caked dirt between the layers. That was enough for me, so I pulled out and stripped off the two raincoats and finished myself off, shooting on Ladys huge tits. Sue was spent, laying motionless on the bed, Lady was licking my jism off her tits, and I was still almost fully clothed. Snapping out of the post! nut-busting haze, I got a solid look at my surroundings and realized where I was and what I had done. Without a word, I zipped up and walked out of the door, and never looked back.
I still see them shuffling around town sometimes, but Ive changed jobs, homes, and cars so its unlikely theyd ever be able to track me down if they wanted to. I cant help but think theres probably still a wad of my cum in one of Ladys fat rolls to this day, and that actually makes me laugh.
What a lovely story...and on Christmas, no less.
You are really gross...I don't know which is sadder--the fact that you make fun of these handicapped women, or the fact that you busted a nut--not once, but twice. Pathetic. |
| December 26th, 2004 12:18 AM |
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| kath |
uh....hmmmm
so.......how about that google homepage thing, huh? pretty cute...really pretty cute...... |
| December 26th, 2004 12:45 AM |
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| LadyJane |
Well said, gyps. I'm about to take a scalding hot shower with Lysol!
"Excuse me...I need another cocktail."
LJ. |
| December 26th, 2004 05:42 AM |
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| egon |
It's good to see how popular this thread is at the moment.
Good work people and please, continue the drinking
My liver REALLY itches now. |
| December 26th, 2004 02:27 PM |
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| Ten Thousand Motels |
quote:
egon wrote:
It's good to see how popular this thread is at the moment.
Good work people and please, continue the drinking
My liver REALLY itches now.
Some people drink ALL the time, it's no big deal really. |
| December 26th, 2004 08:46 PM |
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| kath |
i see we all agree then........ |
| December 26th, 2004 08:50 PM |
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| parmeda |
quote:
gypsy wrote:
What a lovely story...and on Christmas, no less.
You are really gross...I don't know which is sadder--the fact that you make fun of these handicapped women, or the fact that you busted a nut--not once, but twice. Pathetic.
Save your breath, gyps...
Blooze, you have issues...scary ones at that.
|
| December 26th, 2004 11:30 PM |
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| sirmoonie |
quote:
egon wrote:
It's good to see how popular this thread is at the moment.
Good work people and please, continue the drinking
My liver REALLY itches now.
Egonie! Tingling feelings in the liver area are usually a sign of VERY heavy and continued drinking in a relatively short time (e.g. days to weeks). Don't waste your time and money ligning up an appointment getting some leech bleeding quack-fuck to tell you what I just said. You drink too much, motorfingers!
Livers were made to last the full ride, Egonie. Take it somewhat easy on the hootch, and trust me, you'll die of a fucking coronary or stroke or some fucking disastorous shit like that before you ever hit the Hagman line.
And lets all hoist one for Baron Egon! |
| December 26th, 2004 11:31 PM |
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| Sir Stonesalot |
Geez, I thought it was a funny story.
Disgusting, but funny. |
| December 26th, 2004 11:52 PM |
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| sirmoonie |
Lets all hoist one for the fucking Texans! America's ex-communicated juvenile deliquents have self-relegated themselves to ex-patriate status. God fucking willing America will declare war on them this decade. Economic war, I mean. None of this senseless killing of women and children unless absolutely necessary to the cause. Like in Iraq.
Hoist! |
| December 27th, 2004 12:05 AM |
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| sirmoonie |
And lets all hoist for Christopher Hitchens!
I know, retards, there's like all those fucking like big ass words and shit like that, and you can't even figure out whether he pulled R or D chains or not. But hey! At least you can say you heard his name!
Go like this at your next retard conglomeration in the unlikely event he is mentioned: "Yeah....Hitchens. I've read his material. I'm not sure whether or not I agree. It all depends, you know. There are so many factors....." |
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